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Original poster

Antidepressants to take the edge off heartbreak

94 replies

Psm92 · 21/12/2021 01:08

I recently went through a devastating breakup and was completely blindsided by it. I have also suffered a pretty big health challenge and some setbacks at work and am really struggling to get past the hopeless catatonic feeling. I miss my ex desperately, and crave the constant support and love he provided. He wasn't a bad person at all so I can't even console myself that I deserve better. I'm finding it really hard to deal with things, even though I am trying to stay engaged and see friends etc.

I know many caution against it but is it likely that antidepressants could take the edge off this deep sadness and just let me function better for a while? I'm not particularly anxious, so it would be just to treat the hopelessly sad/grieving feeling. Thoughts appreciated x

OP posts:
itsallgoodinthehood · 21/12/2021 14:07

Ho for it . BUT look at therapy as to why you are struggling so much . Best of luck x

Original poster
Psm92 · 21/12/2021 14:22

Thanks! I'm not really experiencing anxiety due to the breakup though - just a deep deep sadness and pining for him and not being able to accept it's over for good. Would ADs help with that?

OP posts:
CoopsMalloops · 21/12/2021 14:36

Yes. I was prescribed citalopram, it’s an SSRI.

Moonface123 · 21/12/2021 14:38

Its your decision, It may offer temporary relief, but its not a cure.
Everything you go through strenghtens you, as humans we are capable of coping with immense emotional pain, it can teach you many lessons the most important one being able to self sooth yourself. Once you have mastered that you feel much more confident to deal with anything life throws at you, so you lose alot of the fear and anxiety. We are not here just to experiance the good, but a whole kalidescope of emotions, and as uncomfortable as that may feel our bodies are well equipped to deal with it.
There is alot of information on how to build emotional, physicall and mental resilence online. It requires more effort than taking a pill, but the rewards will stay with you forever.

deeplyambivalent · 21/12/2021 15:08

OP, I was in pretty much exactly the situation you describe, soldiered on for another 8 months until I proper broke down. In the end I went on escitalopram and it helped massively, including helping my attention span at work and improving my performance.

There's nothing wrong with some symptomatic relief for 6-12 months, especially if you pair that with some talking therapy and whatever other life changes you can make to improve your situation.

ftw163532 · 21/12/2021 15:11

@Psm92

Thanks! I'm not really experiencing anxiety due to the breakup though - just a deep deep sadness and pining for him and not being able to accept it's over for good. Would ADs help with that?
Those are normal feelings not a mental disorder.
AlbertBridge · 21/12/2021 15:14

Actually SSRI antidepressants are extremely effective against heartbreak. One of the things that happens when we fall in love us our serotonin levels drop - that gives us the slightly obsessive feeling. By raising your serotonin with an SSRI you'd feel much less bothered.

Also, painkillers gage been proven to relieve emotional pain. Take 2 paracetamol (if you can have that) and see how you feel.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2021 16:00

I started SSRI after a horrible split
I wasn’t coping and had two kids to raise
I love them
I’m me , no change !
But I don’t have such dark thoughts

HibiscusIsland · 21/12/2021 16:03

I was given Amitriptyline after dh died to help me sleep and it also works as an antidepressant. Only a low dose but it was good.

me4real · 21/12/2021 17:28

I'm not really experiencing anxiety due to the breakup though - just a deep deep sadness and pining for him and not being able to accept it's over for good. Would ADs help with that?

@Psm92 Antidepressants are primarily/originally for depression of course. x

If you speak to your GP on the phone @Psm92 , they will triage you. They'll see you if they need to, but you mightn't even have to go in, in the current Corona situation, unless you prefer to speak to them face to face.

me4real · 21/12/2021 17:32

I went on ADs after a breakup once, I was so devastated and I still had to see him around sometimes as we were at the same university.

The GP said it can be like a bereavement (which obviously makes a lot of people very sad or depressed.)

Original poster
Psm92 · 21/12/2021 17:44

Did they help significantly? Which AD were you on?

OP posts:
me4real · 21/12/2021 17:48

@Psm92 I've tried various ones over the years. Try one and if you don't get the results you want and still aren't doing as well as you hoped for, go back so they can try another. There are loads that they can try. I think Sertraline was the one I found most helpful.

me4real · 21/12/2021 17:49

Definitely helped- stopped me brooding/thinking about it so much of the time.

gofg · 21/12/2021 19:25

I'm not really experiencing anxiety due to the breakup though - just a deep deep sadness and pining for him and not being able to accept it's over for good. Would ADs help with that?

That is a completely normal reaction, and honestly it would be better to just work through it. That's what the majority of people do. How do you think people cope with the death of a loved one?

gofg · 21/12/2021 19:27

Well said @Moonface123. Have we really become a society where when life doesn't run according to plan we instantly reach for a pill?

Original poster
Psm92 · 21/12/2021 19:39

I'm a bit confused by some of these types o comments. When our physical health suffers there are few reservations about medicating. If life circumstances cause a particularly low period, not sure what the objection is to treating that as well.

OP posts:
Terribleluck · 21/12/2021 19:56

OP that's because antidepressants don't have an immediate effect and they're proven to be best for moderate to severe depression. You also have to be able to point out what's the cause of it i.e. have you always suffered from low.moods and the break has just exacerbated the symptoms, etc... Also, depression believe it or not isn't that easy to diagnose. A few weeks ago I spoke to a MH professional, and I told him that a few other professionals have given up on me when I told them that I had no real self worth/esteem issues. He then explained that depression is (thanks to cuts and lack of experience) as this black and white condition when it's in reality a wide spectrum of symptoms. If you're open minded there are other ways to make you feel better, the brain is a wonderful thing and sometimes it does need help to balance the "imbalance" but sometimes you can help your brain with simple actions BUT like with everything else you have to be open about it.

WhoppingBigBackside · 21/12/2021 20:09

It's because of something like:

I had a bad split with a boyfriend. I was floored by what happened and wasn't really funtioning properly, but deep down there was no medical condition to treat.
The heartbreak wasn't a mental health condition but an emotional condition that had a definite cause.

I could have seen a GP for something on prescription but I knew that wasn't the solution.

I'm not a medic or psychologist but I try to associate why I am feeling, and what caused it, how I can address it. (e,.g. I feel suicidal because I was woken in the early hours and the broken sleep makes me feel like that, I'll feel better tomorrow)

When I was brokenhearted, it was caused by having been treated badly by a vile man. No pill could change that. Time was what would heal me.

If it is something I can do something about it, I'd rather do that than take a pill. That's me. See your GP

Doona · 21/12/2021 20:37

@Psm92

I'm a bit confused by some of these types o comments. When our physical health suffers there are few reservations about medicating. If life circumstances cause a particularly low period, not sure what the objection is to treating that as well.
It's like, if you go for a run and are out of breath, you don't need asthma medication. Whereas when an asthmatic is out if breath, they do need it. Maybe it wouldn't even work to help you breathe, and even if it did it wouldn't be worth the side effects because you'll regain your breath with rest.
Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/12/2021 20:43

Have we really become a society where when life doesn't run according to plan we instantly reach for a pill?

Took me 46 years to start SSRI
Despite multiple mental health dips and counsellors from 19 onwards

I’m never giving them up 😁

RobertSmithsLipstick · 21/12/2021 20:48

We reach for a pill if our bodies aren't allowing us to live the fullest life we can.
Why wouldn't we?
Painkillers, stronger ones if they don't work - nobody tells us to just try hobbling or to use a wheelchair sooner than take pills.
If something can help you over physical or emotional pain, for the short, medium, or long term, then why not take them?

WhoppingBigBackside · 21/12/2021 20:55

Everything is medicalised.

When a close relative died I felt grief but that is a normal human emotion, not a MH issue

When my heart was broken, it was an emotion caused by a breakkup, not a MH condition.

If I was having MH problems, I'd get help

me4real · 21/12/2021 20:57

People are talking like it's an either/or. Medication is just one approach OP could use, she could do other stuff too if she wanted, or when she feels in a place where she's able to, she can work on self improvement to try and build up any part of herself- if that's what she feels she wants or needs.

Medication can also help people engage with therapy.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 21/12/2021 21:07

I would imagine that professional people are best placed to advise what is and isn't a medical problem, but the trouble is, when you're grief stricken, it's hard to function enough to do the most basic things, let alone exercise, meditate and all of that.
Once your mind is on a more even keel, them the other stuff is infinitely more attainable.