Hey - I’m feeling very shitty and would appreciate some kindness and opinions please. Sorry for the long post.
I’m pregnant with baby number 3. Usually I am very slim but in pregnancy I seem to gain a lot of weight no matter what I do. I work hard to lose it in between. This baby was a bit of a surprise so the weight and changes to my body feel sprung upon me somewhat. I am delighted as we had planned a third, it’s just sooner than expected. Condom failure (in case anybody asks).
Anyway, DH has form for having lied during first pregnancy and flirted/gone out for drinks with a female colleague a few times. We recovered but I’m still quite sensitive/vulnerable during pregnancy. I used his Instagram 2 nights ago as my phone was on charge and wanted to search for a friend of mine (this is no big deal; we often use one another’s phone if closer). His search bar list was basically full of bikini clad, half naked women. I asked him about it later (by which point the search bar had been deleted) and after initially pretending he didn’t know what I meant, he said sometimes he sees these women on his meme pages and absentmindedly clicks on them. Nothing more to it. Just likes to look at them.
The trouble is it has really really made me feel like shit. That he wants to look at these women. We never have sex now as he’s “very tired” or one or both of us have had colds blah blah I’m feeling very, very unattractive, especially now. I don’t want to be naked in front of him now as I feel like he’s searching for something else, wants to see all these nice, fit bodies.
I’m just a bit sad really. I know it’s pathetic and I’m sure I’m being an insecure loser but it’s really got me down.