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Relationships

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Original poster

DH resentful of student loan repayments

126 replies

StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:02

Will try to keep this brief. I was an English teacher until covid hit and dc was struggling g at school and on a part time timetable (still is) and subsequently diagnosed with multiple additional needs. Due to these needs childcare was very hard to find and we made a joint decision to quit my job. The issue is that I had been part time since returning after mat leave and still have a chunk of student loan.

DH has his own business and due to the amount he's earned he's split it between us (for tax purposes) and now has a bill to repay my student loan. He's making me feel really bad by keep going on about how it's really unfair that he's having to repay my debts ut there is literally nothing I can do! It is what it is, I don't have an income anymore due to dc's needs.

I appreciate we are fortunate that he's earning enough for this to be an issue but it's really upsetting. Not sure what I'm asking really, just feel really shit, like he really resents me for it

OP posts:

topcat2014 · 07/02/2022 20:44

What work do you do? Are you qualified in that trade? Are you a director? Are you a shareholder? Does Arctic Systems mean anything to you?

By diverting 25k your way he is avoiding 40% tax as well as getting two personal allowances out of the same money.

grapewine · 07/02/2022 20:45

@timeisnotaline

Ah that classic situation where man makes financial decisions and blames his wife for any consequences. I’d ask coolly is there anything else you’ve decided and would like to blame me for? It’s really helping our marriage so if there’s more you should out with it.

Do this. He's being a complete wanker. Ugh.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/02/2022 20:45

It's a % of earnings that is paid, it doesn't matter if your loan is £1000 or £1000, the monthly payments will be based on your salary - there will just be more of them the bigger the loan is.

He doesn't sound particularly clued up on finances if he's genuinely shocked at this and lashing out at you.

If he wants to be tax efficient without surprises and the business is performing well then he should be budgeting for an accountant to provide guidance tbh.

As it doesn't sound like he's doing a very good job of keeping on top of financial planning.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/02/2022 20:46

That was obviously meant to say:

It's a % of earnings that is paid, it doesn't matter if your loan is £1000 or £10,000

Regularsizedrudy · 07/02/2022 20:46

He sounds like a total cunt

Summerfun54321 · 07/02/2022 20:48

Why are there so many men talked about on MN who are massive selfish arseholes when it comes to money. You’re his wife not a business transaction.

Oblomov22 · 07/02/2022 20:51

He sounds like a catch. Not.

LethargicActress · 07/02/2022 20:54

He’s taking his anger at himself out on you and it’s not on.

No doubt he thought he was being very savvy having worked out how he could reduce his tax bill as much as possible, and now he’s annoyed that he didn’t think it through properly. Presumably he knew you had a student loan, roughly how much it was and it him who’s worked out the finances, so it’s a bit cheap of him to turn his own mistake back on you.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2022 20:55

I'm sorry for you that your husband is a complete and utter arsehole op.

DerAlteMann · 07/02/2022 20:55

@ChrissyPlummer

Well, he should’ve thought of that before “splitting it for tax purposes”. If he’d not done this, you wouldn’t have to pay anything as you have an income of zero.

This. It's not your fault that he failed to think it through. I'll bet he never consulted an accountant.

saraclara · 07/02/2022 20:58

He made the decision to do this forgot researching it properly. It was down to him to investigate the student loan situation.

He tried to avoid paying more tax than he had to. He did a shit job of it, and that's down to him, not you.

As for him having to pay more than he thought, there isn't a violin tiny enough...

saraclara · 07/02/2022 20:58

Forgot=,without

VodselForDinner · 07/02/2022 20:59

So he’s taking money away from kids like your DS?

What a prince.

blessings2022 · 07/02/2022 21:00

worlds smallest violin for your DH. What an asshole

CayrolBaaaskin · 07/02/2022 21:01

If you aren’t genuinely an employee doing work (sounds like you are not) it is absolutely illegal to do that. He has no grounds to complain about your student loan when he is trying to tax dodge.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 07/02/2022 21:04

Perhaps he should actually pay you for your labour in the family and then you can pay your own loan from your earnings.

mummykel16 · 07/02/2022 21:12

@StudentLoanWoes

I appreciate we are fortunate that he's earning enough for this to be an issue but it's really upsetting. Not sure what I'm asking really, just feel really shit, like he really resents me for it

That's life, it's part of relationships it is not your issue

cool4cats2020 · 07/02/2022 21:15

@youvegottenminuteslynn

That was obviously meant to say:

It's a % of earnings that is paid, it doesn't matter if your loan is £1000 or £10,000

Not if it's an older, mortgage style student loan. Once your income hits the threshold (about 30k) you start repaying a fixed amount/rate.

As the newer student loans are repaid PAYE, wouldn't dividends get around that being repaid?

And if op is a director of the company, then I think it's possible to draw a director's salary (PAYE) that doesn't have to be strictly renumeration for hours worked (no contract of employment necessary).

Obviously the two of them should have discussed all this before trying to minimise their tax bill.

spotcheck · 07/02/2022 21:18

Agree with @youvegottenminuteslynn
Repayments are based on income, not amount owed.

Is he taking into consideration the other sacrifices YOU are making for the family?

No? Thought not

Bonster37 · 07/02/2022 21:19

I would tell him to put business back into his own name as you know longer wish to hear about the student loan. Let him pay the higher taxes, can’t have it all his own way. He just wants to have one over on you it sounds like. Something to guilt you over.

Velvian · 07/02/2022 21:20

I think you're just going to have to really lose your shit at him, op. Remind him what you have given up to look after your son.

Enough is enough and you don't have to put up with it. Get angry, not sad.

mummykel16 · 07/02/2022 21:23

Sounds like he is just shocked op, just wait for him to stop being a tit and things will be ok.

starynight63 · 07/02/2022 21:24

Surely because he is apparently paying you a good enough wage monthly to trigger these repayments you can just use that money to pay the loan? Therefore it's your wages and your debt... unless he doesn't really pay YOU that money and he's just pissed off for being bitten in the ass there's nothing for you to feel bad about!!

SunshineOnKeith · 07/02/2022 21:24

@StudentLoanWoes

WTFUterus yes, exactly. He just annoyed that the student loan is eating into what he thought would be left after tax. I get it, it's disappointing when your calculations are wrong/an unexpected bill occurs but I'm really upset about how he's going on about it, and how unfair it is that he's repaying my debt.

Tell him he could pay his own tax or pay for childcare costs to allow you to work instead

NinaDefoe · 07/02/2022 21:25

Tell him that IF he stops dodging tax by pretending you have a job and an income NOBODY will have to pay back the student loan.

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