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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone have a soulmate DH or DP ?

102 replies

flashy44 · 17/01/2022 21:30

We hear so many utter heart breaking and gut wrenching stories on here of DH and DP being utter pricks and lying cheating selfish bastards,i have been wondering if anyone has the most wonderful DH or DP who puts them first and is their soulmate and what makes them wonderful in your eyes

OP posts:
user1019273703 · 18/01/2022 19:34

Yes. After an awful marriage and controlling narcissist ex husband I am happy to say I have found my sole mate. He is great with my daughter too and they are best friends. Could not ask for more! Without sounding too soppy!!

loveliesbleeding1 · 18/01/2022 20:16

I love my Husband and I have since I was 16 and he was 19,I’m now 46 and I genuinely think we were made for each other.
We have been through bereavement,raised 3 children together and he has always been there for me,he’s the first person I want to see or speak to in the morning and I am dreading going first because I can’t imagine a day without him.(though I won’t miss the stinky sports socks) 😂

buntybanana · 18/01/2022 20:20

Yes. My husband is kind, calm, strong, absolutely gorgeous and shows his love for me everyday. I'm very lucky. It's such a refreshing feeling to be with someone so emotionally healthy after toxic relationships in the past (both romantic & non). He genuinely taught me how to love.

alwayswrighty · 18/01/2022 20:38

I've loved my husband since I was 17. We split at 20, only to get back together at 40. Marry and here we still are.

Soul mates is not the right word. We just get each other and the marriage is easy.

Wednesdayafternoon · 18/01/2022 21:29

I honestly thought my husband was my yang. We had the kid of relationship where we could look at each other stay silent but still talk. I felt safe, he was home.

He walked out On me when I was 5 months pregnant and put me through hell.

Safe to say that ship has well and truly sailed.

The way I look at it that even good relationships can come to an end. The end doesn't always reflect the who journey.

I'd never EVER get back with my ex husband, but I love the memories I have.

ravenmum · 19/01/2022 08:40

@Wednesdayafternoon

I honestly thought my husband was my yang. We had the kid of relationship where we could look at each other stay silent but still talk. I felt safe, he was home.

He walked out On me when I was 5 months pregnant and put me through hell.

Safe to say that ship has well and truly sailed.

The way I look at it that even good relationships can come to an end. The end doesn't always reflect the who journey.

I'd never EVER get back with my ex husband, but I love the memories I have.

Well said!
WineThenMisletoe · 19/01/2022 10:29

Together 40 years since teenagers and he is my everything. He is the calm at the centre of any storm that comes our way. He is the first port of call for our children (now with their own families) and he just seems to make all our worries and fears go away. My elderly parents adore him and honestly their faces light up each time they see him. I have no idea how he does it but life is so wonderful and I don't think I could ever express how much we all love him.

Hbh17 · 19/01/2022 10:34

There is no such thing as a "soulmate", no matter how happily married a couple may be. It is pure chance who we meet in life, so let's not pass on this unrealistic, fairy tale narrative to young people.

CharSiu · 19/01/2022 10:37

DS says we are like a pair of old slippers Dad is the left and Mum is the right. We have been together 25 years this September. I was not bothered about marriage or dc at all and wasn’t looking. We married within 18 months and knowing he was the right person actually scared me at the time.

IWannaQuitTheGym · 19/01/2022 10:45

Thank you for this thread, I really needed to read it. I'm just about to end my marriage and I'm really scared that I've left it too late to be happy with anyone else and that no one will be interested in a single mum in her mid 30s, or all the good ones are already taken. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

Juniper68 · 19/01/2022 10:46

@IWannaQuitTheGym

Thank you for this thread, I really needed to read it. I'm just about to end my marriage and I'm really scared that I've left it too late to be happy with anyone else and that no one will be interested in a single mum in her mid 30s, or all the good ones are already taken. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
I was 40 when I met 2nd dh. Mam was late 50s when she met hers.
19Bears · 19/01/2022 11:45

Ooo, you beat me to it, @IWannaQuitTheGym I was just about to say I love these threads, as a lesson in what I should expect / hope for in a relationship, and it shines a massive light on what is wrong with the one I'm in. I'm preparing to end my marriage too, mid 40s and scared, but just look at what is out there!!! Real love is possible! I so hope I manage to find what all of you hear already have Flowers

Sexnotgender · 19/01/2022 11:47

@IWannaQuitTheGym

Thank you for this thread, I really needed to read it. I'm just about to end my marriage and I'm really scared that I've left it too late to be happy with anyone else and that no one will be interested in a single mum in her mid 30s, or all the good ones are already taken. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
I was a single mum in my 30s. Met my lovely husband when I was 34. He’s definitely a keeper.
MrMrsJones · 19/01/2022 11:54

@LowlyTheWorm

Yes. I am truly thankful every single day that we met and he married me. Second husband and it’s like the polar opposite of my first marriage in terms of being supported and cherished and appreciated. We are a team and best friends and he is fantastic in bed. I am sooooo lucky. But I know it.
This, I have found the same
gelatodipistacchio · 19/01/2022 12:06

I hope that someday I can find this

samsalmon · 19/01/2022 12:07

Mine definitely is, doesn’t stop him being an utter arse on a regular basis but he was always going to be the one.

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 19/01/2022 12:12

I thought I found mine but things changed. We are still friends even though he betrayed my trust i forgave him. We are not together now. It has been a massive learning curve for me to learn to trust myself and realise I am complete without needing anybody else. X

tigerbear · 19/01/2022 14:11

@IWannaQuitTheGym don’t worry.
I was 40 and a single mum when I met DH, and definitely felt the same as you.
There are amazing men out there!

WhenwillIlearntoadult · 19/01/2022 16:00

@Crystalvas Thank you!

HeyUpits2022 · 19/01/2022 17:15

My DH is my absolute best friend, aside from our DD there is no one I'd rather spend time with.

I love the bones of him. I mean, obviously there are days when he gets seriously on my nerves, but for the most part, he's a champ.

He's definitely a good 'un. He doesn't have a bad bone in his body.

AliceMcK · 19/01/2022 17:36

Not sure about soul mate. My DH and I have had some rough patches, neither of us are perfect and I’m sure there are still arguments to come in the future but we are definitely perfect for each other as we understand an accept each other, faults an all.

flashy44 · 20/01/2022 16:36

Its so good to hear that at least some of us are very happy in their relationships,and also what good loving relationships look like.For those who have become single for whatever reason we have been given hope that there might be someone out there for us worthy of our love ,and not be afraid to look whatever age you are..

OP posts:
caulkheaded · 20/01/2022 16:44

DH is pretty good. We were both older when we got married and that made a difference, plus a friend said “we knock each other’s edges off a bit” - as in together we are a good team. I think is because we massively respect each other and approach a situation from very different perspectives but have the same values behind it.

We’d been friends for years and I always said I didn’t want to get married, but if I did it would be to him. Neither of us were that bothered about dating but we knew when we were together we brought out the best in each of us.

totallyoutnumbered · 20/01/2022 19:29

@IWannaQuitTheGym

Thank you for this thread, I really needed to read it. I'm just about to end my marriage and I'm really scared that I've left it too late to be happy with anyone else and that no one will be interested in a single mum in her mid 30s, or all the good ones are already taken. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
Most definitely time! I met my best mate and lover in one at 43 with 2 children 🙌🏻
babasaclover · 24/01/2022 22:04

Great thread