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Original poster

If a man is into you...

102 replies

ICanSeeARainbow123 · 04/12/2021 10:56

You'll know.

It doesn't matter if he's busy working, having childcare issues, dealing with a mad ex wife, recovering from an operation, being there for his friend who really needs him right now, having car trouble, having phone trouble, getting ready for a trip, in a shit place mentally... whatever he has going on... if you're on his mind and he is interested... he will show you.

If he's "not ready for a relationship right now" all that means is he doesn't want to be with you.

If he's "busy" all that means is he is too busy for you.

If he doesn't get in touch it's not because of any excuse above. It's not because he's been kidnapped by a unicorn or turned into a frog by an evil witch. It's because he doesn't want to. If your date was so great he will see how high your value is and he won't want anyone else to take his spot. If you are being treated properly you will feel confident, attractive and secure.

It's hard not to be hurt by being mistreated, but it's not hard at all to refuse to tolerate it.

There are absolutely no excuses whatsoever. If a man is under prioritising you, if he's under valuing you - stop over analysing it, stop making excuses for him. Remember who you are and tell him to fuck off.

Glad I got that off my chest. Have a good day 😊

OP posts:
Lillyofthe · 04/12/2021 10:59

Yes.
When a man likes you, wants to commit you know.
There are no excuses. When you make excuses for him he's just not that into you.

northernlight20 · 04/12/2021 11:00

love this!

wannabeamummysobad · 04/12/2021 11:03

Best saying I ever heard and realised this when I met my now DH

"If he wants you you'll know. If he doesn't you'll be confused".

When DD is of an age I'll tell her the same. Will save a lot of unnecessary heartache.

FoxgloveSummers · 04/12/2021 11:06

Why does this obvious point so often get overlooked I wonder

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 04/12/2021 11:08

Have you been reading He's Just Not That Into You? by any chance? Because that posts is basically the essence of the entire book.

BeaMends · 04/12/2021 11:08

Great post OP.

luluruns · 04/12/2021 11:09

Quite right!

CluelessinCumbria · 04/12/2021 11:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

IncompleteSenten · 04/12/2021 11:09

@FoxgloveSummers

Why does this obvious point so often get overlooked I wonder
Because people like to believe they are wanted and important, even when the evidence points to the opposite being true.
Milomonster · 04/12/2021 11:14

Brilliant - love it. Thank you for this. Screen-shotting it.

Original poster
ICanSeeARainbow123 · 04/12/2021 11:17

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

Have you been reading He's Just Not That Into You? by any chance? Because that posts is basically the essence of the entire book.
No never read it or watched the film
OP posts:
Original poster
ICanSeeARainbow123 · 04/12/2021 11:18

@CluelessinCumbria

Does this extend to asking men out? So if they were interested they would have asked me.
Lots of women ask men out, personally it's not for me.
OP posts:
GiantHaystacks2021 · 04/12/2021 11:22

This is all lifted from that book He's Just Not That Into You.

It is true though.
Men will move heaven and earth to be with the woman they want.
Sometimes to the detriment of other important stuff.

Gwennid · 04/12/2021 11:23

Many threads on MN would be over in 2 minutes if posters accepted this, which would be a shame really. Wink

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 04/12/2021 11:24

This is all lifted from that book He's Just Not That Into You.

That's what I said, OP says it's not but having read the book myself I'm pretty confident it is.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 04/12/2021 11:25

@CluelessinCumbria

Does this extend to asking men out? So if they were interested they would have asked me.
Yes, that's pretty much it. Men will have no problem asking out the woman they want.
CluelessinCumbria · 04/12/2021 11:26

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

frozendaisy · 04/12/2021 11:28

This all sounds so one sided. Like it's the man who displays the behaviour that determines the relationship.

Could also say "once the fun stops, stop"

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 04/12/2021 11:30

Also I don't entirely agree. If a man was prioritising dating me over his DC I'd take a dim view of it. I'd fully expect them to be his top priority and rightly so.

I'm also a grown up and understand that sometimes people really are busy and it doesn't mean they're not into me. I know I have those days when I barely have time for me let alone another adult. Doesn't mean I'm any less into them, it just means I'm having a tough day. If they can't understand and appreciate that we all are occasionally overwhelmed with things that need doing, and it's not a reflection on my feelings for them, then they're not the person for me.

No, I'm not a man.

GreyCarpet · 04/12/2021 11:30

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

This is all lifted from that book He's Just Not That Into You.

That's what I said, OP says it's not but having read the book myself I'm pretty confident it is.

It could just be that it's overlooked common sense and the OP has drawn the same conclusion as the author of the book...
Gwennid · 04/12/2021 11:31

I've never read 'He's Just Not That Into You', but I have a DD who's dated a lot.

OP you are correct.

Whiskeyandwine · 04/12/2021 11:31

Even painfully shy guys will make it known if they like someone. So many threads on here ‘ask him out’, ‘text him first it’s not the 1950s’ all end in rejection. It’s really simple actually, if a man likes you he will show it and you won’t have to do any chasing, wondering or have any angst about it.
Fine for 50:50 once in a relationship but let the man show you how he feels first before letting your heart and mind get carried away - as that’s a sure way to feel the pain of rejection

GreyCarpet · 04/12/2021 11:32

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

Also I don't entirely agree. If a man was prioritising dating me over his DC I'd take a dim view of it. I'd fully expect them to be his top priority and rightly so.

I'm also a grown up and understand that sometimes people really are busy and it doesn't mean they're not into me. I know I have those days when I barely have time for me let alone another adult. Doesn't mean I'm any less into them, it just means I'm having a tough day. If they can't understand and appreciate that we all are occasionally overwhelmed with things that need doing, and it's not a reflection on my feelings for them, then they're not the person for me.

No, I'm not a man.

I think it refers to a pattern of behaviours at the start of a relationship. Not an explained bad week within one though.

Of course, we all know that shit happens in life but if I were with someone who didn't think it worth communicating that to me, and so left feeling confused, I'd draw the conclusion that they weren't interested.

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/12/2021 11:34

I think the essence of this is sound, but it's a bit oversimplistic. Sometimes people really are just too busy! I know I get like that. I haven't seen my bf for two weeks as he has had covid. He was out of isolation yesterday and I was technically free but I didn't go and see him. Why?! Because I have a bloody important essay due that I am behind on and really struggling to find the time for, I simply did not have time. I am incredibly into him.

BungleandGeorge · 04/12/2021 11:37

@Whiskeyandwine

Even painfully shy guys will make it known if they like someone. So many threads on here ‘ask him out’, ‘text him first it’s not the 1950s’ all end in rejection. It’s really simple actually, if a man likes you he will show it and you won’t have to do any chasing, wondering or have any angst about it. Fine for 50:50 once in a relationship but let the man show you how he feels first before letting your heart and mind get carried away - as that’s a sure way to feel the pain of rejection
Not totally convinced. I’m not sure men approach every single woman they like with no encouragement??
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