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Original poster

Would you agree an 8:30pm meet time for 2nd date?!

103 replies

Livinlalidavoca · 10/12/2021 11:36

So I am due to go on a second date tomorrow with someone from a dating app. The first date we did a daytime cocktail which was nice and we clicked really well.

Tomorrow he wants to meet at 8:30pm. It'll be another drink, but bearing in mind we both have to drive to where we're meeting as we don't live close.

8:30 seems really late to me but I don't know if I'm just feeling old and antisocial?! We're 32 and 40 if that helps.

OP posts:
IamGusFring · 11/12/2021 10:18

@gannett You must have different expectations of someone than me . Someone should be dying to meet me and 8.30 pm suggests to me that he's not . There's no need to bring my mental capability into this - it would be like me saying you have low standards .

ilssagain · 11/12/2021 10:35

I don't think 8.30 pm would be too late if you were living in the same town and didn't have to drive anywhere.
But it's the issue of needing to drive somewhere (how far away is it) and then having to drive back late at night. And going out for a "drink" in those circumstances is inappropriate - you can't drink.... and although pubs/bars serve plenty of soft drinks it seems like a lot of effort for not a lot really.

If it doesn't work for you, ask him to meet earlier and see what happens.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 11/12/2021 10:38

I agree with others, 8.30 is making it clear it’s for drinks not dinner and drinks.
Does he work Saturdays?

Original poster
Livinlalidavoca · 11/12/2021 10:55

Wow I wasn't expecting so many replies but great to see the different perspectives!

For those that asked, no he doesn't work Saturdays. He said he's quite busy this weekend so I assume he's off doing something else first.

I think it's the driving back late at night that's putting me off and that I'll have to be on soft drinks.

Anyway, I've said yes now although I'm off to get my covid booster now so based on how everyone else I know has reacted to it, I may be crying off anyway!

OP posts:
CrimbleCrumble1 · 11/12/2021 10:58

If the date goes well you could suggest the third date time and venue.

gannett · 11/12/2021 11:40

[quote IamGusFring]@gannett You must have different expectations of someone than me . Someone should be dying to meet me and 8.30 pm suggests to me that he's not . There's no need to bring my mental capability into this - it would be like me saying you have low standards .[/quote]
The time of a date has zero correlation to how much someone wants to see you.

AlCalavicci · 11/12/2021 13:04

@Livinlalidavoca
You do know that you will have to report back now and let us know how you date went dont you Grin Wink
I hope you have a great night !

ilssagain · 11/12/2021 15:39

Anyway, I've said yes now although I'm off to get my covid booster now so based on how everyone else I know has reacted to it, I may be crying off anyway!

Do let us know how you get on!
However, I was really ill after my Covid booster, starting just half an hour after the injection and I was in bed for two days... no way would I have been capable of meeting anyone for drinks!

Original poster
Livinlalidavoca · 12/12/2021 08:11

@ilssagain @AlCalavicci

Well ladies, I went and it was an OK evening but won't be seeing him again. Never been on a 2nd date where the guy seems so unattracted to me. No sitting close, didn't get up to greet me when I arrived, no hug goodbye (had a coldsore so totally understand why he wouldn't kiss me). No message to check I'd got home OK. And he kept getting our conversation confused with someone else he'd been on a date with which by the 4th time was starting to become off putting.

Oh well!!

OP posts:
IamGusFring · 12/12/2021 09:55

Yup as I suspected and said . He had probably already been on a couple earlier that evening . Sorry @Livinlalidavoca

FrancescaContini · 12/12/2021 09:57

Erm, this is a normal time for meeting in the evening.

FrancescaContini · 12/12/2021 09:58

Ah sorry 😣 just read your update! Yeah, keeping you on the back burner. Nasty.

me4real · 12/12/2021 18:39

@Livinlalidavoca Sorry to hear that. That sounds bad. Next!

ElfCalavicci · 12/12/2021 19:32

@Livinlalidavoca Aww sorry it did not go well for you , it sounds like he just was not interested in you .
His loss eh

ilssagain · 12/12/2021 20:37

Thanks for updating..
At least you know it's a waste of time pursuing that one.
Onwards and upwards

AryaStarkWolf · 13/12/2021 10:38

[quote Livinlalidavoca]**@ilssagain* @AlCalavicci*

Well ladies, I went and it was an OK evening but won't be seeing him again. Never been on a 2nd date where the guy seems so unattracted to me. No sitting close, didn't get up to greet me when I arrived, no hug goodbye (had a coldsore so totally understand why he wouldn't kiss me). No message to check I'd got home OK. And he kept getting our conversation confused with someone else he'd been on a date with which by the 4th time was starting to become off putting.

Oh well!![/quote]
Oh dear, why did he even bother? I'd be pissed off that he wasted your time coming out at all

AryaStarkWolf · 13/12/2021 10:39

@IamGusFring

Yup as I suspected and said . He had probably already been on a couple earlier that evening . Sorry *@Livinlalidavoca*
That actually doesn't prove that he'd been on a date earlier that evening at all, just that he'd been dating in general
StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 13/12/2021 10:51

@IamGusFring

Yup as I suspected and said . He had probably already been on a couple earlier that evening . Sorry *@Livinlalidavoca*
As I suspected and said, you talk a lot of nonsense. How many men are going on three dates in one evening??
CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/12/2021 11:19

StrychnineInTheSandwiches I don’t know about the evening but my friend used to line up an afternoon of coffee first and second dates with different women. He’d be literally buzzing by the end of the afternooon.

IamGusFring · 13/12/2021 11:33

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches you obviously don't know very much about the world of OLD . Read the OLD thread on here if you don't believe me - there are women on there going from date to date in the one day .

IamGusFring · 13/12/2021 11:35

@AryaStarkWolf it doesn't even prove that he was dating in general - I said it was probable .

AryaStarkWolf · 13/12/2021 11:38

[quote IamGusFring]@AryaStarkWolf it doesn't even prove that he was dating in general - I said it was probable .[/quote]
Well it does prove that because the Op specifically said he was getting their conversations confused with another person he'd been dating :p

I don't maybe I'm just old or out of touch but ime 8:30pm is a pretty standard time to meet someone for a drink

thickthighs73 · 13/12/2021 11:53

[quote Livinlalidavoca]**@ilssagain* @AlCalavicci*

Well ladies, I went and it was an OK evening but won't be seeing him again. Never been on a 2nd date where the guy seems so unattracted to me. No sitting close, didn't get up to greet me when I arrived, no hug goodbye (had a coldsore so totally understand why he wouldn't kiss me). No message to check I'd got home OK. And he kept getting our conversation confused with someone else he'd been on a date with which by the 4th time was starting to become off putting.

Oh well!![/quote]
Sounds like he had a lucky escape you sound like hard work

Original poster
Livinlalidavoca · 13/12/2021 12:05

@thickthighs73

Better hard work than a spiteful troll

OP posts:
ilssagain · 13/12/2021 12:10

Sounds like he had a lucky escape you sound like hard work

Eh?
He showed up and obviously wasn't interested. He didn't get up to greet her - so no basic manners. And kept getting her confused with someone else he was dating.
OP had to drive quite a distance from where she lived for that. He shouldn't have wasted her time by arranging a second date just to behave like that.

"Hard work" - bloody hell. Why are women labelled as hard work for expecting some basic respect from a man they are on a date with?