Partner said he hates me twice in two weeks…

[theroux21]

Twice in the past two weeks my partner has told me he hates me. We have been together for 5 years and have one child together.

Last week was during a heated row. He apologised later in the day and we’ve been fine since. It had still been playing on my mind despite knowing it was just out of anger. He said it again today when I was taking too long to finish something so he could get in shower. I’ve not spoken to him since.

Both times I was really hurt. No matter how angry I’ve gotten with him before, I’ve never told him that I hate him.

But im not sure if I’m overreacting or just being too sensitive. I’m really not sure how to respond or where to go from here. Any advice please?

This is not something op needs to bring up for discussion ffs. I don't care how angry or stressed you are, there are things you don't ever say if you love someone. And certainly not a second time! It's obvious it was deliberately to hurt op. That's not someone you can have a rational discussion about empathy with. Because he doesn't respect op and you cant talk respect into anyone.

He is mean and views op with contempt. It's not up to op to talk this though. It's up to her to get ad fat away from the prick ad possible.

That would be the end for me. Agree with pp that the second time was deliberate, and said with the absolute intention of hurting you deeply.

The spite behind that would kill the relationship for me.

The rage and cruelty within him, to say that to you.

Believe him. Don’t forgive. Don’t roll over and pretend it isn’t the assault on your emotions that it is.

He sounds a bit deranged. It’s unusual for an adult to utter that. Children usually say “I hate you” and it’s very strange and deliberate of an adult - don’t minimise this.

How are you doing OP?

it will happen more and more often, after a while you won't be so shocked so he will up the ante. this is how abuse starts.

Then I would wonder if he is involved with someone else. That is usually when a partner starts to be abusive and not care about your feelings anymore.

Me and dp have had about 3 or 4 proper humdinging rows in the 8 years together. We've called each other some nasty things in the heat of the moment. We have never said we hate each other though . Hes called me a cunt , and I've called it him back. We have both sincerely apologised to each other afterwards too but it would be the end for me if he ever said he hated me. .

That should be the end of it.
Tell him goodbye.

What’s he doing with someone he hates?

That makes him nothing more or less than a bit pathetic, really.

It’d be over for me, not just because you cannot be in a relationship with someone you hate, but because I’d have lost all respect for him for being such a pathetic, weak wet lettuce.

Listen to him. Don't excuse this treatment , he's telling you the truth

Hate is such a strong word and I don’t believe someone would say it twice in two weeks unless there was some truth in it, so I think for me it would be the end. How does he treat you day to day normally?

Believe what he's saying because it's the truth. He has nothing but contempt for you. Run for your fucking life, this relationship is over.

He’s told you he hates you not once but twice..
I think you should listen and act on it