Embarrassing mistake with my name

[TheIdiot7]

I feel like an absolute idiot. I am an idiot. And this was childish..

But when I met a man at a pub, I gave a fake name. I just made something easy up on the spot, thinking the conversation would last 5 mins and that would be that.

My actual name is boring, old fashioned and a bit embarrassing. So I have occasionally just made something better up if it's a situation like starbucks when they're just putting your name on the cup.

Anyway, we got on brilliantly. He took my number and we messaged for a couple of weeks. We have now been on two dates and I still haven't told him that the name I said, isn't actually my name! What the hell do I do?!

It's gone too far to come back from, hasn't it. I'm so embarrassed. This is such a stupid way to have fucked things up with a lovely man.

Go out for a boozy meal and then tell him when he’s had a few, make a joke of it?

Just tell him. Explain it is to weed out the losers and as he has passed the test he gets to know your real name

I just made something easy up on the spot, thinking the conversation would last 5 mins and that would be that

Just say the above.

Deed poll. It's your only choice.

Is there anyway at all that your fake name could be made out as being a nickname?

I know this is your actual life and you'll need to deal with this but it is sort of, a little bit funny. Sorry!

You haven’t fucked it up - just explain it to him like you have here. Preferably sooner rather than later!
Boozy meal is a good idea - make it lighthearted.

@LittleMissNaice

Deed poll. It's your only choice.

This 😂

Haha, aw OP. If he's as nice as you say he is, he'll probably laugh it off. If not, then he wasn't the one for you anyway.

I mean one option is you could actually change your name if you hate it that much!

But I agree that if he’s a genuinely nice guy he will probably understand if you give him the context.

My sister did this- she ended up dating the guy for years. Can't remember how it came out in the end

Well if I were him I'd find this very funny and probably call you by your fake name once in a while to make fun of you in a light-hearted way.

Honestly, it's just a very silly little lie! Just tell him, 'This is really silly but I actually lied to you about my name, I just didn't think this would progress any further and I just don't like my name very much. But, yeah... I'm not Stephanie, my real name is actually Anna'

Just tell him. He probably won't mind, but even if he does.... better now than later. Hope it goes well!

Jeez just tell him, he'll probably laugh.

Actually this sounds like something I might do

Hahahahahaha.

Honestly the way you explained it makes perfect sense!!

Just tell him face to face.

This would be great content for a wedding speech

Honestly, just tell him, I really don't think he will have a problem. I have a couple of friends who go by completely different names, purely because they don't like/identify with the name they were given.

I don't think this is a dealbreaker at all, just tell him you gave yourself a nickname of your own choosing as you're not fond of your own name.

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄

You've let it go on for a bit too long for it not to sound completely bonkers now! It would have been fine on the first date, to explain. Now it's been more than one, if this happened to me, I'd probably see it as a red flag initially.

Just be aware he might think it's a bit dodgy.

@RedCandyApple

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄

I know, I thought this! Double standards of people on mumsnet! I would see it as a red flag after this long.

@RedCandyApple
I remember that thread and I agree with you, when a guy does this posters have a very different reaction.

OP tell him sooner rather than later, if you leave it too late it's much harder to explain.

Hopefully he will laugh

Tell him exactly what you said

You will have to accept it if he decides you are a bit dodgy

If a woman wrote this that the guy she had been dated had lied about his name for weeks posters would have went mad and told her to end things and that he’s obviously married, it’s typical Mumsnet double standards anyway that when a woman does it it’s funny 🤦🏻

@RedCandyApple

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄

^ This

Double mn standards. I agree you should make a joke of it and just tell him. Tell him you dislike your real name- whatever. - Same as if you were a man really! Lol

Good luck!

My brother in law did this years ago and left it ages before saying anything, even got his mum and dad roped in answering the landline. Nothing sinister, just a daft thing on the night out where he met my sister. They’ve now been married nearly 20 years. Don’t sweat it, own up and have a laugh about it.