Do you know more or less people that couldn’t have kids after 35?

[Worrier1930]

Basically just panicking. 35 and single. Feel heartbroken so won’t be able to date again for a while. I’m 36 in June. Feeling stressed and sad.

We had Dd1 after 4 months of trying at 35, and Dd2 at 38. I got pregnant the month we decided to try for number 2.

I was not the oldest at the school gates.

Lol, I'm in West London. 35 is practically too young for a baby. The vast majority of my mum friends had them late thirties or early forties. My sister just had her third at 44. My mum had me at 43 and my sister at 46. I was positively a baby in my first NCT group aged 31.

I had my second at 37, v nearly 38.

Several of my friends and colleagues didn’t have children until they were in their late 30s or even 40s.

I had DS3 at 39. It took less than 2 months between having a coil removed and conceiving him.

Fertility is hugely unpredictable - some people struggle, others don’t. Whatever their age. You just won’t know which group you fall in until you are trying (or not trying and still pregnant in some cases).

However, the much more important consideration is finding the right person to have children with and build a life with. This is really, really crucial. Whatever age you are, it really isn’t an ‘anyone will do’ scenario. So this is actually the bit that is most worth your attention.

Lots of people in my social circle having second third or fourth babies between 35-39. Some have definitely been unplanned ones from couples taking more risks with contraception believing that the woman's fertility would have dropped off a cliff towards her 40s.

More of my friends had babies in their 40s than 20s! Average age late 30s.

More! Just had my second at 36 but I'm one of the youngest amongst my peers to have children

I had DD when I was 40. Chatting to the midwives during my check ups they said that they see more women over 40 than they do under 30. It does probably vary according to area but in this (hospital was in a very affluent) area of London older is the norm.
Of course this doesn't show the number of older women who tired and did not carry a pregnancy to the point of midwife care

At 30, I was told by surgeons that pregnancy was not for me. Bicornuate uterus (severe and twisted), polycystic ovaries and a dozen other medical conditions...

Try telling that to my 10 year old and 14 year old glued to their tech now. There was a few unsuccessful pregnancies along the way but they were conceived naturally, and went full term, and the last one at 40. Look into fertility and lifestyle options. Don't leave it too late, as the mum's I know who had kids 40+ find the whole baby/ infancy stage harder physically and emotionally than younger women. I suppose hormonal changes during that decade don't help.

I had both kids after 35

Oh and I had significant endometriosis too - it’s not the end of the line

As others said if motherhood is important to you, go it alone. A man is no guarantee of anything. The world is full of willing sperm donors....