I posted a picture of us and he deleted it

[Nickyicky]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. There were some issues around exclusivity when we first got together as I caught him texting other girls. He argued we weren’t together properly then. Since then there’s always been an insecurity I suppose but we are in a committed relationship now.

Anyway we don’t post each other on our social media, in fact I don’t have him on it as he said it would cause arguments and he doesn’t need the headache. Today we were messing about and he had my phone and took a picture of me and posted it on my Instagram, it was ugly so we laughed and then I deleted it. I then had his phone and the last picture in his camera roll is of us, I posted it with a ❤️. Maybe it was my insecurities? I wanted to see what he did, if he did it on mine I wouldn’t really care. Anyway he got his phone back and deleted it immediately. I asked him why he said because he didn’t post it. I’m right in thinking something strange is going on here right, I want to ask him but at the same time I don’t want “to cause arguments”

He’s also been really snappy with me and everything I’m doing is wrong currently so it already feels a bit weird

I don’t know, we’ve been so good recently so I suppose I’ve just been a bit confused why he’s suddenly changed. He says it’s me who has an attitude problem but we haven’t seen each other for two weeks due to work so I was so excited to see him yesterday. For him to just be so weird. I can’t work out whether I’m being paranoid and it’s me, or it’s him. I even cooked him dinner and he ate it in a separate room

I would never ever ever be in a relationship with a man who wouldn’t have me as his friend on social media. Get rid immediately.

Fuck that, relationships shouldn't be so difficult

Very strange

This doesn’t sound like a healthy, mature relationship overall, but using someone else’s phone to post to their social media is not acceptable behaviour either, and you admit you were deliberately testing him. Your own behaviour here isn’t great.

He's talking to other women on SM and wants to present himself as single.

@Nickyicky

I don’t know, we’ve been so good recently so I suppose I’ve just been a bit confused why he’s suddenly changed. He says it’s me who has an attitude problem but we haven’t seen each other for two weeks due to work so I was so excited to see him yesterday. For him to just be so weird. I can’t work out whether I’m being paranoid and it’s me, or it’s him. I even cooked him dinner and he ate it in a separate room

Wow! So he is incredibly immature and mean then? OP, there are plenty of well balanced, stable, kind men out there who care about your feelings and if they are upset by you will talk to you until it’s resolved. Go and find one of them. Take it from me, a woman who wasted many tears and years on useless men!

It's not you, it's him. He's keeping you at arm's length and keeping his options open online. Fuck that...

Over a year and don't have each other on SM, sounds strange to me

Why not?

To find out what whether he talks to other woman.

I don’t know, we’ve been so good recently so I suppose I’ve just been a bit confused why he’s suddenly changed.

But it hasn't been good from the start, when he was messaging other women resulting in 'Since then there’s always been an insecurity' and now you're always on edge around him feeling you've done something wrong and it's only a year in! It really shouldn't be so hard.

That aside, I adore my partner but if he posted something on my Instagram page rather than his own, without my permission then I would be pissed off and wonder why he felt entitled to do that. So what you did was wrong in my opinion, but the bigger picture is more important - this isn't a healthy, happy and equal relationship.

You made him dinner and he ate in in a separate room like a teenager sulking.

You both need to grow up really and accept that this relationship isn't actually a healthy one and it's run its course.

It’s really weird that you’d stalk someone off the back of an anonymous thread on mumsnet.

His reaction when a random woman adds him and throws his a couple likes will say a lot about whether OPs worries are founded or not.

Him*

"Anyway we don’t post each other on our social media, in fact I don’t have him on it as he said it would cause arguments and he doesn’t need the headache"
Weird as hell.

I personally think that’s weird and really stalkerish.

To be fair it was because he posted an ugly picture of me first, on my social media, he started it first, then I had his phone and just posted the picture of us. I agree it’s immature of me and I wanted to see his reaction

You deleted his post on your social media.
He deleted your post on his social media.
Can't see the problem with what he did here.
The rest though is where the problem lies. Doesn't look like this relationship has any life left in it tbh.

I don’t want to set him up with people off the internet or anything, I feel like once you do that you cross the line. I was on his phone and I didn’t search it or anything because I feel like once you do that, it’s over. But it pretty much is here I suppose

It’s very odd, like he’s trying to keep you a secret. I’d be fed up.

The more I think, the more i’m sure he does. He’s still at my house now and we’re sat in silence