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Original poster

DH resentful of student loan repayments

126 replies

StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:02

Will try to keep this brief. I was an English teacher until covid hit and dc was struggling g at school and on a part time timetable (still is) and subsequently diagnosed with multiple additional needs. Due to these needs childcare was very hard to find and we made a joint decision to quit my job. The issue is that I had been part time since returning after mat leave and still have a chunk of student loan.

DH has his own business and due to the amount he's earned he's split it between us (for tax purposes) and now has a bill to repay my student loan. He's making me feel really bad by keep going on about how it's really unfair that he's having to repay my debts ut there is literally nothing I can do! It is what it is, I don't have an income anymore due to dc's needs.

I appreciate we are fortunate that he's earning enough for this to be an issue but it's really upsetting. Not sure what I'm asking really, just feel really shit, like he really resents me for it Sad

OP posts:
beautifullymad · 07/02/2022 21:28

Just drop your joint dividends down so your portion is just under the repayment threshold. Your husband can then take a wage increase in his basic salary. This increases your NI contribution but can be offset by pension contributions.

It's no longer gold plated to take wages as a dividend as financial benefits have long gone. So doing it this way might stop him moaning.

Personally I'd tell him you are more that contributing to the household running and raising your children so it's a nice gesture if he could make headway into the student loan repayments.

Say to him it's helping balance your contribution as you've had to leave your job for the good of the family.

He's not seeing this as a family debt at all is he?

TheApexOfMyLife · 07/02/2022 21:28

The problem here is how he sees money.

So it’s HIS money.
It’s YOUR fault he misjudged the amount of debts/taxes.

But there is no acknowledgment at all of the sacrifices and efforts YOU have put in.

Maybe remind him that another solution is for you to go back to work full time, deal with your income (and debt repayment), let him deal with his own high taxes
BUT he is now 50/50 responsible of his child’s needs which will include homeschooling, dealing with school, appointments etc etc on the top of his normal work.

Just no he is refusing to take any responsibility in the situation AND is also refusing to value your input in running the family (maybe not directly financial but still huge).
Not good

beautifullymad · 07/02/2022 21:28

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Surely it's illegal for him to put you down as an employee for tax purposes if you're not actually working there!

Anyway, he will gain more money using this tax avoidance technique than the student loan costs so tell him that! Sheesh! If he doesn't want to pay it, take you off the bloody books.

She's not an employee, she's a share holder, hence the dividend.
BoredZelda · 07/02/2022 21:29

It doesn't matter how much you owe.
It's a flat rate % of earnings above a threshold which has to be paid.

Exactly. Seems to me some misunderstanding from the OP there.

Nocutenamesleft · 07/02/2022 21:32

@MrsTerryPratchett

I can't stand people who work every bloody angle then whinge when they can't get every benefit. They also moan when the public services aren't their absolute favourite. Even though they pay as little as possible for them.

Wankers.

This!!!

He’s spilt the money. To take home MORE money and he’s now angry that he’s got to LEGALLY pay back your student loan?

Oh blow me down. Fucking hard life for him isn’t it.

DisforDarkChocolate · 07/02/2022 21:33

If it'd not illegal then he's just stupid not to have realised this.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 07/02/2022 21:34

When it has all calmed down you need to have a proper discussion with him about financial planning and your status.

Comefromaway · 07/02/2022 21:39

@StudentLoanWoes

There is nothing illegal about it.
Yes there is, unless you are actually doing work for his business.

Dh and I ran a business together for years. HMRC had a crackdown on non working spouses being given an allocation of the profits for tax purposes.

(Reference Income Tax and Other Trading Income Act 2005)

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/02/2022 21:40

@Comefromaway

I think OP is taking dividends rather than declaring a salary for working for the company though, which changes things?

GirlOfTudor · 07/02/2022 21:44

It's not exactly an 'unexpected bill' though is it? It's common knowledge to anyone who's taken out a student loan that they will have to make repayments once they make over the minimum salary.
He planned to avoid paying the tax that he should pay and it's backfired. I really can't find any sympathy.
I bet there are tons of people who wish they could earn so much that student loan repayments were annoying them Hmm

GrandmasCat · 07/02/2022 21:47

Op, when people show you who they are believe them.

I would keep the money you are “getting” covering his back in a personal account, just to keep appearances of course.

It might become handy in the future as being this nasty already, self employed and good at playing the system you can walkout with not much if you split, even if you are married.

And whatever you do or he asks for, never ever EVER give him the money back in cash, ever. Leave a trail. My ex asked me for half of the savings in cash, when he moved out, as he couldn’t wait to cash a cheque until after the weekend. Then he claimed in court I had spent them and… they believed him, so made me pay him for the amount he had taken already.

It is also almost impossible to get a self employed/company owner to pay the right amount of child maintenance as… they put everything in the name of the company, put the other woman in the payroll and then claim they have far less income than you. So beware, you know who you are dealing with.

Good luck!

FlamingRoses · 07/02/2022 21:47

Presumably he enjoyed the benefits of your salary from your qualification before now so I’d tell him to swivel.

GirlOfTudor · 07/02/2022 21:48

Also, your husband claiming that your an employee but you do NO work for his company is fraud. And doing it to avoid taxes is tax evasion. I hope this bites you both in the butt.

Original poster
StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 21:48

@GrandmasCat

Op, when people show you who they are believe them.

I would keep the money you are “getting” covering his back in a personal account, just to keep appearances of course.

It might become handy in the future as being this nasty already, self employed and good at playing the system you can walkout with not much if you split, even if you are married.

And whatever you do or he asks for, never ever EVER give him the money back in cash, ever. Leave a trail. My ex asked me for half of the savings in cash, when he moved out, as he couldn’t wait to cash a cheque until after the weekend. Then he claimed in court I had spent them and… they believed him, so made me pay him for the amount he had taken already.

It is also almost impossible to get a self employed/company owner to pay the right amount of child maintenance as… they put everything in the name of the company, put the other woman in the payroll and then claim they have far less income than you. So beware, you know who you are dealing with.

Good luck!

I already know this, and feel trapped.
OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2022 21:57

Oh shit op. I really feel for you. Can you start taking photos etc of the actual numbers?

beautifullymad · 07/02/2022 21:57

You need to start a hidden fund, mine was in cash as it's untraceable.
Truly. I was in your position.
What's his is his, what's yours is his, and you are his too! But the children are your domain until you leave, then they are his property.
Box clever for as long as you can, photocopy everything and stash it safely. Pension, accounts, income, banking, savings. You may never need this, but if it goes wrong quickly, you will.

beautifullymad · 07/02/2022 21:58

@GirlOfTudor

Also, your husband claiming that your an employee but you do NO work for his company is fraud. And doing it to avoid taxes is tax evasion. I hope this bites you both in the butt.
Shareholders are entitled to a dividend. There is no tax evasion here, but there is control.
arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2022 22:00

You can use the time it takes him to pay off your student loan to gather evidence Wink

Hb12 · 07/02/2022 22:03

Well, he's not paying it is he. You are, from the money he has decided to pay you. Or is he admitting that he is fucking around financially?

SportsMother · 07/02/2022 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucillelarusso · 07/02/2022 22:09

Remind the idiot that you're married! It is both of your debt and both of your income

mrsbyers · 07/02/2022 22:13

It’s perfectly legal to set a spouse up as a director of a company without them doing any work and be paid dividend but the repercussions in terms of paying the student loan are tough titties

VivX · 07/02/2022 22:15

Well, re the student loan deductions - he really can't have it both ways, can he.
Tax is being saved but the student loan has to be repaid.

Plenty of H&W are in this position but have made the joint decision to suck up the loan repayments because overall it makes sense.

Yes, he's made a bit of a disappointing miscalculation but overall, as a couple, you're still ahead in the longer term and he needs to suck it up.

My sympathies to you, though, he's being unreasonable.

FFSFFSFFS · 07/02/2022 22:19

Give him an invoice for your housekeeping and childcare. That will really shock him.

DreamTheMoors · 07/02/2022 22:23

I don’t understand why your husband is whinging about a debt he knew you had when he married you — and should’ve known the very real possibility that at some point he may have to take on. (And vice-versa, naturally.) That’s just poor planning on his part and not very realistic.