New to dating.. he's 5 years younger, worried!

[Namechanged1001]

Hi all. For context Ive recently (4months) split from my husband of 10 years, together for 16. I'm 34. Have 3 kids. Thought I'd try fb dating and have met a lovely guy who seems to tick all the boxes. Apart from being 29! We've met and got on great. Really connected and he says the same. He knows about my children and says it doesn't faze him. I've told him about my abusive ex. Doesn't faze him. I've warned him my kids come first and that he will always come second. And it doesn't faze him! In fact nothing seems to. He says we can take it slow, doesn't want his own kids (would be a deal breaker for me)

So why am I so worried!! It this normal to be anxious about dating in general and the other person or am I just too new to a this! or am I seeing things that are bound to happen?

Help please!

Thanks guys. I have absolutely no intention of him meeting my kids for a long long time if this goes anywhere.
I suppose I'm wondering whether these are natural anxieties regarding dating and I'd find them with anyone or whether they are specifically about him. I have little to no experience of dating due to meeting my ex so young so I have nothing to compare it too.

I started looking at dating because I feel that I want something for myself as opposed to being a mum, daughter, work colleague and friend all the time. I want some excitement and something new but maybe I should be looking at a hobby or something instead?
It would be a shame because I do like him alot but reading the replies I wonder if I'm doing it too soon now.

I haven't heard of the freedom program. I'll pop now

Seriously OP, do not think about dating yet. When my 25 year marriage ended I was craving to be normal, craving to be loved and in a relationship.......I started seeing someone three months after and lovely as he was, it was a complete disaster because it was just too soon. Take time for you, heal yourself, find peace within yourself and do not look for someone else to make you happy or complete you. YOU are enough for you.

I met my now DH back in 1995 - he was 22 and I was 30! I even ended a two year relationship to be with him - he was so convinced we were meant to be together.

We've now been married for 20 years and have two teenage DCs. No regrets

I met my DH when I was 31 and he was only 25! We’ve been together for 20 years and still very much in love with a beautiful teenage DD.

I honestly don't think the age gap would be a deal breaker for me. 5 years isn't massive and I don't understand how it would mean you don't have anything in common (as you've said you're worried about).

However, the big red flag for me, is that he's 29, doesn't want kids but isn't fazed by you having 3 of your own.

To me a 29 year old male who doesn't want kids, typically wants the freedom that comes with being childless. Therefore, I'd question the motives of a man wanting a committed relationship with someone with 3 kids? Surely his holidays, spontaneity, care free life would change if he was to have a serious long term partner whose life revolves around 3 kids?

Or is there another reason he doesn't want children of his own?

I ask as a single mum who has recently been dating. My criteria is that i only date other dads as I don't want any more of my own:

• If I met a childless man who did want kids, it would be a dealbreaker as I can't have more
• if I met a childless man who didn't want kids, it would be dealbreaker (for long term anyway) as our lifestyles wouldn't be compatible

Maybe he's okay with the situation as he doesn't see it as a long term serious relationship - what makes you so sure he does?

If you're both happy with casual/fwb then none of this would be an issue, so go for it!!

Are you me?

Happily married for nearly 20 years now.