Leaving note

[Waaahbaby]

In a few weeks I will be gone with the children, he doesn’t know and neither do they yet.
My plan is to collect them from school and take them to new house. I can’t sit down and talk with him so he will return to an empty house. What do I write in the note to say we have gone? He’s been abusive and controlling for years and I fully expect a backlash.

What did you decide to write in the note? My mother left my abusive father when I was 7. I remember that she told me she had a plan to leave on a particular date and I remember persuading her that we needed to go earlier. We were so much happier without him. You're doing the best for your children and you!

Good luck OP. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Wishing you every happiness going forward.

Good luck @Waaahbaby, best wishes, you and the children deserve to be happy.

wow, OP, you are seriously amazing. I hope today goes perfectly. All my admiration and good wishes.

You’re amazing OP - all the strength and love to you. I hope you feel the weight lift as you walk away x

Sending you strength and hugs. One tough day to the rest of your life. You can do this. How awesome are you x x

Good luck.

You are amazing. The very best of luck to you all today - may this be the start of some amazing and wonderful years for you and your DC.

I remember my flight from the ex about 20 years ago and I was a kind of excited-terrified. I have never, not once, regretted it.

We took everything I'd ever bought for the house. The fucker didn't even have a tin opener or a set of sheets on the bed when DM was done. I felt massively guilty that I was inconveniencing him because I'd been so conditioned by him. Now when I remember my little fierce Mum ruthlessly going through every single household item with the sole intention of making sure he never got anything, I get the giggles. She even cleared out the fridge .

Onwards and upwards m'dear!

Good luck! Hope you have a wonderful new life!

You can do this OP. Cheering you on and wishing I had done the same.
You are amazing, your kids are so lucky to have you. Go OP!!

Good luck OP, wishing you and your DC all the best in your new life...you can do it!

@AgathaX

Well done on making plans to get yourself and your DC out of this situation. I would advise speaking to women's aid as soon as you can. They should be able to offer support which could be invaluable on the day. Also it may be worth speaking to they police before you go so they know to respond quickly if called to your address. As for the note, I think say the minimum. Your leaving an intolerable situation for the well-being and safety of you and the DC. Perhaps offer a male relations, friends or colleagues contact info for emergency use only, and say you'll be in contact in due course regarding the DC. Hopefully you can have a solicitor lined up before you go so could just state all contact to be addressed to solicitor.

This. Well done for having the strength and your children will thank you but Women's Aid, Solicitor and school in the know - all good advice.

I would also make sure the school are aware incase I attempts to take the children from school after you've left.
I would also (potentially) make an arrangements to meet him (somewhere public & without the children) so that you have opportunity to talk after you've left. (Don't go straight home afterwards incase he attempts to follow you)
This will hopefully enable you to make any necessary arrangements re children - this obviously depends on your circumstances.
Good luck - make sure your friends & family are aware and on hand to support you
It's a brave move & im sure you will feel such a sense of relief when you've done it 🤗

Good luck. Stay firm, there will be times when you're tempted to go back. Look at this thread and remember you can do it.

Go go go!! Your new life begins today!

Sending you love and strength OP x

I hope you are ok and wishing you all the very best of luck with escaping from this man. You are a formidable woman!

Wishing you and your DC, the very best of luck for today and the rest of your new life. You amazing woman x

Good luck! Thinking of you and hoping it all goes to plan

I did a similar thing almost 4 years ago, myself and 2 DC are happy and better off without him. I did take out a prohibited steps order, so he doesn't take them away ( he works and lives abroad most of the time). He didn't bother to look for us or even respond to the children's messages. I should have left him many years ago !

Good luck- hope all goes to plan today

Strength OP and Godspeed.

Good luck OP, well done for realising your worth

Good luck

I hope you are al settled and tucking into a nice takeaway

Thinking of you OP.
Sending lots of good wishes for the first day of the rest of your lives.