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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH resentful of student loan repayments

126 replies

StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:02

Will try to keep this brief. I was an English teacher until covid hit and dc was struggling g at school and on a part time timetable (still is) and subsequently diagnosed with multiple additional needs. Due to these needs childcare was very hard to find and we made a joint decision to quit my job. The issue is that I had been part time since returning after mat leave and still have a chunk of student loan.

DH has his own business and due to the amount he's earned he's split it between us (for tax purposes) and now has a bill to repay my student loan. He's making me feel really bad by keep going on about how it's really unfair that he's having to repay my debts ut there is literally nothing I can do! It is what it is, I don't have an income anymore due to dc's needs.

I appreciate we are fortunate that he's earning enough for this to be an issue but it's really upsetting. Not sure what I'm asking really, just feel really shit, like he really resents me for it Sad

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 07/02/2022 22:27

He's been grabby and blaming you for his poor decision.

Can you teach at home through one of those tutoring companies?
Exam grading and invigilator?

M0RVEN · 07/02/2022 22:29

Ok it’s good that you are married and your own half the shares. Can I ask if they are alphabet shares ? I mean are they the same class of shares or do you have A and B shares?

You don’t have to ask him, you can see the documents for free on companies house.

@StudentLoanWoes it’s good that you are informed about this. I know you feel trapped and yes of course you are vulnerable because you don’t work and you are the main carer for your child.

But the big HUGE advantage you have over many if not most women in your situation is that you KNOW a you are at risk. This means you can start taking some actions.

No it’s not ideal but information is power. If you were my friend I’d tell you to assemble all your paperwork and get legal advice. Just so you know where you stand.

Then I’d tell you to say to your t husband that you felt guilty about him having to pay your debt so you plan to go back to work and share the care of your DC with him.

Then I’d look for a job and recruit a nanny / childminder. I know it’s really hard to get childcare for a kid with SN but you are he’s going to have to get used to it if you and your DH split up.

I’d also be taking £50 in cash back every time I went to the supermarket and stashing that away to pay for legal advice. But don’t tell anyone you are doing this.

Start a personal pension and tell your husband you need to pay in as much as he is every year.

M0RVEN · 07/02/2022 22:31

Also make sure you have copies of the company’s accounts and the company tax return - you will no doubt have signed these as a company director.

topcat2014 · 07/02/2022 22:35

If the company is basically a one man trade, it doesn't automatically mean the wife shareholder can have divs at lower rate of tax. That is a misconception. It is income shifting.

Original poster
StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 22:37

@M0RVEN thank you. I spoke about getting a pension sorted the other day. He replied he was already shelling out loads in tax and student loans. So in other words I'd ibwant one I'm going to have to organise it myself. Not sure where to start really.

OP posts:
TheAbbotOfUnreason · 07/02/2022 22:42

Isn’t contributing to a director’s pension more tax efficient?

Does your company use an accountant to advise you?

lovelyupnorth · 07/02/2022 22:43

But paying into your pension will save tax. And if he does it from the company could save corporation tax.

In reality he seems a total tosspot and pretty much committing fraud. Let’s hope HMRC catches up with him.

user1497207191 · 07/02/2022 22:50

@CayrolBaaaskin

If you aren’t genuinely an employee doing work (sounds like you are not) it is absolutely illegal to do that. He has no grounds to complain about your student loan when he is trying to tax dodge.
No it’s not. Court cases have decided shared can be freely trf between spouses and dividends taxed on the shareholder. All as long as IR35 doesn’t apply, which only really applies to the likes of IT consultants and other knowledge based personal services provided akin to being an employee.
AuditAngel · 07/02/2022 22:52

So, he is benefitting from using your personal allowance and some of your basic rate band instead of using his 40%/45% bands, but he bitching about triggering repayments on your student loan as he has created income for you.

Charming. So because he had decided how much tax this was going to save him, he’s unhappy to be receiving less.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/02/2022 22:54

It's becoming increasingly obvious that you're in an unhealthy, unhappy and unequal relationship. I have a funny feeling that if you came into an inheritance or lottery win, he would definitely view that as joint money?

What's his is his and what's yours is 'ours' I bet?

I couldn't plan a life with someone so resentful and spiteful as to view me as a financial burden while I provided childcare for a joint child with additional / complex needs.

Or, tbh, someone who wants to be as tax efficient as possible but isn't savvy enough to pay for an accountant to ensure this is done with no sting in the tail and then lashed out at the fact there's a cost he didn't factor in.

You're financially vulnerable but as you're married, assets are joint. I would be making plans to break up while there are still assets rather than becoming increasingly financially dependent on someone who doesn't respect you.

VivX · 07/02/2022 22:56

@M0RVEN

Also make sure you have copies of the company’s accounts and the company tax return - you will no doubt have signed these as a company director.
Not necessarily. Often only one director signs the accounts and tax return. Plenty of companies operate like this and then, when things go pear-shaped the other directors wish they'd insisted on seeing the full accounts and tax return.
FrownedUpon · 07/02/2022 23:00

Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. Are you happy?

Regarding the student loan issue, he got what was coming I’m afraid.

LannieDuck · 08/02/2022 08:20

I thought we were a partnership and now suddenly it seems it is 'his money' and 'my debt'

Well maybe he should start doing his childcare and you can go back to work full time? Then you could pay off your own debts with the money that you're earning.

...of course, he'd probably end up worse off on a PT income. Be careful what you wish for and all that.

HogwartsForever11 · 08/02/2022 09:02

I don't understand how you've been hit with a big bill as the repayments are a % of your income. For degrees started after 2016 it's 9% of what you earn over c. £27k. I earn around £50k and pay back about £40 a month, so what has he got you down as earning?

AlDanvers · 08/02/2022 09:18

@HogwartsForever11

I don't understand how you've been hit with a big bill as the repayments are a % of your income. For degrees started after 2016 it's 9% of what you earn over c. £27k. I earn around £50k and pay back about £40 a month, so what has he got you down as earning?
I agree. Something doesn't add up.

For a huge repayment, to be more than the tax he is saving, he must be claiming a huge amount in her name.

RobinPenguins · 08/02/2022 09:27

The threshold for Plan 1 loans is much lower, about £19k at the moment. My repayment used to be getting on for £200 a month before it was repaid, and I wasn’t earning £50k. Still probably not enough that it should wipe out all the tax benefit of the husband’s arrangement but likely to be more than £40 given the OP’s likely age.

Glitterygreen · 08/02/2022 09:34

@RobinPenguins

The threshold for Plan 1 loans is much lower, about £19k at the moment. My repayment used to be getting on for £200 a month before it was repaid, and I wasn’t earning £50k. Still probably not enough that it should wipe out all the tax benefit of the husband’s arrangement but likely to be more than £40 given the OP’s likely age.
Agree, I'm on Plan 1 (graduated in 2010) and my repayments around £250 a month, I earn just over £50k.
billy1966 · 08/02/2022 09:35

@beautifullymad

You need to start a hidden fund, mine was in cash as it's untraceable. Truly. I was in your position. What's his is his, what's yours is his, and you are his too! But the children are your domain until you leave, then they are his property. Box clever for as long as you can, photocopy everything and stash it safely. Pension, accounts, income, banking, savings. You may never need this, but if it goes wrong quickly, you will.
Excellent advice.

Believe the person he is showing you to be.

Stay sweet for as long as it takes to get copies of EVERYTHING.

Put them somewhere safe.

Can you confide in anyone?

You will save yourself money if you can bring this to a solicitor.

It will save on forensic accounts fees.

Call Womens aid for advice if you are feeling bullied.

Information is knowledge and power.

Preparing for the worst and hope for the best.

You are not alone.
We are here for you.Flowers

CayrolBaaaskin · 08/02/2022 18:29

@user1497207191 - if it’s dividends rather than employment income abs op is genuinely a shareholder, possibly legal but not in every case. The law is complex in this area. Pretending op is an employee when she does no work is absolutely illegal tax evasion.

user1497207191 · 08/02/2022 18:35

[quote CayrolBaaaskin]@user1497207191 - if it’s dividends rather than employment income abs op is genuinely a shareholder, possibly legal but not in every case. The law is complex in this area. Pretending op is an employee when she does no work is absolutely illegal tax evasion.[/quote]
Not if she’s a director, as directors can be paid for their office of director

Sleepdeprived42long · 08/02/2022 18:35

This is what happens when people get greedy and let money rule their lives.

OP this is not an equal relationship. I don’t say this often on here but I would be getting some legal advice with a view to separating.

CayrolBaaaskin · 08/02/2022 18:37

@mrsbyers - dividends are payable to shareholders. It’s irrelevant if you’re a director or not for dividends, as long as you are a shareholder.

KateTheEighth · 08/02/2022 18:38

This is what happens when you let the tax tail wag the dog

He's a dick

CayrolBaaaskin · 08/02/2022 18:40

@user1497207191 - case law or tax provision please.

GrandmasCat · 08/02/2022 23:31

@StudentLoanWoes don’t feel trapped, you are not. As long as he keeps putting money in your account your exit fund is building up (I used mine to pay for legal fees) he may get something out of it but he might need to take you to court over that if you put your foot down, and even so, going to court may end up costing him more than what he would get.

I can assure you there is a nice life out there, you may end up with less money but not having someone making you feel miserable every single day makes up for the reduced income ten fold.

I live with about 1/8 of what was “our” household income back then. I have no regrets, my life is so much better and even with the reduced income I feel richer as I can organise myself as I want, spend my money as I see fit rather than having someone just handing me a little monthly allowance as if I was a kid (among other things).

Check entitledto.co.uk, there may be support to help you raise your kid on your own if it needs be.

Best of luck.