OLD what fo you think when men say 'no drama' in their profiles

[Fatherliamdeliverance]

Hi,

I've been OLD a while. This is a really common thing men write in their profiles, sometimes just that (I don't know if women do too).

I was just interested to see if I was alone in finding this a bit offputting. Now, I'm sure people have all had their share of relationship issues. Nobody on the apps are unscathed by this age (30s/40s). However to me, this 'no drama' business suggests that someone is just looking for a quiet life and doesn't want to ever be questioned or challenged, and doing so is likely to constitute 'drama'.

I have to say I find it a bit misogynistic, as if to say, a woman's response to any concerns would be histrionic rather than valid.

Has anyone else got a view on this? I have to say it's caused me to swipe left before.

Does ‘adventurous’ not mean ‘anal sex’?
And that his marriage failed because he chose to take up three arduous hobbies instead of parenting the kids he made? Just thinking of some of the sad sacks I know IRL.

@BigFatLiar

Should have added -- No mumsnetters

Now this, I’d think ‘fair enough’

No drama= I expect you to agree with me at all times, otherwise you’re doing drama. Like all my exes did drama.

If a bloke writes No drama it tends to mean not having to deal with someone else's children especially if they don't have any, usually all the dramas/hassle/problems and restrictions that children bring to dating / relationship. If they aren't bringing any drama to a relationship then I get that they don't want to have to deal with anyone elses

I would presume it will be followed up by something about ‘psycho ex’ who ‘broke my heart.’

Basically it means ‘don’t bring up any of my awful behaviour because that’s drama.’ I love it because it’s similar to a man who says ‘I’m not a feminist’ when nobody asked. It tells you who to avoid so you don’t have to scrabble about looking for red flags.

This is only a guess. But I'd say no ranty exes in the background. No difficult teenagers, parents and other annoying family members lurking about ready to jump in and spoil things. and if you have any of these then no thanks.

@Kippersfortea

"Adventurous" in 10 years time when I kill myself jumping off durdle door on LSD whilst taking our kids on a camping holiday don't tell them I didn't warn you. "Nice Guy" I will make sure to walk you home paralytic from drinking and will only give you a little bit of a grope, unless you're interested in more? "Fun" Irresponsible. I will spend the rent money on festival tickets and have a house party whilst your in hospital with our sick child. Because LOL. "Traditional values" I am an abusive man. I won't hit you if you know your place, but I will sulk, shout and bully you if you don't air on me hand and foot. "Bit of a past" slept with 100 women and got 5 STDs in his first term at Uni. "No filters" I think women wearing makeup is cat-fishing so whatever you look like on the first date is how you must look forever. Not just after taking your makeup off, but forever regardless of weight gain or loss, the ageing process, changes of fashion or style, etc. You must never cut or dye your hair, for one thing. "Take me as I am" completely inflexible will not change anything about them self. Doesn't believe in therapy, education, self improvement or reading, or any other woo woo and hippy nonsense like that. Puts ketchup on all his meals, doesn't eat vegetables.

😂

I must say I put ketchup on basically all my meals. I do eat vegetables and read though. Maybe I should start wearing a ‘take me as I am’ t-shirt.

I think what’s most wonderful is that the take me as I am people tend to also be the ones with a long and quite unreasonable list of what they want in a person. They’re not keen on taking others as they are.

“I will not be accountable for my behaviour”

“It’s not me, it’s you”

@WonderfulYou, how are you getting on with OLD?

A substantial minority of females have "issues" and I wish to avoid them like the plague.

Wouldn't be remotely surprised if the same applied to a similar proportion of males.

@TobyEsterhase

A substantial minority of females have "issues" and I wish to avoid them like the plague.

Wouldn't be remotely surprised if the same applied to a similar proportion of males.

That’s another one I’d about. ‘Females.’

Also, purring ‘no drama’ won’t deter people with ‘issues.’

I’d avoid even!

Haha “Females” makes me think of the dad in Friday Night Dinner.

Says:

"Has 2 kids.... looking for someone into fitness who takes care of themselves"

Means:

"I left my family because my wife put on 1/2 stone whilst bearing my children"

It means that inexplicably drama follows them somehow…

That would really put me off. Definitely a sign of emotional immaturity.

I swipe left on every idiot that puts that on their profile! It’s a real bug bear of mine..

My other favourites are : “I am who I am” (a massive prick not planning to change) and “I don’t want to hurt you” (à propos nothing, just laying the ground for shitty behaviour).

Dick
Ignore them and swipe hard

From what I have been told about ‘dramatic’ exes - it’s dramatic to call out a guy who can’t help having women chat them up, who just needed to out all night, who just didn’t fancy washing up right then - however it is ‘psycho’ to go find them on another date, phone too many times when they don’t turn up, tell their other girlfriend you’ve been seeing them too, expect them to have their child so the mum can go out - the horror! Yes I dated a couple of ‘genuine, honest and nice guys’ not for long, but for long enough to educate myself a bit more about OLD turn of phrasing.

In my experience of OLD, “no drama” means “I’m a flaky, unreliable, uncommunicative twat and if you call me out on being a flaky, unreliable, uncommunicative twat that constitutes drama”.

In other words let me do whatever the hell I want to do and if you don’t like it tough, just keep your gob shut, look pretty and let me do what I like.

It's a polite way of saying they don't want a woman who's a psycho crazy bitch/with daddy issues/trying to make an ex jealous/bunny boiler/emotional unstable. Unfortunately, OLD is full of them.

Love that @Kippersfortea 😂

Men who say they don't like drama ARE the drama.

I like it. It makes weeding the arseholes out, easier and quicker.

'If i make a joke that makes you feel shit, I'll call it banter and say you don't have a sense of humour'

'I'll do what I want when I want and won't take your opinion into consideration, but if you want to do something I'm not happy with I will kick off and call you disrespectul.'

'If we disagree I'll say you're like my crazy, psycho ex.'

Shit like that. Next!