OLD what fo you think when men say 'no drama' in their profiles

[Fatherliamdeliverance]

Hi,

I've been OLD a while. This is a really common thing men write in their profiles, sometimes just that (I don't know if women do too).

I was just interested to see if I was alone in finding this a bit offputting. Now, I'm sure people have all had their share of relationship issues. Nobody on the apps are unscathed by this age (30s/40s). However to me, this 'no drama' business suggests that someone is just looking for a quiet life and doesn't want to ever be questioned or challenged, and doing so is likely to constitute 'drama'.

I have to say I find it a bit misogynistic, as if to say, a woman's response to any concerns would be histrionic rather than valid.

Has anyone else got a view on this? I have to say it's caused me to swipe left before.

No drama - "I have very low emotional intelligence so don't expect any engagement or support from me if you show any sort of emotion, except for happy and horny. If you do I will call you unhinged/hormonal/a psycho. But I will behave however I like and express myself however I like and you aren't allowed to object. Because I am DA MAN".

And what about 'traditional values'

'I believe women are for cooking, cleaning, childcare and sex whenever their partner wants it.'

'Men can't help the fact they want more sex than women'.

Shit like that. Ugh...

Maybe my past issues catching up with me, but I interpret it as, "no getting angry when you find out I have a wife/fiancée/girlfriend or just that I like to have sex with other people". I swipe left.

Some funny ones here!

The phrase I always wondered about was “doesn’t take life seriously”. What is that meant to mean? A ‘laugh a minute’, or an empty-headed simpleton or couldn’t care less about anyone or anything? . Always puzzled me that one. “No drama” always signalled not v bright to me and probably doesn’t even like women in general or in particular—but maybe needs them for sex—

Another phrase that automatically gets a left swipe…. ‘I don’t really know what to put here…..’ 🙄🙄🙄

Just seen a good example now: 'doesn't do well with unnecessary drama' poor, delicate flower!

“Cool girls wanted, apply within”

"Why do the nice guys never get picked?"

Urrggh!! Woe is me! The whole world is against him, but he's such a nice guy!

[quote Mermaidwaves]@Kippersfortea
Has it spot on![/quote]
Absolutely brilliant 👏

Selfish, misogynistic prick

It reads like he would only be happy if your mouth was shut and legs were open. One of those men that would shout at you for crying..gross.

Hmmm I never did OLD but 'no drama' wouldn't put me off as such.. Of course I might be naive.. I would understand this man is after someone who doesn't have children, complicated traumatic past that would affect any new relationship. Perhaps they are looking for a fun companion rather than 'they lived happily ever after'. I am sure there are women there who are after the same thing. At least the intentions are clear.

I assume the guy is a massive tit if he puts it in his profile.

And anyone with a list of "no this, no that..." just sounds negative and miserable, and like they're not willing to get to know people on an individual basis.

Misogynist, would never ever talk to a guy with ‘no drama’ in profile.

I know of a few women who are drama personified, I'm assuming they mean this type of woman.

Red flag.

Sounds like the type of men who think all women are 'crazy' and/or who spend their time complaining about having a psycho ex but never think that their own dodgy behaviour/the way they treat women might be the cause the 'drama'...

Avoid.

Perhaps they aren't for you. Perhaps they are fed up with the previous drama they have experienced from other women. It wouldn't see it as a bad thing. I know some very controlling women who I wouldn't want the drama of living with

They are obv a dick

I always find it slightly amusing when adults comment that they want No Drama. Firstly at a certain age you are more than capable of avoiding drama even in the most dramatic situations by not gnashing your teeth and wailing on Facebook to all and sundry, simply by virtue of being a bloody grown up. I mean I can't say I need to reference the word Drama on the grounds I just deal with whatever I need to as a grown up so drama doesn't exist in the first place because I'm old and tired and haven't got the patience.

If Susan down the road dislikes me I don't claim I want to stay out of it because I don't want Drama, I just stay the hell away from her and get on with my life without needing to talk to 2356 people in a variety of mediums about how I've been treated .

Anyone who needs to state No drama, either causes it, revels in it or is emotionally undeveloped and unable to behave like an adult. Handy that they post the red flags publicly though so you can avoid.

I'd assume they'd caused drama in previous relationships by being difficult and were hoping for someone subservient who'd put up with their difficult personality without question

@Mouseonmychair

Perhaps they aren't for you. Perhaps they are fed up with the previous drama they have experienced from other women. It wouldn't see it as a bad thing. I know some very controlling women who I wouldn't want the drama of living with

This can certainly be true - trouble is, the dramatic types don't think they're dramatic.

Nobody's out there saying to themselves "ooh, I'm a massive drama llama and was planning on picking a big fight on the daily –I won't approach this guy because he won't enjoy it."

It's like yelling "No rain!" at the sky.

In the meantime, all the codependent women who are keen to prove "I'm not like that - look how low-drama I am" and "I'll make you happy after all your crazy past relationships, no matter what it demands of me" come running, ready to be flattened...

Any man who claims to be a feminist.

Of course you are, love.