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Original poster

DH resentful of student loan repayments

126 replies

StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:02

Will try to keep this brief. I was an English teacher until covid hit and dc was struggling g at school and on a part time timetable (still is) and subsequently diagnosed with multiple additional needs. Due to these needs childcare was very hard to find and we made a joint decision to quit my job. The issue is that I had been part time since returning after mat leave and still have a chunk of student loan.

DH has his own business and due to the amount he's earned he's split it between us (for tax purposes) and now has a bill to repay my student loan. He's making me feel really bad by keep going on about how it's really unfair that he's having to repay my debts ut there is literally nothing I can do! It is what it is, I don't have an income anymore due to dc's needs.

I appreciate we are fortunate that he's earning enough for this to be an issue but it's really upsetting. Not sure what I'm asking really, just feel really shit, like he really resents me for it Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:19

Lampshading this is how I feel but it won't be possible until next year. Until then I'm a bit stuck Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:20

@AlDanvers

Surely he is saving far more in tax than he is paying the student loan?
Err... no. I expect over a period of time this would be the case but I still owe a lot.
OP posts:
AlDanvers · 07/02/2022 20:22

Err... no. I expect over a period of time this would be the case but I still owe a lot.

Then why doesn't he go back to the way he was doing it before?

2DogsOnMySofa · 07/02/2022 20:23

Remind him that HE also made the decision for you not to return to work and as a result you're now working part time. Tell him if he's happy to pay for childcare then you'll go back full time and can help with paying the loan off.

He can't have it all ways, built in child minder, a wife that works full time and can assist with paying off a debt.

fenellastripe · 07/02/2022 20:24

If he's your husband, why does he resent you for it?

CrunchTime22 · 07/02/2022 20:25

Well he's an arse, which of course you know already so commiserations on that front. 💐.
Student loan is basically a tax. Why didn't he just pay you the amount up to the point it triggered? Not as bright as he thinks he is, is he?

Etinoxaurus · 07/02/2022 20:25

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Motnight · 07/02/2022 20:25

Is he actually a nice man, Op?

M0RVEN · 07/02/2022 20:28

Tell him that he doesn't need to repay your student loan. He can just increase your dividends from your business and you can pay it from that .

I’m assuming that your “ salary “ is in fact dividends from shares, which of course is legal.

If by any chance it’s a limited company and you DONT own shares, you need to get him to transfer half of his shares to you .

That’s more tax efficient. And is legal - HMRC will eventually catch up with him if he’s paying you a salary of anything more than a token amount for a job you don’t do. And it must be a lot more than token if it’s triggering student loan repayments.

Because you really REALLY need to secure your own financial position. I’m afraid he’s not to be trusted.

Please tell me that you are legally married?

You ( as a family ) also need to pay into your own pension while you are a SAHM.

JenniferWooley · 07/02/2022 20:29

@StudentLoanWoes

There is nothing illegal about it.

Well technically it's knowingly reporting false and/or incorrect information to HMRC & as an FPS is a form of tax return it's fraud which is illegal.

Inspectorslack · 07/02/2022 20:29

How is he paying you if doing that is more than your student loan repayments? They’re a % if your income?

Original poster
StudentLoanWoes · 07/02/2022 20:31

@M0RVEN

Tell him that he doesn't need to repay your student loan. He can just increase your dividends from your business and you can pay it from that .

I’m assuming that your “ salary “ is in fact dividends from shares, which of course is legal.

If by any chance it’s a limited company and you DONT own shares, you need to get him to transfer half of his shares to you .

That’s more tax efficient. And is legal - HMRC will eventually catch up with him if he’s paying you a salary of anything more than a token amount for a job you don’t do. And it must be a lot more than token if it’s triggering student loan repayments.

Because you really REALLY need to secure your own financial position. I’m afraid he’s not to be trusted.

Please tell me that you are legally married?

You ( as a family ) also need to pay into your own pension while you are a SAHM.

Yes married, yes to shares and it is dividends in my name that is triggering the loan repayments. Apparently I should have war.ed him about how much I owe and what the repayment threshold was. In my defence I had no idea he would be so successful that it would be an issue. Feeling very alone right now.
OP posts:
fenellastripe · 07/02/2022 20:32

Why should you have warned him? How long have you been together?

grapewine · 07/02/2022 20:33

@Hb12

Precisely. He tried to work the system, the system worked back.
This. And he's being a dick to you about it. What a charming man Hmm
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 07/02/2022 20:35

Strewth! Exactly how much are your student load repayments a month then?

PrincessPaws · 07/02/2022 20:35

Well if he wants to dodge tax, he'll have to suck up the student loan repayment. He can't have his cake and eat it

DreamingofTimbuktu · 07/02/2022 20:37

Oh well - given the two of you are deliberately trying to avoid tax I’m glad that he’s too stupid to know how to do it properly.

RobinPenguins · 07/02/2022 20:37

Tough shit. He wants to dodge part of his tax bill he can suck up the student loan repayments.

aurynne · 07/02/2022 20:39

"Apparently I should have warned him about how much I owe"

He didn't know? You didn't discuss this before doing the business arrangements?

He is not that clever with money is he?

LuciaInTheGarden · 07/02/2022 20:40

There is a huge difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion. What the OP and her husband have done is perfectly legal and advised by financial advisers. Why would someone pay more in tax than they have to?

He is just pissed that because of the way it is split he now sees this as "his" money paying the debt as opposed to her debt when it was collected from her.

Dh just paid mine off in full. We are married, I owed money on student loans, we just lump sum paid it off so it wasn't hanging over us.

Notajogger · 07/02/2022 20:41

You need to make sure pension payments are being made for you from family money. He has shown you exactly how much of an arse he would be money-wise if the proverbial hit the fan in your relationship!
Point out to him just how much childcare would cost, particularly if there's any specialist stuff needed for your DC.

Totalwasteofpaper · 07/02/2022 20:41

@ChrissyPlummer

Well, he should’ve thought of that before “splitting it for tax purposes”. If he’d not done this, you wouldn’t have to pay anything as you have an income of zero.
yep…

It sounds like your marriage in general isn’t good and you sound afraid of him…are you?

Is he financially abusive??? I agree with shoring up your financial position within the marriage… Because if this situation happened between my DH and I I can’t see either of us being angry with each other beyond being like “oh balls… our net £ is lower than expected because of loan stoppages we need to draw down more £”

Cimone · 07/02/2022 20:41

This is stupid. You two are MARRIED. That means what he makes is yours, and what you make is his. It goes into one pot for a MARRIED COUPLE. So whether you write the check or not, the bottom line is the money is still coming from the same pot of household income. Would he prefer that you work outside the home and you find someone to come into the house and take care of your kid? The cost would triple for what he is paying for your loans. He needs to shut up and be happy. Such a selfish greedy beast.

Marmight · 07/02/2022 20:43

It doesn't matter how much you owe.
It's a flat rate % of earnings above a threshold which has to be paid.

timeisnotaline · 07/02/2022 20:44

Ah that classic situation where man makes financial decisions and blames his wife for any consequences. I’d ask coolly is there anything else you’ve decided and would like to blame me for? It’s really helping our marriage so if there’s more you should out with it.