Would you agree an 8:30pm meet time for 2nd date?!

[Livinlalidavoca]

So I am due to go on a second date tomorrow with someone from a dating app. The first date we did a daytime cocktail which was nice and we clicked really well.

Tomorrow he wants to meet at 8:30pm. It'll be another drink, but bearing in mind we both have to drive to where we're meeting as we don't live close.

8:30 seems really late to me but I don't know if I'm just feeling old and antisocial?! We're 32 and 40 if that helps.

8:30 seems a bit late for a Saturday, does he work weekends and finishes late ?

8.30pm is fairly standard going out time, isn’t it?

I wouldn't, too late for me and I'd wonder if he wanted it to start late to allow for sex more easily...but I'm cynical and like to be in bed by 9! I'm 27 - not an age thing!

It seems fine to me. It gives you time to have dinner at home then meet up for a drink.

8.30 seems really late?!

Seems like a standard date time to me.

You cant be meeting for a drink if you're driving.
Is it a coffee shop?

8.30 isnt late for a date. That's really a normal time.

I would just suggest an earlier start time though - if he's got a reason then fair enough, if he is disgusted and thinks 8.30 is a standard start time then you might not be well suited (I wouldn't be well suited with him!), it lets you see if he is strangely "everything must be my way" or not

It only seems late because it’s winter and night starts at about 2pm. In the summer you’d have acres of evening ahead. If you’re put off by a not-that-unusual date time, are you that into him?

Are you driving or are you drinking?

@Itsalmostanaccessory

You cant be meeting for a drink if you're driving. Is it a coffee shop?

8.30 isnt late for a date. That's really a normal time.

You can buy non alcoholic drinks in bars and pubs, too.

I have kids and my youngest gets up at 5.30am but if we have a babysitter and go out, we don’t leave until after 8pm when the children are all in bed! Why is 8.30pm a problem if you don’t have to be up early in the morning? Or even if you do?

Sounds about right for a drink date. I’d assume he’s thought you’ll both have day plans, maybe want a pre date shower/freshen up, and be eating around 7/7.30 before you meet up.

Its late for a 2nd date. But you need to be sure of yourself with men, OP. If its too late for you then say so/change the date/time. Why do you need to ask anyone else?

& Why 2nd guess yourself over a man you dont even really know anyway? The timings obviously bother you so change and be done with it.

8:30 is a normal time for me to book a restaurant, so it seems a perfectly reasonable time for a date.

I think he's chosen that time to make sure there's no ambiguity about whether it's drinks or dinner - any earlier and I'd assume we were eating, but 8.30 says 'post dinner drinks' to me. If you were determined to look for the worst you could see that as a bit cheap or maybe subscribe to your 'minimum pre-sex effort' theory, but to be honest I think that would be a bit paranoid.

You’re allowed to counter-offer with: “Too late for me! Can you do 7.30?”

Do nothing you are not comfortable with.

IMO though, while 8.30pm is perfectly fine for meeting up, it would irk me to be asked out on Saturday eve just for a late drink and not dinner. It will prevent you from making proper evening plans with someone else, and I would personally find it a bit presumptuous and personally wouldn’t waste my Sat eve driving to somewhere far away for just a drink (but then you wouldn’t even be able to drink). He should ask you to dinner.

Hmmm 8.30 seems late to me and i live in a big city and do go out out quite a bit! Mid 30s here. Especially if it's just a drink. At that time I expect dinner because i'd be starving. Dates for me are normally drinks anytime between 6.30-7.30 on a weekday to allow for later work finishes, and normally 6.30-7 starts on a Sat night.

Is he just coming off a shift? In which case it's ok. But you could just ask to make it 7.30 instead and see what he says.

I've had only one date where the guy suggested 8.30 drinks and it really spoilt the evening tbh. Because it's clear he had been out with mates before hand and tried to fit me in. But was already a bit drunk when he showed up, and it wasted most of my evening waiting for this crummy date. I'd only make allowances if he was coming off work and needed time to get ready, travel etc.

8.30 is a completely normal time!

If it’s dinner as well (i just love food 😂and wouldn’t come out at that time only for drinks if it’s a second date) that is totally normal, my perception though tbh….

I dont think it's too late but I'd expect dinner to be involved. (But then I regularly eat around 8.00). A drink suggests less seriousness I guess, but then it's only date 2. Maybe he doesn't feel he can withstand too many hours with you yet? It would be more awkward to meet at 7.00 and then say he had to leave at 9.00. No need to imbibe alcohol unless you want to. No need to take it any further unless you want to either, regardless of any intentions he might have.

8.30pm is a reasonable time for a date. If it doesn't suit you it's also reasonable to suggest a different time.

Going somewhere a driving distance away only to have one or two drinks (as presumably you need to drive home again) and therefore only stay out for a short time (or commit to soft drinks if you want to stay out later) seems a bit of a faff.

Having said that it's not a bad strategy for a second date - you don't necessarily want to stay out for hours with someone you barely know. This means there's no confusion about the date ending in a certain timeframe and you know it'll be a short one beforehand. This kind of self-imposed restraint will be useful to know whether you want a third date - you'll leave after a couple of drinks and if you're OK with that then it's probably not a goer. But if you leave and feel annoyed that you couldn't stay longer, that's a good sign.

Maybe he has something on all day tomorrow (eg hiking or cycling or similar) that takes up most of the day time. I guess you could just ask him to change the time rather than trying to work out if it's in some way suspicious.

When I am heading for the last train home at 1130 hoards of young people are arriving into town so I just assumed those younger than me routinely met later. If it doesn't suit you just tell him.

I don't think 8.30 is late at all! Goodness me, I used to live in a country where that was considered a very early time for dinner. Much earlier than that is an awkward time for a drinks date - how would you have time to have dinner, get ready and travel if you were meeting at 7pm?

He wants a shag. Though saying that you are both driving...

I like to have a couple when I am out so don't get driving to dates but that's me.