My partner is handsy

[mumsy23baby]

I'm 32 and have been with my partner for nearly 6 years. He's not committing to marriage which is a problem for me.
Tonight we went to my friends birthday and he was very handsy (touchy feely) with all of my friends. He even told my friend that her leather trousers looked very sexy and she did too. He is so over familiar with people and gets their numbers all the time and text people in a friendly way and not to be flirty but it really annoys me. There seem to be no boundaries. Every time I say it annoys me he tell me I'm insecure and jealous. I'm nearing ending this relationship. Thoughts?

On the subject of what her friends think, it's worth noting that since he is clearly a manipulative gaslighting sort, he might also be one of those people that is magnetic in social situations and just seems to get away with things he shouldn't.

Equally many people don't want to rock the boat, so most of the women might be thinking what a gross pig he is, but no one wants to be the first to say it because they believe everyone else sees him as magnetic and charming. Once one speaks up, the floodgates often open and it turns out that everyone sees through him but just put up with it for the sake of group harmony.

Why are you with this knobhead? Get rid.

@Planesmistakenforstars

On the subject of what her friends think, it's worth noting that since he is clearly a manipulative gaslighting sort, he might also be one of those people that is magnetic in social situations and just seems to get away with things he shouldn't.

Equally many people don't want to rock the boat, so most of the women might be thinking what a gross pig he is, but no one wants to be the first to say it because they believe everyone else sees him as magnetic and charming. Once one speaks up, the floodgates often open and it turns out that everyone sees through him but just put up with it for the sake of group harmony.

This. There is nothing magnetic or charming about being told you look sexy by a friends partner. Its excruciating. As for the touching, there's another name for that too

He’s a pervy creep who doesn’t respect you. Show him the door / kick him out.

He's flirting with your friends in plain sight. Horrible behaviour

If my partner said that to my friend I would end it. How embarrassing just get out

Every time I say it annoys me he tell me I'm insecure

There is very little chance IMHO that you will ever convince him to change so the question is ' can you live with this / do you want to live like this' ?

How would you feel about rolling your eyes and smiling indulgently when he acts up like this?

Yeah, thought not.

Sorry.

I've known quite a few men whose heads were turned by the partner's friends being genuinely friendly with the man their friend was currently 'with'.

Completely misunderstood their behaviour, thought they were all attracted to him.

Very, very surprised and even cross to discover they had just been being friendly and instead of continuing to tolerate him, gladly dumped him from their friendship circle as soon as he broke up with their friend.

Doesn't make it any better.

Why would you want to marry someone like this?

Turns out that Jack Nicholson was a nasty piece of work to be with.

Angelica Houston loved him, but he was a controlling, nasty man who routinely humiliated her.

I like a few of his movies, but can't look at him now.
Leo is a creep too.

@billy1966

I actually suspect Leo is gay and the succession of women are his beards. Apparently it’s quite well known in Hollywood. There’s a man he hangs out with a lot and has done for years ago is supposedly his long term partner

Every time I say it annoys me he tell me I'm insecure

Do youbever do what he does with other men?

Would he be cool with it if you did or would he be " insecure" too?

But there's no harm in it at all, right?

So there'd be no reason you couldn't act the same, right?

[quote Justheretoaskaquestion91]@billy1966

I actually suspect Leo is gay and the succession of women are his beards. Apparently it’s quite well known in Hollywood. There’s a man he hangs out with a lot and has done for years ago is supposedly his long term partner[/quote]
Well that makes sense! Thanks.

I actually hope it's true, however awful it is that he feels he has to do that.

Far better than being a sleaze!

Eventually your friends may stop socialising with you because he is so sleazy. I don't speak to my DM's partner of 20 years because of his inappropriate behaviour. He has put his hand on my thigh, and once he ruined my daughter's party by sleazing over the entertainer. He used to go round saying my best friend fancied him. He friended my other mate on FB and used to post slightly suggestive replies to her posts. We were in our 20s/30s and he was 50s/60s.

It has all but destroyed my relationship with my mum, too, as she doesn't seem to give a shit about her partners behaviour. I confided in my aunt overseas about him touching my thigh and she said he touched her too, years ago when her husband (my mum's twin) was still alive.

Get rid of him, he won't change and he'll be doing it far more than you even know.

What is the compulsion with these men? I think they like to see women squirm?

It's totally immaterial why he does what he does. You don't like it sufficiently that you're contemplating ending it. He's told you he's not going to change his behaviour.
Your decision is to either stay with someone whose behaviour constantly upsets and annoys you and who you will eventually dread going out with because of said behaviour. Or leave.

Hope OP had dumped this piece of dogshit.

Just imagine you do stay together and have children. Imagine those children are teenagers. Then just imagine him leering and pawing at your teenage daughter's friends and any girl your teenage son might be going out with. Pathetic isn't it. I can't understand why none of your friends haven't slapped his face or called him a grubby pest.