Page 4 | Single woman and married men

Eightiesfan · 10/02/2022 20:28

No idea what your point is here. It does not matter whether the single woman is an escort, a teacher or a vicar. The onus is on the married man to keep it in his trousers. Why is it the woman’s duty to ward of the attentions of a married man?

BuddhaForMary · 10/02/2022 20:38

@Eightiesfan OP clearly knows that. I think she's being purposefully goady quite frankly.

Sleepytimebear · 10/02/2022 20:41

Your initial argument is totally flawed because as this thread shows, no one thinks the single woman is to blame in this scenario and no one thinks the single woman has to respect the institution of marriage. So basically the "prostitute loophole" is only potentially relevant for this minority of people who believe women are to blame for everything and men are helpless in this scenario.

CircleofWillis · 10/02/2022 20:50

@Sleepytimebear

Your initial argument is totally flawed because as this thread shows, no one thinks the single woman is to blame in this scenario and no one thinks the single woman has to respect the institution of marriage. So basically the "prostitute loophole" is only potentially relevant for this minority of people who believe women are to blame for everything and men are helpless in this scenario.

Actually I think that a person in a relationship who has an affair is generally at fault but I also think that people shouldn't deliberately get involved with people who are already in a relationship.

I do not think that the single person is blameless in this situation and I really find it hard to believe that other people do.

QueenCamilla · 10/02/2022 20:51

Having been an escort:

I used to Prefer married men*
I also don't get wtf is the point of this thread?

very clean, health-conscious, well-off, short on time (single one's tended to try for some sort of imaginary girlfriend thingy) and I was always safe with them ( a married man wouldn't want to give or get any trouble that might blow his "cover" )

Having thought of it - would I ever be after a no-strings-attached I'd also choose married ones. For the above reasons. Haven't had the need though! 🤷‍♂️

UserBot9to5 · 10/02/2022 20:52

@bluecray

So it's ok for a single woman to have sex with a married man if she's a sex worker? But it's not ok for a single woman to have sex with a married man if she's not a sex worker?

If she needs money, you cannot expect her to check the man is single. She has other concerns; that he isn't violent

Traumdeuter · 10/02/2022 20:54

@sassbott

It’s ok for any single woman to have sex with anyone else so long as it is entirely consensual.

It is not ok for someone in a committed/ exclusive relationship to physically stray. Irrespective of whether the person is an escort or not. Does that clear things up for you?

This

peboh · 10/02/2022 20:55

If the single woman knows the couple personally, and would perhaps be friendly with them then yes I don't think she should seek out the married man. However.... it isn't on her to make him stay faithful. This works for both single women and sex workers. The man is in charge of where he sticks his dick, and if he's not solely sticking it in wife then he's the problem.

UserBot9to5 · 10/02/2022 20:58

@Skilovingmama

Do you know, I find the idea of men paying for sex and the use of a woman’s body abhorrent. I don’t give a shit whether the prostitute is single or in a relationship. Why is it so hard for you to see OP that sex workers don’t fancy their clients, often they find them repulsive? They are paid to have sex with them. Sometimes they are beaten and raped by their Johns too. I don’t know if you’ve been watching Pretty Woman or something but that is not reality.

Seriously, I find your line of reasoning really offensive actually. Do you realise that some of the escorts are literally being coerced by pimps into doing the work they do and you’re harping on about ‘is it okay for a sex worker to have sex with a married man’. Get a fucking grip.

Exactly. It's not like the sex worker is after your man 🙈🙈🙈

ABitOfAShitShow · 10/02/2022 21:02

Agree with @NeesAndToes and @sassbott - the onus is on the attached person and I don’t blame the other party, sex worker or not. 🤷🏼‍♀️

But for completion, no, I don’t think advertising your services equates to chasing and no, I don’t think that person should care about a customer’s life outside the transaction!

Sleepytimebear · 10/02/2022 21:20

CircleofWillis

Actually I think that a person in a relationship who has an affair is generally at fault but I also think that people shouldn't deliberately get involved with people who are already in a relationship.

I do not think that the single person is blameless in this situation and I really find it hard to believe that other people do.

According to this thread, you are in the minority. My ex husband cheated. I blame him, not her. I don't know her. I don't know what he told her - could well have said he was single or separated. And frankly she owes me nothing. My husband however, quite a different story.

oopsIdiditagaintoo · 10/02/2022 21:27

Focus on the man here. The man is the one who is married and has the moral responsibility to his spouse.

Absolutely this.

However, as a woman I would not entertain a married man. As I have morals too.

My ex partner cheated on me. I wouldn't want to be part of the hurt that would cause someone else.

bongobingo43 · 10/02/2022 21:34

@bluecray

Personally I think we - as women - have been conditioned to see sex workers as 'ok' because it's a business transaction.

I think we have been fooled by the patriarchy.

Many escorts/prostitutes/sex workers are vulnerable and are completely exploited by men (both clients and their boss/pimp/bf).

I'm sure the majority have much more to worry about than whether the man who is about to take advantage of her she exploit her vulnerability is married or not

Anyway, I doubt many married men turn up to meet an escort wearing a wedding ring or waving their marriage certificate in the air

strawberrymilkshake123 · 10/02/2022 21:45

@girlmom21

By your logic should a man not go to a female doctor if he finds a lump in a sensitive area - because a woman should be allowed to touch his testicles?

That has to be one of the most stupid and insensitive posts I've ever seen.

Do you seriously think a married man going for a physical examination from a female GP because he has symptoms of testicular cancer, is in anyway betraying his wife/ partner ?!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 10/02/2022 21:47

This is bonkers
You are saying an escort shouldn’t be having sec with married men
Isn’t that 50% of their target market !!??

BuddhaForMary · 10/02/2022 21:51

You do realise that an escort and a prostitute aren't the same thing, right? Not that even matters because this thread is bonkers.

AutomaticMoon · 10/02/2022 21:52

@strawberrymilkshake123 I think the PP was just trying to make OP realise it’s a job, for the escort, like for the doctor feeling the testicles? Might’ve misunderstood though.

CircleofWillis · 10/02/2022 21:54

I think I'm missing the point of this thread. What is your point OP and what do you think about it all?

CoraPearl · 10/02/2022 22:08

@bluecray

There is the argument (which I agree with) that single women should not chase married men. However, how does this argument stack up when the single woman is an escort advertising herself online?

An escort, prostitute, high class hooker, sex worker or whatever you want to call them provides sexual services for payment, to anyone who wants to pay. That said, there might be certain kinds of clients they will not see, or services they will provide for any amount of money. However, this is dependent on the individual.

It's a business transaction. The escort is not chasing anyone.

If sex workers refused to see married men, they would lose the majority of their clients.

Opentooffers · 10/02/2022 22:09

OP, you seem to want to have a difintive answer as to who is more to blame, the single woman, or single prostitute.You can't equate the two, they both do it, but for entirely different reasons. You could of just as easily said "the single woman having a ONS v's single woman having extended affair. How much blame you want to heap on a woman is a personal pov, but the common dominator is the married man, so it's easy to blame him more - ah, but what if the marriage has broken down, what if he suffers abuse within it?
You see, you can't aportion blame necessarily on the role people have played in infidelity, there is usually a complex background of reasons, it's impossible to simplify. Bit of a non- argument you've put up really.

shouldhavewouldhave · 11/02/2022 00:27

@bluecray

Personally I think we - as women - have been conditioned to see sex workers as 'ok' because it's a business transaction.

I think we have been fooled by the patriarchy.

I definitely don't think prostitution is ok. It's hugely damaging in fact. Most of us (female or male) wouldn't have to have to have sex with strangers for money.

shouldhavewouldhave · 11/02/2022 00:29

@journeym4n

the way i see it, as a married man. No matter what it is not ok to be intimate in any way with anyone else other than her. I wouldnt like it being the other way around. An escort sees it as a business transaction. Morals dont come into play when money is the primary interest.

Morals should come into play with everything you do in life.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/02/2022 00:35

Eaving aside the ethics around sex work and testing this as a thought experiment almost, yes I think the difference is the business angle.
I would expect a self respecting person not to DATE or engage in FUN sex with someone who's married. The onus is the the person in a relationship yes, but both parties are capable of saying no, this is morally objectionable.

However if we lived in a world where sex work was a free choice, then I don't think they're the same obligation if someone is paying you for a service.

Meh2020 · 11/02/2022 02:24

@bluecray why do single women need to respect the institution of marriage? Surely it is the people who have entered into the said institution that should be respecting it; the husband and wife.

I don’t give a hoot about marriage but I do have my own moral code and I would never ever entertain a sleeze bag husband looking for extramarital sex.

You seem to be blaming women rather than the men who cheat on their wives; where’s your girl code compass because it seems to be quite off to me.

Oh and I am a single woman.

TedMullins · 11/02/2022 03:26

I’m not sure what the point you’re trying to prove is but single women have no obligation to “respect the institution of marriage”. The only people who should be doing that are the ones who are in the marriage, if that’s what they’ve agreed. Are you insinuating it’s okay for single women to sleep with men who are in a relationship but unmarried, because there’s no institution to respect?