Seeking opinions but I think I know what the answer will be!!
In Oct 21 my husband came home from work and told me he had slept with a colleague and it made him address his feelings for me. He told me he hadn’t been happy in our relationship of 14yrs since Jan/Feb 21 and realised he didn’t love me in March. Since May he has been messaging/sexting this girl from work, and ended up sleeping with her in the staff room at work the week before he told me.
Since then he has repeatedly said he loves me as the mother of our kids but not as a wife. Since being ‘unhappy’ but before I realised what was going on we have been on 2 holidays and even celebrated our anniversary with a weekend away just 2 weeks before he slept with her. I had absolutely no idea he was unhappy.
I haven’t chucked him out, but told him he needs to decide whether to try and save our marriage or leave. He can’t make a decision apparently as he’s not sure he ‘wants’ to save the marriage and he will be happier alone and single. He has started smoking (non smoker for years) and drinking daily. However sometimes I see glimmers he does want to still be with me but I’m not sure if it’s me clutching at straws. We have 2x children aged 9yrs and 5yrs. He is still sleeping in the same bed and we continue to be intimate.
Am I being a fool? Am I just serving as someone to have sex with while he makes his mind up? Surely if he wanted to save our marriage he wouldn’t need to be convinced? He is not the man I married and has morphed into this selfish and hurtful man. He is having counselling but I’ve been in this limbo land since October 2021 and not sure how much longer I can do it for.