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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New relatinship freak out

53 replies

charliebu1986 · 02/01/2022 16:42

Good afternoon, quick advice if anyone is able to help me....
Came out of 20 year marriage, ready to move on slowly after 2 years, met someone who I am interested in and would like to date.
I am busy at work and have 3 kids. He has said its ignorant the way I choose to message, rather than ring, as ringing is a much better communication tool and he hates messages. I think its nice to talk, and I was on the phone to him for 1.5 hours earlier in thr week but I want to take things slowly anyway, and I am not always free to speak for hours on end. If on messages I dont answer within a minute I get a ? or ok you havent time to talk to me
I have my own house, which he has commented on some day also living here, but I keep drawing it back a bit as I have 3 kids and not ready for that by any means.
He has also mentioned that although I am a clean person, my car isnt, as I have dogs, so he has asked for a lift somewhere which is a 3 hour drive, as his car is broken, but said I would either need to clean it or we need to buy seat covers, and get changed when there. He said its the dogs and its because I am used to it, but its my car, not sure if I have become use to no compromise
Main thing, is we were supposed to go out today it was arranged, he said he didnt ring me this morning as I hardly ever answer, he also did not message, he said I should have rang him and as I didnt it didnt happen, but he gets up late so I was waiting, anyway, should I say well Im not into phone calls, so meet me half way, or be understanding and start ringing more even though I don; like it. He said 15 year olf message, adults ring. Many thanks, all new again this and not sure what to do with it really. Not sure fi early red flags, or I need to chill out a little

OP posts:
Juletide · 02/01/2022 18:17

Come on now posters, get off the fence.

feelsobadfeltsogood · 02/01/2022 19:02

@PorpoiseWithPurpose

Fuck that. Fuck him. Block and never deal with his shit again.
Exactly what I was thinking
User2638483 · 02/01/2022 19:04

Ditch him, please.

The calling you ‘ignorant’ for messaging instead of phoning, and passive aggressive “??” messages (ugh I hate that) are reason enough.

Run!

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