Online dating red flag?

[fenellastripe]

Is it a red flag if someone lies about their age on their online dating profile?

Not necessarily, depends on the circumstances.

knocking a couple of years off - a lot of people do that - male and female.

Depends how many years!!

Isn't that a bad start to a relationship though? It's something so basic to lie about I'd wonder if they could be truthful about the really important stuff.

Yes. They are untrustworthy.

Yes, why do they need to lie about it? It doesn't get things off to a great start if they're not being honest from the start.

I don't know why he needed to lie about it. He looks younger than his actual age but his actual age isn't a problem anyway. I've read before that people do this when they're on the cusp of decade changes (say they're 50 but think people will search under 50).

I overlooked a 2 year porky as I was told on the first date and it seemed reasonable.
I didn’t realise I was overlooking the ‘month sick leave’ being unemployment or the degree being no o levels for a good while - and later the women 🤦🏻‍♀️ He didn’t lie about height or weight so that was the good start! I don’t actually mind about qualifications or possibly employment however I do mind about lies; the lies from the get go do tell you how that person operates.
Honestly I do find it sort of understandable to change from 51 to 49 perhaps but also honestly be sure there are no other slight porkies going on which indicate someone says either what they’d like to be or what they’d like you to think they are with little regard to the truth.

@fenellastripe

I don't know why he needed to lie about it. He looks younger than his actual age but his actual age isn't a problem anyway. I've read before that people do this when they're on the cusp of decade changes (say they're 50 but think people will search under 50).

Yes I did this! Doesn't mean a red flag, it's a white lie, like those that people often use when applying for jobs. It's certainly not worse than using a photo 10 years and 10kgs out of date!

I don't want to come across judgemental, but lying about your age isn't a white lie. It wouldn't be acceptable to lie about your age when applying for a job.

@fenellastripe

I don't know why he needed to lie about it. He looks younger than his actual age but his actual age isn't a problem anyway. I've read before that people do this when they're on the cusp of decade changes (say they're 50 but think people will search under 50).

Yeah I think lots of people do this around the date range filter changes, I’m 52 and still look younger (so I’m told), but being over 50 has certainly reduced the amount of interest I get now

Maybe I should say I’m 48 ?

I'm really surprised at the number of posters who think this is ok given some of the reactions I've seen to less dubious behaviour. My feeling is dating should be straightforward, at least in the beginning. Lying about something that small from the outset sets the tone for more awkwardness/complications in the future and I personally couldn't be bothered with that. The fact you're having to post about this at such an early stage is in itself a red flag, men usually are on their best behaviour at the beginning if they really like you. If this is his best, how much worse is it going to get? That would be my concern.

@fenellastripe

I don't know why he needed to lie about it. He looks younger than his actual age but his actual age isn't a problem anyway. I've read before that people do this when they're on the cusp of decade changes (say they're 50 but think people will search under 50).

Yes, people do do this to get around the age categories. As long as they say immediately when you start to chat I don't think it is an issue.

@Poppins88
Both genders will do this kinda thing really

Generally yes. However I think if its just by a year or two to avoid cutoffs then its fine.

For example if you are 31 and you tend to date ages 25-35, a lot of ppl i their 20s set their cap at at 30. Without really giving it much thought. But they'd happily date someone who is 31. So if you put 29 on your profile, you'll still get those ppl matching with you.

I used to do it, no one ever had a problem with it. I do look very young for my age too though, plus I tend to date younger men so it just made sense. At 33 now though I wouldn't do it I don't think. Feels a bit too cheeky lol.

Of course if they are lying by a big amount then it's really not on.

Dating online is tough. I think everyone is just fed up with it and trying anything they can.

Getting a date is impossible. The apps are designed to keep you on them.

I consider myself fit and attractive but getting a date is near impossible. Everyone seems to lie about height, age and everything else. The apps don’t care.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I'm surprised at that but then I was recently made aware people use fake names on dating apps and that's seen as normal as well so what do I know shrugs

Only thing I would say is most dating apps have a box you can tick to indicate whether the age range you've selected is a deal breaker or not, so it's not really necessary to try and get around the cutoff.

Everyone seems to lie about height, age and everything else.

It’s a bit sad really, everyone seems to think they need to be that little bit, younger , taller, slimmer, more handsome etc to get noticed, especially with the seemingly unlimited supply of people to swipe, there will always be the feeling that there is going to be someone a bit better a swipe away.

Yes red flag to me I’m surprised so many think it’s ok but I guess they are the ones who lie about their age!

I would see it as a red flag, they are insecure about themselves, not attractive also it's a warning they aren't the most trustworthy.

I think it's really weird. Even the posters saying that they've done it. Saying that because you're happy to date 25-35 when you're in your 30s, but people in their 20s might put 30 as their upper age limit really doesn't excuse it, in fact that makes it worse to me. If they wanted to date older than 30 they'd have put a higher limit on it, it's like saying, "well even if they don't want to date people my age, I want to date people their age so it's fine to lie?!"

yes, it means they are a liar and it also means they don;t think they are good enough as they are.

'Yeah I think lots of people do this around the date range filter changes, I’m 52 and still look younger (so I’m told), but being over 50 has certainly reduced the amount of interest I get now'

That's why I did it. Knocking a year or two off your age is hardly a crime. I was 51, very fit, ran marathons, two jobs, had youngish kids and certainly didn't want to meet retired men.
The photos which aren't recent, heavily photoshopped or only show people wearing sunglasses are far worse.

How many years were being knocked off?

I try my hardest to resist this as I'm one of the 99% of women on MN who think they look much younger than their age

But actually I want to date honest, secure people, similar to my age, and in similar condition.

So I'm happy to 'miss out' on the guys who lie on their profiles.
Cock is abundant and low value cock even more so!