I write my Birthday (the end of July) and Christmas wish lists when I have an idea of what I would like/need for them. Often straight away after my birthday/Christmas. For example, for the next year, I would like a lovely big fridge on offer. I am willing to pay 1/2 or 1/3 towards it too. For 10 years we've had a 75cms high fridge and the same size freezer and I'd like to have a nice decent proper family size. Not necessarily huge and really expensive American-style fridge with 3 doors but big enough. A European one with 1-2 doors will be good enough for me.
When we lived 3.5 hours away from where we live now for my husband's job for 7 years we had a big fridge. He left it when he was selling the flat. I wish he didn't and would bring it in the house we now live in.
I put it on the wall on a magnetic board and my husband knows clearly what I would like. I don't want unwanted presents I don't need.
This year on my list I had a 1) folded desk under £50 2) coffee machine for a reasonable price on Amazon under £50.
2 weeks before Christmas my husband and our 14 y.o. son saw a lovely desk for me at B&M for £22. They sent me a picture of it when I was at work. A week later when I had a weekend off our son wanted to see a new Spiderman movie at the cinema, we took him there and while waiting for him we went to B&M for me to see that desk and test. I liked it and he got it for me. One day I'll have a bigger size desk but at the moment the smaller one is better and takes less room.
He also gave me a £50 voucher he got from his work for 150 shops. So I'll use it on Amazon for a coffee machine with good reviews.
I gave him £60 cash towards whatever he likes/needs/chooses himself. He bought a lovely dark green spring jacket from Superdry in the sale for £40 instead of £80 (he has other colours lovely good quality coats & jackets like black, grey, brown) and will use the £20 towards anything he chooses himself.
I always make an effort (I pay for it) for us to have some lovely food, non-alcohol drinks (I don't encourage alcohol. My DH can have an occasional can/bottle of cider/beer he chooses and has in storage once a month or so), desserts from M&S & sometimes from other shops for us to enjoy as a family for 2-3 days for Christmas. It's also a part of my Christmas present for him & our son.
Creating a festive mood and lovely family atmosphere is part of our happy family time together when little things and kind thoughts matter and count.
I AM materialistic and I don't like it when money is wasted on something that is a waste of it for me. Most people are because we live in a materialistic world.
We discuss our potential presents, agree on what we would like/need/want and it's much easier and simpler instead of guessing games and being disappointed with the wrong thing trying to hide the disappointment, going back to the shop queueing for a refund (if there is a receipt:)) or wasting time & effort on sending it back by post.
Trying to find the right words not to upset your loved one for making an effort and not to come across as ungrateful. I prefer to avoid having an extra unwanted item as clutter and waste of money and helping to save the planet. :)
My husband's dad always gives us generous cheques for us to choose ourselves what we prefer. We put our son's money into his savings account and our money in our accounts for something useful we need/find later.