Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Embarrassing mistake with my name

101 replies

TheIdiot7 · 10/01/2022 19:03

I feel like an absolute idiot. I am an idiot. And this was childish..

But when I met a man at a pub, I gave a fake name. I just made something easy up on the spot, thinking the conversation would last 5 mins and that would be that.

My actual name is boring, old fashioned and a bit embarrassing. So I have occasionally just made something better up if it's a situation like starbucks when they're just putting your name on the cup.

Anyway, we got on brilliantly. He took my number and we messaged for a couple of weeks. We have now been on two dates and I still haven't told him that the name I said, isn't actually my name! What the hell do I do?!

It's gone too far to come back from, hasn't it. I'm so embarrassed. This is such a stupid way to have fucked things up with a lovely man.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGibbitt · 10/01/2022 20:52

@Mamette

Was it Shauna?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
QuicklyGoSlowly · 10/01/2022 20:58

Just don't wait until you've had a baby and you go to register it and find out the man you've been in a 3 year relationship with is called something completely different...yes I'm talling about you dp
Hmm

Forrandomposts · 10/01/2022 20:58

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄

No, the issue in the other thread was that he was lying to the OP about why he'd changed his name, pretending the website had done it to him etc, that was the concern. People agreed it was ok to lie about your name when first dating for safety.

bcc89 · 10/01/2022 21:01

@Forrandomposts

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄

No, the issue in the other thread was that he was lying to the OP about why he'd changed his name, pretending the website had done it to him etc, that was the concern. People agreed it was ok to lie about your name when first dating for safety.

Or two dates not for safety Hmm
MaeveDidIt · 10/01/2022 21:03

You really need to stop worrying so much and breathe. It’s nothing really in the whole scheme of things.

A different scenario; I went out with a guy year’s ago whose first name was awful. He was 6ft 4in (and very masculine), think of a very common 1960s girl’s name beginning with T.

After 3 months he fessed up. I was fine and I totally understood why he did it.

buckeejit · 10/01/2022 21:03

Just tell him your treat name but let him call you by the other name if he likes. That's cute. I called someone the wrong name for years & they were too polite to correct me. Worse because it was my friend & I both called her Michelle. Then one day we were taking about reports & she said mine always said Susie has her head in the clouds. We were like why did it say Susie?!!

Shadow1986 · 10/01/2022 21:04

If he has a sense of humour he will find it hilarious. Just make out you’re overly cautious with any strangers so he doesn’t feel like it was personally aimed at him!

LondonQueen · 10/01/2022 21:04

Sorry this a is quite funny, because I do the same thing at starbucks! I always envision running into someone I know and them thinking I've stolen someone's coffee!

EarthSight · 10/01/2022 21:06

@RedCandyApple

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄
That's quite a selective way of presenting that situation - I was on that thread.

The man in question said the app assigned him a name. Apps don't do that. Either that was a glitch (rare), or he was lying for some reason.

Timetoretiretospain · 10/01/2022 21:06

@LittleMissNaice

Deed poll. It's your only choice.
😂😂
Onehotmessiah · 10/01/2022 21:12

I went out with a guy who misheard my name when we met in a club. He called me Jane for about a month. When he told me he loved me I felt I had to come clean 😬 this story does not end with ‘married for 29 years and named our first born Jane’ but we did go out for about 18 months after! 🙈

Dizzylizzy22 · 10/01/2022 21:39

@SeasonFinale

Just tell him. Explain it is to weed out the losers and as he has passed the test he gets to know your real name
Ooooh good one!
Palava57 · 10/01/2022 21:46

I have a very unusual name. When I was dating online some years ago, one guy had googled me enough to find my cv on my employer’s website and proceeded to question me about it! I thought this was very creepy so after that never gave my real name again till about date three. So you are on course to tell him soon 😊

JangolinaPitt · 10/01/2022 21:53

I did similar. He just calls me by that name now.

daisyjgrey · 10/01/2022 22:11

@RedCandyApple

Isn’t it funny, there was a thread on here the other day where a woman said a man on old gave her the wrong name but told her his real name before they met, and everyone said it was a red flag, Wouldn’t meet him, instant put off, deal breaker, but on this thread a woman’s been lying about her name for weeks and it’s no big deal and “funny” 🙄
Not comparable. Don't be obtuse.
meringue33 · 10/01/2022 22:14

I actually know someone who did the same, and lied about her age too, and they are now happily married!

Hibye23289 · 10/01/2022 22:16

Can't you just make out it was a nickname from your childhood even though it sounds nothing like your name

TracyMosby · 10/01/2022 22:19

After the thread where a woman was emailed at work from some online guy who managed to get that info just from her name and job, I think fake naming is a good idea.

EddieVeddersfoxymop · 10/01/2022 22:22

I'd say something like you never give your genuine details out in the first instance of meeting someone. Say something about a bad experience, vague, waft hands about a bit......then fess up your real name in a lovely way. As in I'm enjoying your company, so my real name is Virginia Widebottom or whatever Grin

Credenhill22 · 10/01/2022 22:33

Get him into bed...all hot and naked.....just before you start dtd....tell him then......guaranteed he won't give a monkeys.

Lougle · 10/01/2022 22:39

@TheIdiot7

Thank you all. Some of your replies have been really helpful. I haven't seen the other thread that has been referred to here.

As for my real name, it is not a common name in England and is a bit of a mouthful. It's also very dated and yes I am embarrassed so something short and easy to say just cuts out having to explain & repeat my name. It was never meant to be a cruel trick or anything like that. I am very very embarrassed and hope he sees the funny side rather than running for the hills.

As long as it's not Princess Consuela Bananahammock, I think you'll be ok Smile
OliveToboogie · 11/01/2022 01:06

Feel your pain I did same when I met my partner. Luckily my new name could be a nickname from my real name so got away with it. In fact he has never known me as anything else. Been together 7 years. Although he does joke I catfished him as I ahem took a few years off my age. Fessed up on date 2 as I felt so guilty🤭🤭🤫🤫🤫

sammylady37 · 11/01/2022 06:47

All those saying explain it away as a safety measure seem to be blithely ignoring the fact that doing so would be adding a further lie into the mix. The op has already lied to him and carried on that lie. She doesn’t need to start lying more. She’s been very clear on the thread that it was because of embarrassment she lied. And those who are saying it’s ok for women to lie about their name for safety reasons but not ok for men cos the safety thing doesn’t apply as much to them, seem to also be on goring that on the thread @RedCandyApple refers to, the man in question is castigated for lying about how the incorrect name story came about. There’s lots of posts about how dating apps don’t assign you names so he’s clearly lying and is therefore untrustworthy etc. But maybe that’s the saga he and his friends concocted to cover for his legitimate safety concerns? Why do people (women) get to dismiss men potentially having safety concerns?

sammylady37 · 11/01/2022 06:48

*on goring = ignoring. Thanks autocorrect and not proof reading!

SweetPotatoDumpling · 11/01/2022 07:02

I did something similar many years ago in a pub...but about my job. I told the guy that I was an office manager (no idea why that job, first thing that came into my head!!) Reason being, when I usually told men my actual job (primary teacher) they often got all 'oohhh you can put me in detention any day' and 'bend me over your knee Miss', which was grim! So...turns out I married him 🤣 Had to come clean eventually of course...he found it funny.

We are divorced now though 🤦‍♀️

Just tell him, it will be fine 👍

Swipe left for the next trending thread