Is it ever ok to track your partner's phone?

[spintailondonkey]

I did this when I suspected my ex. In my case, although the tracking threw up one suspicious tracing, and another where the phone appeared to be switched off when he went to a particular area, the tracking didn't actually help me. It was later, different evidence which emerged which confirmed my suspicions.

Some people will say that it is never ok to track someone, but what if you have really strong suspicions and you have asked your partner but they are not forthcoming about admission?

As others have said, I don’t have find my iPhone or life 360. I wouldn’t be with someone who wanted to have the ability to track me 24/7.

I do sometimes share location with for eg DD on WhatsApp and she me if we are meeting up and it’s a new place or confusing to get to. But 24/7 would be a no from me.

I have full access to DH’s phone, although he doesn’t to mine. I’m not sure tracking works because it easy to pause if you want to.

He had an affair many years ago and I discovered it by checking his phone. To help rebuild the trust he gave me full access forever. It helped both of us.

Adult DCs no. I do still feel bad about checking DDs location once (she was 21 and we checked it to see where she had been) but it was necessary at the time.

We have Life 360, no trust issues, just have it as a safety thing if one of us out late in a taxi or something.

I can’t imagine having something like Life360. We use ‘share location’ in certain situations but not a permanent setup

No, it's never okay.

I wouldn't know how to.
It might be helpful though since he can never find it.
Obviously missing the point there!
For safety reasons, with consent, then yes.
Otherwise I can understand why someone might feel its their only answer.

I would be furious if anyone did this without my permission. It would be a divorce issue.

One of my teens prefers having findmy on instead of having to worry about texting and calling me with where she is/when she’ll be in or where she’s going, or worrying she’s missed calls or texts.

“I was at milly’s house mum, why didn’t you check my phone?”

The other one is younger and always has her bloody phone on silent so if I need to get in contact I have to go on to icloud and beep it so she picks it up.

With family sharing I don’t need their icloud logins to beep the phones- they’re always misplacing them!

Me, DH and 2 grown up kids have each other on Find My Friend

It started off as a bit of novelty fun when we all ended up with I phones at the same time and has just stuck. No other issues. Sometimes my 22 year old son turns his off, for reasons unknown but I don’t ask.

DP and I can both see eachother’s location on find my Iphone. I once has to use it to track him when he was on a work night out to phone a taxi for him, he wasn’t in the local area. Never felt any need to track his location since.

Some scary responses on here. You don’t need to check when your dh has left work or your dc have left school. Surely they’d come home at the usual time and if not you can just ring them?? Find my phone apps are creepy and controlling.

@AnyFucker

Me, DH and 2 grown up kids have each other on Find My Friend

It started off as a bit of novelty fun when we all ended up with I phones at the same time and has just stuck. No other issues. Sometimes my 22 year old son turns his off, for reasons unknown but I don’t ask.

“Novelty fun”? Maybe for you. Why do you feel the need to check the location of your dh and adult dc? I don’t blame your ds for turning off his location, especially as you’ve admitted to spying on him.

We both have trackers as do the kids.
We both travel alot for work so it's for personal safety and convenience.

And it lets our kids know where we are.

It's probably necessary these days.

I probably wouldn't pay much attention to it unless needed the location to pick someone up, if someone is really late, or the worst if someone goes missing.

especially as you’ve admitted to spying on him

Are you fond of drama in your life ?

I'd have no problem tracking my dh and no problem with him tracking me. Why would I not want him to know where I am? or be offended that he's wondering where I am? I've never tracked anyone or been tracked but I'd have no problem with it. If my OH was worried I was cheating then I'd have no problem checking where I was and I'd do the same. If you're not doing anything wrong then you haven't got anything to worry about IMO.

how do you even do it lol?

Without consent?

The only time it is ok is if you suspect something criminal otherwise no. Think of it this way. You are suspicious, track someones phone, find out that they are up to nothing at all (which can happen) THEN They find out...definite deal breaker if it happened to me.

As for people over using Find My Iphone or similar features, that's also dangerously close to control/abuse. Where is the privacy line? I would hate to think my movements were being tracked, or able to be tracked 24 hours a day and I'm doing absolutely nothing suspicious!

Yes, both DH and I use "find my iPhone". I use it to track DH when he's out cycling after he had a nasty accident and all I could tell 999 was that he was in Longleat woods. Somewhere. An area of nearly 620 acres. He's also gotten what3words.

I don't sit and watch it, but I can check every now and then and make sure the dot is moving or see that he's back in the car, then I get the kettle on.

Honestly the amount I lose my phone I'm glad my husband has the FjndMy app on 😂. Don't see any problem as long as you both agree x

My ex and I used to when we had a young baby, just to see how long until the other would be home to take over with the kids! We had no fears of one another cheating. I have a different partner now, no children together and I cannot imagine us doing it. There would be no reason. So perhaps it's different in certain circumstances.

Oh - I have it with my dd now, she is 11. I like to check it if she seems later walking home from school.

I’m baffled by the amount of “it’s so I know what time to put the dinner on” type responses. Using a tracker for that is akin to using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, in my view. Surely the other person can text you when they’re leaving work or en route and you can have a reasonable estimate of their arrival time based on that. Nobody needs dinner served up the very minute they walk through the door, they can wait if it’s not ready. I suspect it’s actually a flimsy excuse for justifying checking up on someone, however.

@sammylady37

I’m baffled by the amount of “it’s so I know what time to put the dinner on” type responses. Using a tracker for that is akin to using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, in my view. Surely the other person can text you when they’re leaving work or en route and you can have a reasonable estimate of their arrival time based on that. Nobody needs dinner served up the very minute they walk through the door, they can wait if it’s not ready. I suspect it’s actually a flimsy excuse for justifying checking up on someone, however.

My husband never remembers to text me when he is leaving and obviously once he is driving, he can't text me, so I have no idea how close or far he is. Even if he did text me when leaving, the traffic is very variable.

I do need to know what time he will be home as we eat dinner together and then I go out to work or to run a youth club in the evening so I need to let them know if I will be late if he is running late. (Can't leave any earlier as the kids can't be left alone)