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Original poster

OLD - anyone else felt like this and actually met their one

92 replies

scorpiogirly · 08/01/2022 22:45

I signed up to Bumble. Haven't done OLD for years and I hated POF because there were a fair few weirdos on there.

I keep swiping left. Asking myself who the hell are these men? They are unfamiliar, they seem like aliens to me, they may as well be from another planet.

Has anyone else felt like this and mat someone special?

OP posts:
anunseemlylovefordustin · 08/01/2022 22:52

I signed up to bumble this week, and I feel exactly the same! I spent an hour or so swiping left, thinking Who are these people?! Trying to imagine actually meeting one of them, and being totally unable to imagine enjoying it. I think I've left it too long (over 4 years single after a horrid marriage) and now they really are an alien species to me :)
Not quite the answer you were looking for I know... but at least you're not alone!

SunsetsAndLollypops · 08/01/2022 22:53

There is an overwhelmingly high percentage of awful men on OLD sites op. However there are some good ones. I remember reading a thread on here a while ago where someone said it’s almost worth treating it like a second job… it’s hard and tiring but there are decent men on them. Me personally I’ve met and had short term relationships with 2 men from old and I’m currently very hopeful with one on getting g to know. It’s a long slog though

bloodywhitecat · 08/01/2022 22:56

I married my accidental right swipe from Tinder, swiping him right instead of left was the best mistake I ever made.

Sidge · 08/01/2022 23:00

I met my wonderful boyfriend on Bumble. Had to sift through an awful lot of dross though.

OLD requires a thick skin, strong boundaries, clear goals and a ruthless swiping/sifting procedure.

Original poster
scorpiogirly · 08/01/2022 23:04

@bloodywhitecat

I married my accidental right swipe from Tinder, swiping him right instead of left was the best mistake I ever made.
Oooh please tell me more. How was it accidental? Did you not like the look of him? Did he message first and then you decided to give it a go?
OP posts:
Original poster
scorpiogirly · 08/01/2022 23:05

Glad it's not just me. It's dreadful. It's a lot worse than I remember. A lot of them look just nuts.

OP posts:
RoyKentsChestHair · 08/01/2022 23:08

Just split up from my DP of 9 years and half dreading/half excited about dating again. At 48 I’m worried that it will be all the 75 year olds messaging me, if anyone. Following for reassurance that it’s not as awful as I imagine, but so far…!

Shyla867 · 08/01/2022 23:10

Oh
My
God..
So so so many horrible men on OLD, it's actually really depressing.
I'm on pof and every day I block so many men, think I'm going to come off it.

Original poster
scorpiogirly · 08/01/2022 23:12

That's why I joined bumble, so they can't send pervy messages. It made me feel sick and so down before.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 08/01/2022 23:13

I had set myself a rule that anyone I swiped right on must have some sort of profile and he had none, plus he had a goofy picture before I could figure out how to undo the right swipe he messaged me and we got chatting. After a few weeks of messaging he drove an hour and a half to meet me and the rest, as they say, is history. We have been together for five years and married for 7 months, sadly I don't think we will make our first anniversary as he is now terminally ill with cancer and a recent stroke has robbed him of his mobility and his speech.

Shyla867 · 08/01/2022 23:16

I wanted to join bumble, but they filter you down by location and GPS which I didn't like.

Original poster
scorpiogirly · 08/01/2022 23:29

@bloodywhitecat

I had set myself a rule that anyone I swiped right on must have some sort of profile and he had none, plus he had a goofy picture before I could figure out how to undo the right swipe he messaged me and we got chatting. After a few weeks of messaging he drove an hour and a half to meet me and the rest, as they say, is history. We have been together for five years and married for 7 months, sadly I don't think we will make our first anniversary as he is now terminally ill with cancer and a recent stroke has robbed him of his mobility and his speech.
That's both lovely and so sad. I am so sorry about his diagnosis. I am sure you never regretted meeting him though. All the best to you both and thank you for sharing that Flowers
OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 08/01/2022 23:34

I have no regrets at all, we have had the best five years of our lives. Good luck, there are still some good ones out there.

Jjjayfee · 08/01/2022 23:35

I know two happily partnered couples who met on Tinder.

SunflowerTed · 09/01/2022 00:05

@bloodywhitecat

I had set myself a rule that anyone I swiped right on must have some sort of profile and he had none, plus he had a goofy picture before I could figure out how to undo the right swipe he messaged me and we got chatting. After a few weeks of messaging he drove an hour and a half to meet me and the rest, as they say, is history. We have been together for five years and married for 7 months, sadly I don't think we will make our first anniversary as he is now terminally ill with cancer and a recent stroke has robbed him of his mobility and his speech.
So sorry
SunflowerTed · 09/01/2022 00:06

Met my husband online. Best 14 years of my life

Gilda152 · 09/01/2022 00:37

Met my husband on Tinder, happily together since 2014, married since 2017.

We need to drop this idea that there are SOOO many awful men on OLD, it's really unfair. The guys are going to say the same about women on OLD and that's unfair too.

The vast majority of people on OLD are just normal people that you're not going to be attracted to either by their looks or their actions. That's completely natural. We need to dispel this myth that OLD is just a collection of reject men and women. Why? Because if it's not going so well for you, you're going to start thinking of yourself as a reject too, that's going to make you defensive and insecure - and at that point OLD becomes your enemy not your friend.

Common sense really.

Of course, we're not talking about unsolicited body part photos or weird behaviour.

Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz · 09/01/2022 00:55

I met my dp on tinder last February. We text and video chatted for weeks during lockdown and really got to know eachother before meeting in June. Before him I was really disillusioned with the whole thing and had started to think it just would never come to anything.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We said I love you for the first time tonight and I've never felt happier.

Don't give up (it took me 40 years to find my one)

LittleWins · 09/01/2022 00:59

Yes and yes.

I really think you have to be ready to date or you’ll have no chance of a healthy relationship though. Don’t go from one relationship to another. Give it a break for 6mths.

PermanentTemporary · 09/01/2022 01:02

I don't believe in 'the one' but I've certainly had that 'who are these people' feeling. I'd agree with taking a break. I did meet someone, together just over a year.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 09/01/2022 01:14

My brother just married his first Bumble date. I don't think he was joined up to any other OLD either.

MissConductUS · 09/01/2022 01:22

I met my lovely husband on match.com when it was so new it was free and there were no photos as no one had digital cameras. We've been happily married for 24 years and have two great kids in university.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 09/01/2022 01:48

I've been on a few dating sites. No one has ever sent me a message Blush I got friends to check my profile to make sure I wasn't doing it wrong. All good. I've sent messages.
Never got a reply. So I gave up.

At a loss at what to do.
Maybe I'll try bumble.

Kottontail · 09/01/2022 02:04

Oh don't give up. I met my amazing boyfriend on match after 2 minutes of signing up.(We had seen each other the previous week in real life & locked eyes for a moment). He had just joined also & saw my profile the moment I set it up & recognised me straight away!That was nearly two years ago. I had been single for years after my partner died. This man is truly the love of my life. If its meant for you, it won't pass you. X

onedayoranother · 09/01/2022 02:15

My friend is getting married soon to a guy she met online. No idea what site. She's in her 50s and has had quite a bit of success (two other relationships one lasting well over a year).
Another says she can't believe the people who think she would consider them (she's very glamorous mid 50s). It is a numbers game though.
I met my husband through an off line 'introduction agency'. You had to pay a fair whack to join which I thought would rule out anyone just looking to hook up.