I'm 26 and my boyfriend of 3 and and a half years is 27. To get straight to the point, my boyfriend is currently not working and has not kept a job for longer than a few months his entire life and the entire time we've been together thus far.
I can count on 1 hand the number of jobs he's had since we've been together. His excuse is always "I don't want to work somewhere I don't like" and I completely understand that and feel the same way, but the issue is, he's not eveb trying nor is he giving anything a chance.
The problem is, he says he'll apply to jobs and then NEVER does. He tells me he won't even attempt to try certain jobs because he doesn't think he'll like them. I don't even remember the last time he had a job. I believe it's been since April of this year.
I had a job long term as a manager that I loved but I quit that in February because the new manager was awful and my mental health couldn't take it anymore. Since then I've had a few jobs and I apply to jobs all the time and I'm doing doordash as well to make up for it the best I can. So I know I'm not exactly one to talk but I TRY, I've worked, I try to do what I can.
Our living situation has been taking a turn for the worst lately. My cousin is my tenant so we luckily only pay $200 for rent which is fantastic and bills are fairly cheap too. It's just hard because we have 2 large breed dogs and neither of us have full time jobs so between bills, pets, food, and gas for vehicles, we are struggling bad.
I'm doing what I can to apply to jobs. I'm working full time doing doordash when I can, but my boyfriend barely tries. He even has a doordash driver account and when I ask if he wants to do it together, he tells me he's not in the mood. Mind you, while I'm doing all this, he spends allllll day playing video games, watching tv, and going hunting. He doesn't clean the house, he doesn't look for jobs, he's been offered jobs he says he'll apply to and never does, etc.
Everytime I complain about financial stress, his response is "we'll figure it out, we always do." My problem is, I don't want to just figure it out. I want to be comfortable. I have a LOT of mental health issues and this stress just makes things ten times worse.
Another thing, when I bring up how he needs to find a job, or complain that he doesn't work, he instead throws it in my face that I didn't work for a short period in between the few jobs I had and doordash. I'm not perfect in this and can and try to do better, but that's the issue, I'm TRYING. He's not even attempting to. I took care of him for over 2 years of our relationship and now that I'm not currently working full time like I was, he's using that as a rebuttal for our arguments about money.
I can't even talk to him because he turns it around on me or gets upset and walks away. He won't talk to me. He has no sense of independence, he is lazy, and seems to just not want to work or do anything with his life.
It's taking a toll on our relationship and myself in general. I don't want to live like this anymore. What can I say or do to try to talk sense in him? What should I do if he doesn't listen or doesn't try? Please, I'm desperate. I don't want to live like this anymore and I feel like I'm running out of solutions.