At my parents for xmas along with sister & bro in law and their two (young adult) children. We all live within a few mins walk of one another. Plan was to eat dinner there then walk over to my Sister and bro in laws closby to do presents and have a few drinks/play games etc.
As dinner is being cleared away, my Dad starts getting irritable and angry and having a go at my Mum and me
As we're getting ready to leave, my dog takes her bone and starts eating it on the carpet and she's hiding. Sister and others have left and BIL is just leaving.
I go to get her but she's tangled around a chair and my Dad starts shouting really loudly at me 'Just get hold of the fucking dog' and I said I'm trying and then I decided to go and get her lead to put on her ( I realise this all sounds stupid and over nothing, which it is) so I go to get her lead but It's a gap between table and wall and Dad's standing there and as I approach I say '' stop shouting' and 'please stop shouting' and he says 'no I won't!'
I go up to get past him and ask please get out of my way and he shouts 'I'll come through you in a minute!' I said again please let me pass' and he says 'What you gonna do?!' still shouting. I didn't flinch ( I would have in the past, get past him get dog lead and leave.
Shortly after I got home my Mum rings, everyone has gone and she needs a hand carrying things over and why have I gone. I said I am sorry but I dont want to be in same room as him, but I will come and help her.
So I return and help her carry things to sister and BILs. She says people will wonder where I am and I say 'Well he can tell them can't he'.
Then I go home again.
I've been home maybe 40 mins and Dad knocks at door and says 'Please come over. You can't just upset their christmas...' I interject with 'You can't just make threats'
'I didn't make threats'
'Yes you did, you said you'd come through me'
(Shouting angrily again now)
'You can't just go around telling lies...' I dont know what else he said because I closed the door.
Backstory is, he has been this way my whole life. I grew up terrified of men and have had some awful relationships since before coming out as gay in my late twenties. He scares me so much even now but I just don't want to accept men (including him) squaring up to me, threatening me, trying to scare me, blocking my path.
I heard him after this saying 'You lying little bitch' and 'That's it, I don't have a daughter, we're DONE'
It's hard to convey in text. He's such a LOUD person, he's a large man, he's physically and mentally abused me as a child and continues in adulthood although he hasn't hit me since I was about 15.
I'm so scared. My family probably all hate me now. I dont know what they're saying.
If Dad had remained calm and not raised his voice at me again I'd have gone back over. He can't control his anger and I dont want to be okay with it :(
What shall I do? :( I am still shaking.