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Original poster

Morning texts when you're dating someone..

115 replies

Sharpie0870 · 02/01/2022 23:11

I've NC for this.
After being single for 2 years, I took the plunge and made a profile on a dating app. Only one person really engaged me in conversation and we swapped numbers. So far, every morning for the past couple of weeks he's messaged me first thing to say "Hi Gorgeous" literally just that. Nothing else.
Why does this annoy me?
I can't explain why, but it really bothers me.
Just wondering what others views are on Hi Gorgeous texts?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2022 23:42

Oh I feel you. I started seeing a guy and he was great, things were fine, but basically that message every morning gave me the ick. I can't explain it. Just something between pressure to engage and him putting not much thought into it but feeling like he was great for texting me.

pictish · 02/01/2022 23:43

This would annoy me too…but then I’m not a fan of pointless texts at all.
I’d ignore it I suppose. Cba to entertain his lazy repetitive nonsense. Maybe send a friendly text later on if you have something to say…but no response to ‘hi gorgeous’.

Original poster
Sharpie0870 · 02/01/2022 23:43

@SleepingStandingUp

Oh I feel you. I started seeing a guy and he was great, things were fine, but basically that message every morning gave me the ick. I can't explain it. Just something between pressure to engage and him putting not much thought into it but feeling like he was great for texting me.
Did you swiftly end things?
OP posts:
catfunk · 02/01/2022 23:43

It's a lazy text and he probably types it whilst he's having a shit 😂

Littlewhiteballs · 02/01/2022 23:44

I'd send back "alwight 'andsome" until he got the message.

Wineat5isfine · 02/01/2022 23:45

If everything else is ok and you are looking forward to meeting him, just tell him that you don’t like the way he phrases the messages? 🤦🏼‍♀️

pictish · 02/01/2022 23:46

@WanderingLost167

But. A lot of women do like them, because they feel that the guy is thinking about them...
Ugh I know. There have been a few threads written by women who are cross and/or insecure because they’re not getting enough of this —crap—
IWannaWishYouANutNutsChristmas · 02/01/2022 23:46

@Sharpie0870

It is hard because I feel like i have to engage in conversation after that hi gorgeous text. It's been a long time since I dated so not sure what an acceptable level of texting is lol.
Bat back your own "Hi Gorgeous" and put the ball back in his court?
coolcahuna · 02/01/2022 23:46

It's just low effort isn't it . I'm online dating at the moment and have just stopped messaging someone like this as it was tiring thinking of something to respond with..

Poppiesway1 · 02/01/2022 23:47

I agree with @Sharpie0870 , I used to have a BF who would text good morning everyday at about 8:30am Smile, have a good day etc.. which was nice. But if he’d gone with the hi gorgeous etc.. that would have been ick for me too. I don’t like the affectionate terms as it it Grin
And funnily enough…now I’m thinking about it, other bf who have text good mornings have irritated me.. so maybe it was just the one who I really liked got away with it ? 🤔

PicaK · 02/01/2022 23:48

He's texting multiple people the same thing

MMBaranova · 02/01/2022 23:48

I'd send back "alwight 'andsome" until he got the message.

Good one and it fits the Equal Response Rule.

Under the ERR you reply to short messages with up to, and no more than, the number of words in the message.

pictish · 02/01/2022 23:51

Yep…he’s instigating the contact so it’s up to him to make it worth your while.

hi gorgeous

hi lovely

…

Let him fill in the gaps…it’s his idea.

CousinKrispy · 02/01/2022 23:53

Just tell him you don't like to bother with texts in the mornings as you're getting ready to focus on the day ahead and will chat later when you can focus on that.

Then see if you like him when you meet him.

You can always later find a chance to diplomatically say that you're now happy to text in the mornings, but you find "hi gorgeous" too generic and would rather he use your name.

GarageMusicLover1980 · 02/01/2022 23:55

He sounds like my ex. Lol 😝

Original poster
Sharpie0870 · 02/01/2022 23:56

@MMBaranova

I'd send back "alwight 'andsome" until he got the message.

Good one and it fits the Equal Response Rule.

Under the ERR you reply to short messages with up to, and no more than, the number of words in the message.

Haha i love this rule 😂
OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2022 23:58

Did you swiftly end things? I persisted and bit it down because there was a connection of sorts, bland it actually fell apart for other reasons, we stayed friends for ages until life.... but it was like the one thing that just... grrr. He was so nice, but it was like he was... Trying too hard??

Go on the date, see what he's like but DEF say something. Even if it's a jokey "ooh we've had a date now, I thought I'd progress to a new morning text" kinda thing

Original poster
Sharpie0870 · 02/01/2022 23:58

This is the thing, we've chatted a lot the past 2 weeks as I had annual leave before Xmas and obviously the festive break but there's no way I can message this much when I'm back in my job on Tuesday as I work in a hospital. The hi gorgeous texts will infuriate me even more!

OP posts:
Lovelymonkeyninetynine · 03/01/2022 00:05

Is it that much of a big deal? There's likely to be lots of things you have to compromise on with men while dating and if it's little things like this I can't see the issue. I'd zoom out and look at the big picture with this man or anyone else you might date in the future.
A lack of response or response in a different tone to the morning message will let him know you're busy or not keen on his tone. Don't lose a good one over something trivial though!

DippingToes · 03/01/2022 00:06

I'd just ask him if he copies and pastes the message every day. Hopefully it'll make him think. You can soften your message with some laughing emojis if you like to imply you're joking (even though you're not).

I'd hate this too.

Frazzled2207 · 03/01/2022 00:08

That would put me right off
A regular morning message with sthg to actually say would be fine.

If everything else about him is promising I’d just try and be honest with him and ask him to lay off the gorgeous texts and see how he reacts

thekissoflife · 03/01/2022 00:09

It would annoy me too, but everyone has annoying things about them. You could mention it to him gently next time you're together and explain why it's annoying.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 03/01/2022 00:10

I think you should reply with Why do you always write "hi gorgeous every morning?" And leave it at that. He may think about it and vary his morning greeting to you. I say this to my kids quite frequently but not on a schedule.

Summerfun54321 · 03/01/2022 00:17

How a guy comes across is person is way more important than how they come across over WhatsApp. I met my DH online. We sent a couple of messages and he came across as boring as hell, in reality he’s my soulmate but happens to be dyslexic and is terrible at writing messages. You narrow down your options if you judge too much in advance of meeting.

RoyKentsChestHair · 03/01/2022 00:27

Both too much and not enough - impersonal and invasive which is quite a trick with a simple daily text.

Perfectly put!!