SS

[SkySmiler]

I have been involved with SS for some time due to my dc behavioral problems, a new social worker has been assigned to submit a report and is insisting his father must see it - this man held me captive with a knife to my throat and beat me badly, he's not even got PR as not named on BC as wouldn't come to register dc birth with me.

He has severe anger issues and Im absolutely terrified of him, can SS do this? I have explained how scared I am of him but this social worker insists he has the right to know, no other social worker has said this, I'm terrified.

Speak to her manager immediately

That is not ok at all and he absolutely does not need to see it. I imagine you feel very shaken by this. I would follow it up the food chain to manager etc. Get DV Services or women's aid involved if you need to.

Apparently her manager is in agreement, I explained that he doesn't have PR and she said that changes the situation, I sent her copy of dc BC and she came back the next day saying no we are still sending him the report as he is 'acknowledged' as dc father

I'm very shaken, cant eat or sleep, constantly tearful, I should add I approached them and asked for their support as dc behavioral issues are worsening, I simply cannot believe it

Thank you for your quick responses ladies x

Are they under a CP plan?

The dad absolutely does not need to see the report and given that he does not have PR and is not named on the birth certificate there is no legal obligation from SS to include him.

Id go to the police.

They absolutely have discretion to decide not to share reports with abusive parents even when they have PR. Put in a complaint immediately.

@coodawoodashooda

Id go to the police.

That won't do anything

They do and they know the history and are still insisting - I cannot understand this woman, everyone who I have dealt withbin SS has been lovely, this woman is exactly what gives them a bad name, I have cried and told her v clearly how terrified I am for my safety and she suggested calling the police if anything happens- yeah might be a bit difficult to talk when I'm lying on floor with a broken jaw

I have contacted the police and they have placed a marker on my home, they were great actually and are going to speak to her, this will in no way benefit mine or dc life to have him involved, and SS are supposed to help qnd support families, I despair I really do

I know but they will have to record your concern.

No CP

@SkySmiler

No CP

Your involvement is voluntary. You need to escalate this ASAP.

Contact your MP. You are entitled to feel safe.

I have involvement with ss (someone made a malicious report about me but case was closed eventually) and they never contacted the kids father even though he is on the bc but absent so does sound off

Contact your local councillor first. I hope you get this sorted op.

That’s very disappointing. My children’s schools chose not to send stuff to their father and he is on their birth certificates.

Have you spoken to the manger or has the sw just told you she has?

No not spoken to manager

@SkySmiler

No not spoken to manager

I think the mp advice was good.

Your child isn't under a plan if any description so you involvement is voluntary. I'd be speaking to her manager, and a solicitor.

I'd also withdraw any further communication with this Individual and insist on a different sw.

I would write to your MP highlighting the previous assault, making the point that SS can use discretion if they wish but are denying thiis.

I would write a letter to SS and send to the manager by recorded post. This should be marked formal complaint and ask that a manager review urgently as safeguarding risk for your family. This needs to highlight the domestic violence background, the risk communication would pose for your family and provide all legal/ other documents to defend yourself. I would not accept phone calls about this and insist everything is by email or post in case you need to complain further to another agency. Additionally, request a change of social worker. Follow the local authority internal complaints procedure as the first step to resolve this. If that does not solve this, try the Local Government Ombudsman and Regulation authority for social workers covering your area.

I had the same when my DD was having trouble in her teens (pre autism diagnosis). I spoke to a solicitor who stepped in and threated SS with court for endangering me and DD if they pursued this line. They never mentioned him again.

Thank u all so much for the sound advice, feeling much more positive now

What’s your fear about sharing the report, eg is it that the content might inflame your ex, or that he might find out where you live, or just that it’ll rattle his cage and remind him to abuse you a bit more. If you can articulate what it is about the report and why it represents a safety concern you’ll get further.

Legally he has no right to the report and social work could withhold it - what’s their reason for sharing it beyond “he’s the father”. Does your son have any trauma type support - very often in young people who have experienced/witnessed domestic abuse their behaviour struggles due to the trauma they’ve had. What interventions are social work talking about?