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Original poster

Antidepressants to take the edge off heartbreak

94 replies

Psm92 · 21/12/2021 01:08

I recently went through a devastating breakup and was completely blindsided by it. I have also suffered a pretty big health challenge and some setbacks at work and am really struggling to get past the hopeless catatonic feeling. I miss my ex desperately, and crave the constant support and love he provided. He wasn't a bad person at all so I can't even console myself that I deserve better. I'm finding it really hard to deal with things, even though I am trying to stay engaged and see friends etc.

I know many caution against it but is it likely that antidepressants could take the edge off this deep sadness and just let me function better for a while? I'm not particularly anxious, so it would be just to treat the hopelessly sad/grieving feeling. Thoughts appreciated x

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2021 01:13

No, sorry my love. Situational depression is something you go through. It's not the same as clinical depression. Bloody shit though.

Talking helps.

Onthedunes · 21/12/2021 01:29

I think an appointment with the gp would be best.

MintJulia · 21/12/2021 01:34

I was utterly miserable for a period when ds was a toddler. I went to my GP, who gave me some ADs. I took them home, sat and looked at them for hours, but in the end, I knew I wasn't clinically depressed, I was just unhappy. And there is a world of difference.

Don't go there, if you can possibly help it.

Itsnotover · 21/12/2021 01:41

I disagree with the negative prejudices that people have about SSRI medications. They can help enormously and make the difference between functioning and not functioning.

@Psm92 I'd suggest you talk to your GP. They will do an assessment to see if SSRIs could be right for you.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/12/2021 01:45

Sometimes we just have to go through periods of sadness, it's unfortunately a part of the human condition. I wouldn't recommend AD's to anyone unless to treat severe clinical depression. They are not magical happy pills.

Marianne1234 · 21/12/2021 01:45

I’ve never been on ADs myself. My husband however was given them to help him with anxiety. I wasn’t keen - I wanted them to resolve the anxiety itself, rather than just medicate it. But they were a lifesaver for him.

He said they cleared his head and let him see the wood for the trees. He was able to think rationally. And then he was able to phase them back out and has never needed to be on them again.

My opinion has changed.

Notnastypasty · 21/12/2021 01:49

They definitely helped me when my husband left. It was still hard, I still grieved and cried but I was able to function, work, look after my child and move on - they took the edge off. Hugs to you.

Monty27 · 21/12/2021 01:50

OP I'm sorry for your break up. You sound heartbroken.
Anti depressants don't cure heartbreak. It's different to depression. You don't sound depressed.

whysoserious123 · 21/12/2021 02:00

Call the GP that's the only suitable advice to folllow

urbanbuddha · 21/12/2021 05:35

I had this and went to see my GP. He described it as a "life crisis" and said I would get through it and emerge stronger for the next life crisis. He was right. Keep in touch with your friends and stay busy. I know it sounds daft, but try and dance every day.

Dozer · 21/12/2021 05:46

If it’s early days, eg weeks or just a few months, would wait a bit and do the recommended things to recover. If it’s been many months, or you still feel like this at that point, you could try counselling or yes, seek advice from a GP.

Many years ago I became depressed after a break up of a long term relationship, was still in a bad way six months later. My poor mental health at the time contributed to some issues with loneliness, risk taking, alcohol, new sexual relationships, friendships, work, physical and longer term mental health. I regret not seeking professional help.

Terribleluck · 21/12/2021 05:52

Sometimes they work as placebo effect.. however many MH professionals (including a psychiatrist) have told me that in reality antidepressants are for physiological depression whereas environmental, situational, and temporary types are best treated with therapy, mindfulness, and/or self help. My GP sent me antidepressants for years. I was generally happy/ok but had bad day every now and then. After years of actually not seeing absolutely any difference, I started to look for answers (that's how mind referred me to a psychiatrist), him and a few other professionals later concluded that the best course of action if I ever felt on edge was fast action diazepam type medications

BiscuitLess · 21/12/2021 06:14

I would speak with your GP as sometimes these difficult events can be the tipping point for clinical depression. Happened to me - GP did an assessment and said I had been on edge of it for a while and the life event was the final straw. Look at NHS checklist for clinical depression and see how many of these you tick. I ticked most of them.

The ADs really helped me. They blunted my emotions so I was incapable of feeling the really bad emotions - it enabled me to get my life back on track and start functioning again. Felt balanced and in equilibrium.

pixietinkdust · 21/12/2021 06:17

OP I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. And I empathise massively; I’ve just gone through a similar breakup, 2 x house moves and all the logistical nightmare that come with separating a combined life. I’m now 5 weeks in and finally starting to function better. At about 1.5 weeks I went to see my GP as I genuinely felt like I couldn’t cope and she was pretty frank about the fact that medicating sadness is the wrong way to go. She did give me some sleeping tablets (which I am no longer taking - proof it does get better) and said if I still wasn’t coping she could potentially prescribe some beta blockers.

Sadness is a real emotion, one which we seem to programme ourselves to think we shouldn’t feel. My honest advice is to face the feelings, do the crying, feeling hopeless and alone etc. Only then can you actually heal to come out of the other side. I’m definitely not there yet but time passed is helping.

Hope you’re ok x

YourenutsmiLord · 21/12/2021 06:18

If the GP prescribes them I would think it will be for a limited period. See what your GP says.

Soontobe60 · 21/12/2021 06:23

@Itsnotover

I disagree with the negative prejudices that people have about SSRI medications. They can help enormously and make the difference between functioning and not functioning.

@Psm92 I'd suggest you talk to your GP. They will do an assessment to see if SSRIs could be right for you.

There’s an interesting article in the Times about the use of ADs. Basically, it states that they should be used as a last resort, that if used inappropriately (which this would be) they will have no impact. We are all so aware now of our changing states of mind that we seem to automatically assume we need to ‘treat’ any negative emotions. But certain levels of stress / anxiety and sadness as a reaction to situations is perfectly normal. Talking therapies are much better in most cases, and allowing our bodies and minds to take time to heal. Of course we’re going to feel sadness when a relationship breaks down, but we all know that it will pass in time. Taking drugs to numb the feelings can be counter productive.

NynaeveSedai · 21/12/2021 06:41

I don't think that's a good idea. They can take 6-12 weeks to start working and then you have to deal with withdrawal when you come off them. I don't think it will help really.

Doona · 21/12/2021 06:46

The thing is, they dull ALL your emotions, and you need your emotions to build your life up again, which you will.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 21/12/2021 06:46

My gp prescribed them for making me feel more able to cope with sadness.
I queried it, and he said that when someone is struggling for a fair while, it can affect the balance of brain, and tip over into clinical depression.
I don't think there is anything to gain by trying to tough it out, if something will help.

justaddcandlelight · 21/12/2021 06:48

Firstly, I'm sorry to read that you've gone through such a rough time, factor in we're still in the midst of a global pandemic (long term conscious and unconscious stress) and no wonder you're feel so low.
There are some strange responses on here to mental well-being. I'd encourage you to make an appointment with your GP and go from there. It's better to see the signs and make a plan before they develop further.

isthismylifenow · 21/12/2021 06:52

Sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time OP. I agree with the other posters, there is a difference between clinical depression and battling due to your situation. I did go on to AD after a bad relationship, but tbh they did not do a thing for me. I only had side affects which made things worse, so I still had to deal with the blow I had and the side affects of the medication.

You do have to pick yourself up and carry in. You can download some apps for meditation, some sleep stories, getting out in the fresh air each day, and if you can, just do something you wouldn't normally do. Also look at the app called Woebot, it is really useful.

I know heartbreak feels endless and some people just don't know how debilitating it can be.

I really would try to avoid the AD route as much as possible, but there are otc meds you can take short term (rescue remedy, biral etc. I'm not in the UK so I just mention I couple we get)

Fidgety31 · 21/12/2021 07:39

You’d be better off paying for a counsellor to help you come to terms with everything and process your emotions

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/12/2021 07:44

I was prescribed anti-depressants for a situational depression/anxiety and they did help - I was a good year into the situation though and was in therapy but the situation was absolutely overwhelming. The medication helped take the edge off my overwhelming feelings and deal with the underlying issues while staying functional.

I continued with therapy and cane off them a year later. I won’t lie, coming off them was really brutal - I can see how people end up in them for years because coming off them felt like I was relapsing, holding the thought in my head that it was withdrawal helped me get through it but it took a good 2 months to get out of my system. Much longer than anticipated and while I know it helped the withdrawal would make me reluctant to use medication again.

I’m a psychotherapist so would always advocate talking therapies before medication but if it’s been a while, and therapy is just holding you steady (as in you’re not seeing improvement after a few months), medication can be helpful. Do you know what your GPS attitude is towards mental health?

BigHeartyTruffle · 21/12/2021 07:52

I went through a very traumatic time with my health during my 20s and taking ADs for a year gave me the emotional headspace I needed to get my life back on track. I have not regretted it for a moment. Definitely speak to your GP and decide what is right for you.

Also they don’t take 8-12 weeks to start working.

gofg · 21/12/2021 08:01

I agree that you would be better off waiting and trying to work through the sadness by yourself first. Everyone goes through heartache at some time in their life, and I don't believe in reaching for pills to try and deal with it. I hope things look better soon, but if they don't I think counselling would be a better first option.

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