Antidepressants to take the edge off heartbreak

[Psm92]

I recently went through a devastating breakup and was completely blindsided by it. I have also suffered a pretty big health challenge and some setbacks at work and am really struggling to get past the hopeless catatonic feeling. I miss my ex desperately, and crave the constant support and love he provided. He wasn't a bad person at all so I can't even console myself that I deserve better. I'm finding it really hard to deal with things, even though I am trying to stay engaged and see friends etc.

I know many caution against it but is it likely that antidepressants could take the edge off this deep sadness and just let me function better for a while? I'm not particularly anxious, so it would be just to treat the hopelessly sad/grieving feeling. Thoughts appreciated x

Definitely not an either/or argument BUT it's not at exact science to find what works. I definitely work a lot better with short term solutions like diazepam.

No.
Pharmaceutical drugs aren't the answer. You have to live through it to come out stronger.

That seems closed minded to me.
There is no stigma in needing a hand sometimes.

When my marriage ended the sadness I felt was so all consuming that I just couldn't imagine ever feeling normal again. Citalopram was a complete life saver for me. It numbed the feelings of grief and sadness and helped me to recover.

@Diana8

No. Pharmaceutical drugs aren't the answer. You have to live through it to come out stronger.

Would you take a painkiller for physical pain? Why not mental pain?

@Diana8

No. Pharmaceutical drugs aren't the answer. You have to live through it to come out stronger.

Maybe not for this situation but sometimes you need the drugs in order to live. I do, I've been on citalopram on and off since I was 16 because my brain needs them

@Doona they don’t dull all of your emotions - this is incredibly wrong information to give.
They help you regulate your emotions so you don’t get them to the extremes.

Yes ADs will help. But you will have to feel the pain sometime. So ADs will just put off the inevitable

I take AD’s for anxiety and I’m the first one to say yes take them - but I feel like in this situation it’s maybe not the best.
I can’t pin point exactly why I thinking that way but I do think that this is something that AD’s won’t help with.

I know that without taking mine I would not be able to cope with everyday anxiety, but I feel like maybe talking therapy might be a place to start for you?

I think you’ll find anyway that if you go to the doctor you might not even be allowed to start taking them without having signed up for some kind of therapy first.

I do think it’s important to note that they’re not just instant ‘pain relief’. It can take numerous tries to find one that works best for you and this can involve weeks of side effects when you start and withdrawal effects when you stop to try another one. It took me nearly a year to find one that worked best for me and honestly, I think that this might be something that is better worked through by trying something else first

Most depression is reactive and accounts for approximately 3/4 of people with depression, clinical depression with no life events is less common.
I think it depends on how long it goes on tbh, a grief reaction to a relationship ending is completely normal. If you're still struggling months later you should see your GP, and antidepressants can be helpful.
However you said it was a recent break up so it's too soon to say if you're going to need some extra helppart of the process in order for you to be able to eventually file it away as a past event.

Sorry posted before I could finish ...but you get my drift.

For the people that have taken ADs after a breakup to get through it - how did you find coming off them? Did you have very intense withdrawal symptoms? Did the depression simply return?

Mine wasn't a break up, I was bereaved, and had the thought that I would have to go through it, as it is part of life.
I just found I couldn't, though.

I took them for around 8 months or so, then stopped.

I have gone back onto them, but then I am still bereaved, but it helps me to keep a lid on my grief.

Really sorry to hear that. Did the intensity of emotional pain come straight back once you stopped taking them?

No, it took a good few months.
It takes a while to realise that you're in danger of sinking again, I think.

It's like the equivalent of having heavy weights on your shoulders, it gets slowly harder to carry.

For you though, different circumstances.

You could always have a word with a pharmacist, first.
Drugs are their forte.

I still think you may find differing opinions though.

So many people poo poo-ing meds here @Psm92 your doctor is your first port of call . In the area I live in, your GP has to refer you to a MH specialist and they discuss all of this with you in detail before deciding what is the best route . For myself and many others I know they have provided that helping hand of focus which has enabled normal life to return . I personally think that when people talk about self care and bubble baths and feeding birds etc ( sorry whoever that was ) they really have no idea of what it can be like when you cannot even get out of bed or stay awake .

@Psm92

For the people that have taken ADs after a breakup to get through it - how did you find coming off them? Did you have very intense withdrawal symptoms? Did the depression simply return?

I was on SSRIs and followed the doctor's advice when coming off them - the level was lowered first - and by the time I stopped I can't say I noticed the side effects that can sometimes appear. By that point I was feeling much better thanks to decent therapy and having got into the habit of exercise, self-care etc. It didn't mean that I just skipped the heartbreak and came out the other side laughing - you still have to get your head round whatever crap came up during the breakup - but I never went back to the stage of not sleeping for 48 hours or anything like that.

@IamGusFring

So many people poo poo-ing meds here *@Psm92* your doctor is your first port of call . In the area I live in, your GP has to refer you to a MH specialist and they discuss all of this with you in detail before deciding what is the best route . For myself and many others I know they have provided that helping hand of focus which has enabled normal life to return . I personally think that when people talk about self care and bubble baths and feeding birds etc ( sorry whoever that was ) they really have no idea of what it can be like when you cannot even get out of bed or stay awake .

Hi, that was me, and I can assure you I had almost a decade of being unable to get out of bed. nd then another decade on ADs which, ironically left me unable to get out of bed because I was so drugged up. What I had never done in my life was properly take care of myself, every day, with purpose and focus. I started to do that and have been off ADs for 5 years now, feeling happier and saner and stronger than ever. Proper self care is hard work but it does have a profound effect on your wellbeing. And I promise you, I know how hard it is to make that start when you can't face getting up in the morning, let alone getting dressed or out of the house.

"I can assure you I had almost a decade of being unable to get out of bed. nd then another decade on ADs which, ironically left me unable to get out of bed because I was so drugged up."

I'm really sorry to hear you had such a tough time but why on earth did you not see someone about getting your dose adjusted or trying a different AD if you were so "drugged up" you couldn't get up?

I feel like posts like that really aren't helpful in terms of helping people seek whatever help is appropriate to them, whether its ADs or exercise or yoga or whatever. I know 5 people who take ADs as part of their daily routine and it's helped all of them immensely in allowing them to live a healthy and active life, not a single "drugged up" zombie amongst any of them.