Ooohhhhh OP!!!! Very sensible of you to question this, and don't let anyone take the moral high ground with you.
What really jumps out from your posts:
He seriously likes me / is in love by the looks of it. It sort of just happened that we became friends but he wants more and I feel drawn to him. ... He says he is a very loving man and would be very supportive emotionally.
and then in your next post:
He would not be offering all the emotional support if we just stayed friends, he said he will if we are together - I just can see that he is capable of it.
So he is dangling "emotional support" like a carrot, on condition that you have a romantic/sexual relationship. Presumably because he can see that this appeals to you strongly, enough for you to be seriously wondering about compromising about other things that are (rightly!) important to you, such as being able to afford a nicer home and leading an active life.
You also mention that you can't afford to be with someone skint.
This isn't going to get any easier as time goes on.
I am married to someone skint and although we truly love each other, I cannot say with hand on heart that me being the sole earner doesn't bother me. However, he's much younger than me and has been hampered by current circumstance, so the future should be brighter. Your situation looks like a long tunnel that just gets darker.
Loneliness, or the fear of loneliness, can make us very vulnerable to people who know how to play their cards right (I speak from bitter experiences in my past!). I suspect from what you say that your gut is warning you against him, and you're just focusing on the $$$ as it's easier to explain. For example:
after being single for a long while it's hard to resist that warm caring attitude he's showing ...
(you don't say "a warm caring person like him": you can't, because he's already made it clear that all this "caring" is conditional upon you becoming more than just friends. What kind of friend makes demands like that?!)
I have started missing him when we don't meet for a while so I'm not immune emotionally
Well, you're human. I got involved with a total loser tosser wanker prick (sorry) and used to look forward to him shuffling round to my house with a bottle of wine and some roll-up fags. If you'd told me I was lonely I would have protested, but looking back, I was.
I don't want to use him
In what way are you using him? Has he somehow managed to manipulate you into thinking that your friendship with him is "using" him unless you follow his agenda?
devotion alone may not be enough (obviously no proof that he will be devoted, he's just in that mindset currently )
Errrmmm, quite.
I think some people are good at charming you - he did mention he had a number of relationships and then wife accepted him back - so he must have something going for him, I imagine many women have a soft spot for these soulful charming characters.
Yes indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!!!!!
I will try to preserve the friendship if he accepts that
What kind of friend refuses to accept friendship?!?!?!?
"Soulful and charming" is not quite the same as genuinely loving, OP. Hang on in there. As for finding someone later in life, get out more (I know current circumstances are not ideal for this, sadly...). Make a list of what you really want in a partner, and don't settle for less. Post it to yourself if you like, so you have a date stamp on the envelope and can open it and read through the list whenever you need to remind yourself of what's really important to you.
Don't swap one kind of lack of support (emotional) for another (financial), just because you feel starved of emotional support. Especially as I get the feeling, reading between the lines, that emotionally he is a bit like someone flashing their wallet around.
totally different life style in terms of trying to achieve something
...and don't give up on your dreams! 