Do you know more or less people that couldn’t have kids after 35?

[Worrier1930]

Basically just panicking. 35 and single. Feel heartbroken so won’t be able to date again for a while. I’m 36 in June. Feeling stressed and sad.

more!

Maybe freeze your eggs if you have the money? i did and it does help take some pressure off if it goes well.

Why not have a fertility test and see where you stand?

I understand why you’re asking, but anecdotal stories won’t change whether or not you’ll struggle to conceive, which can happen at 25 or 35. Historically women have been told their fertility drops off a cliff at 35. Fortunately that’s just not true.

Lots of our friends have had kids after 35. But that’s not to say it’s the same for everyone.

I was 34 when I got pregnant with DC1, 35 when I gave birth. I was 38 with DC2.

I’m not the oldest mum at the school gates by a long way.

@Marmite27

Lots of our friends have had kids after 35. But that’s not to say it’s the same for everyone.

I was 34 when I got pregnant with DC1, 35 when I gave birth. I was 38 with DC2.

I’m not the oldest mum at the school gates by a long way.

Same

While I don't personally know of anyone who had their kids outside of their twenties, I see daily statistical data through my job that includes the age of women who've just given birth. I'd say around half are over 35.

We also joke we took 6 months to conceive DC1 (pill for 18 years beforehand) and 20 minutes for DC2.

I never went back on the pill between them, we had a discussion about having a second, consulted a calendar and DC1 was having a nap…

41 when dd was born. Married at 39. Got pregnant within 2 months of trying.

Less.
I know quite a few couples that got pregnant for the first time after 35. Can only think of one couple that didn’t have kids that started trying after 35 and they said they decided not to,

Hmmm, in my circle it seems that fertility drops off a cliff at age 39/40. At 35 it doesn't seem to change much yet.

How do you feel about potentially going at it alone in a few years? Freezing embryos gives a much much much higher chance than freezing eggs. Most eggs either don't survive freezing, don't fertilise, or die in the lab within days. Embryos are way hardier.

I don’t know that many women in my circle who had kids under 35.

I had my last in my 40s.
My first I was your age and it was somewhat of a surprise to discover I was pregnant (I didn’t want children, took all precautions, new relationship etc)

OP I'm 35 and have had a miserable time TTC, I don't know anyone who had miscarriages so though I'd be quick to conceive but two years later and various iOS carriages I'm still not pregnant so I understand your worry.

Sorry I can be more helpful but I'm feeling pessimistic about TTC.

I'm also the fittest healthiest of most people I know, slim build don't smoke drink etc but still I've ended up in this situation so proceed with caution.

Sorry I couldn't be more positive

I'm also the last of the people I know to have kids and am the only one to my knowledge struggling to conceive

If you can, talk to your mum as her fertility is a good guide to yours. Mine had had menopause in her 40s so keep issuing dire warnings but she'd given up by the time I finally started thinking about children.

Came off pill after twenty years on it at age 40, pregnant within two months, no miscarriages, straightforward pregnancy, doddle of a home birth, breastfeeding no problem, lovely low-maintenance baby who's now a gorgeous 15-yo. I feel as though I somehow cheated, but some of us are just lucky. I didn't even count as an "elderly primagravida" though friend who had her first at 48 did...

Then early menopause after all, but not too early! The fertility test isn't much use because as my lovely GP pointed out "We can test your ovaries now but they could konk out at any moment."

I am 39 and friends are a similar age. Most of us have dcs and the ones who don't haven't been TTC AFAIK. I know two couples where their dc1 was born when the mums were 39 and 40. A few more where the mums were 37/38. I also know older mums at my dcs school, but their little ones aren't first dcs.

Most people I know had babies after 35, many end of thirties/early 40s.

I didn't meet DH until I was 38. Had DD at 40 and conceived first month of trying. My sister fell pregnant at 39 by happy "accident". Most of my friends started their families in their early 30's. One had her second at 44 (initially thought missed period was due to menopause) and another had her third at 43. On the other hand I have another friend who has been trying unsuccessfully since she was in her late 30's and at 46 it's sadly probably too late for her. On balance more positive stories than negative in my circle that I know about though.

OP pease don't listen to posters implying it's fine. It very well might be but it also may not be.

If you're not that bothered about kids then it doesn't matter but if you are, you need to try for kids sooner rather than later.

No one knows what your ovaries are capable of until you try so ignore posters saying it's fine: no one knows not even the fertility doctors

I'm the same as @ttcpatronisers
I'm 35 and pregnant currently. It took me 9 months to get pregnant, I started getting so desperate as we were having sex every day around my ovulation. Something Just wasn't working.

It was so unexpected as I'm sporty, healthy, never ill, considered myself young. TTC was heartbreaking month after month.

My advice - freeze your eggs or embryos. It scares me to think what would happen if I started TTC at 39/40.

I know plenty who have got pregnant and had babies after 35.

On the other hand, I had DD at 28 after three years of fertility problems and two miscarriages. I know NOBODY else of my age that has encountered the kind of problems I have. And yet it still happened to me 🤷🏽‍♀️

I started trying at 30. First pregnancy at 34, second (surprise) at 37. Most of my friends had their babies late twenties, early thirties but a few had their first around 36-39 and had no real issues. Am hoping you find some peace and don’t try to worry too much, that won’t change anything. Like PP have said, maybe look into egg/embryo freezing and take some time out of dating until you feel ready x

I think most of the mothers I know have had their first child around or after the age of 35. Some of them may have been married for long, while others were very quick to have childewn..but all the children seem to have happened around this age.

And just to add mine is a high risky pregnancy with 30/50% chance still that miscarriage might happen.
So it'll take me right back again to TTC, hoping Pregnancy would go full term that time etc.

My eggs in the meantime are ageing with every year.

Never thought it would be like this when I started TTC as a young 34 yo!

Definitely know more who it was ok for after than those who don’t.

I have plenty of friends who have had first children in their late 30s. Many of those friends have also taken a long time to conceive, have had IVF or have experienced miscarriages along the way.
At the age of 30 I got pregnant within 2 weeks of stopping the contraception I'd been taking for 14 years, I couldn't believe how easy it was. With DC2 it took years of trying including a miscarriage before we managed another successful pregnancy when I was 34 - how much of that was down to me being that bit older I don't know.
It can't hurt to get a fertility test to see where you stand, and then you can consider your options.

I don't really remember anyone, other than one 27/28 yr old woman, who was under 35 in our antenatal class.

NHS fertility Web page says 90% of women under 39 will conceive within 2 yrs of trying.

The fertility check, not perfect but better than nothing, would be good idea.