Penis Envy

[incognitomode10]

This is an odd one, I just can't get my head around it. Bf & I are both in 40s, been together for over a year, both have DC from previous marriage/relationship.

He asked me a week ago if I had ever been with anybody with a large penis. I tried to evade to question, but he persisted, so I said yes, but actually it wasn't great.

Since then he's been cold and distant and said he needs time to "process the information" and now says that he can't get over it, so I think the relationship is over.

I don't understand what he's hoping for. That he will find a woman who hasn't been with a man with a large penis? How will he verify this? I hate how this situation is making me feel a bit - I don't know how to explain - like I've done something wrong...?!

There’s being honest and then there’s being a decent partner and making them feel good about themselves

A decent partner wouldn’t ask this in the first place, what business is it of his?

@Lanaaaa

There’s being honest and then there’s being a decent partner and making them feel good about themselves

A decent partner wouldn’t ask this in the first place, what business is it of his?

Exactly. We have a winner. Raise your standards, op.

What.. the.. fuck.

I think you might have to run op, honestly he sounds like a bellend, and a weird one at that.

"Process the information"?

What on earth else did you tell him that the other guy did with it - make shapes of animals with it like a weird balloon artist?

What a strange man

I can't imagine ever (of my own volition) asking DH if he has ever been with a woman who has a very tight vagina, and then if he said he' had, having a sulk about and thinking I couldn't be with him any more 🤣 it's laughable! Men pick some very, very strange battles.

Never ask a question if you aren't prepared for an honest answer!

Or just don't ask stupid questions full stop, actually.

Can’t stop picturing you having sex with this person?!

Tell him to grow up, you both knew the other wasn’t a virgin so get over it.

Oh that's a bit weird.

Sometimes the first red flag is the jealousy over previous relationships (and previous penises).

I would tell him they you need some time to process his reaction to you having sex in the past. And then I would be dumping. Very very quickly.

Men are sooo weird, they want to hear how amazing and majestic and wonderful their penis is, what a sight to behold, nothing will ever compare.

Someone should tell them we can get a great dildo or vibrator and we’re actually with them for a variety of reasons and their dick is pretty low on the list.

He is behaving like a pathetic immature kid, so tell him to grow up or piss off.

My ex had a similar reaction but stupidly I spent a long time convincing him there was nothing wrong with him (there actually wasn't) and I married him turns out that was a red flag i should have heeded years of justifying decisions I made before we ever met it was ridiculous still is now looking back wtf did I see in him

Ridiculous. He has issues.

My ex asked me this once. I was honest. My ex husband had a huge dick!! And it WAS great. I've had sex since with men on the other end of the spectrum and been disappointed. Its life. Bigger generally does feel better. Men need to get over it. I was honest with my ex and he hated it. They shouldn't ask!!!!

“Have you ever been with a man with a large penis?
“Never been with a man with as massive a penis as yours, my big-dicked darling.”
Massive eye roll. 🙄

I can’t decide if he’s got another woman or if he’s just a perv. Besides - it’s not the size of the waves, it’s the motion of the ocean.

In any case, he’s looking for excuses - this is a very odd one, to be sure. And cowardly.

He needs a slap. He asked a question then didn’t like the answer.

It’s really quite odd for him to ask and no be so obsessed with it.
It’d be really off putting for me.

Ugh, sorry OP. What a weirdo. He’s obviously got psychological issues.

How embarrassing for him, fishing for compliments then having a strop.

Do not feel bad! This is his problem, not yours.

The last thing I think of is a my ex's penises. I never think about them. And in my experience great sex isn't about penis size and the only time I've had an issue was when it was too big (long). And another thing is flaccid size sometimes bears no correlation to erected size so some men may feel paranoid if they see other men in changing rooms or toilets.

He shouldn't have asked the question if he didn't want to know the answer. You shouldn't have to defend answering his question especially if he wouldn't let it lie. It's a massive red flag to me and if he finishes with you over it then tbh I think he's done you a favour.

Oh come on - when we’re above a certain age and haven’t always been in long-term relationships, it’s to be expected that we’ve seen a few. And if he’s not particularly big, someone was going to be bigger. So answering ‘no’ wouldn’t have been convincing anyway.

He’s behaving like a muppet. Sorry but what on earth does he ‘need to process’?!

@ABitOfAShitShow

Obviously needs to process that his penis isn’t actually the biggest in the world poor guy.

You should have told him he was the biggest dick you've ever had. WTF business is it of his who you've previously had sex with or what their dimensions were? Off he trots and he can "process" why he's single again on the way.

Sounds like hes picked a ridiculous argument to end the relationship.

Tell him he might not have the biggest dick but is definitely the biggest dick you’ve ever met.

Why bring it up now when you have been together for over a year? There's definitely been a trigger and I'd be suspicious of why he's asking.

@GrazingSheep

Life was simpler years ago ... That’s all

And the penis’s were bigger sorry couldn’t help it

I would have said
“ well I’ve had bigger and smaller your a bit of an In betweener