So the girlfriend and I get on amazingly. We instant clicked the moment we met.
I'm normally a confident guy. I'm the kind who can get on with anyone, I made a real impression on a night out with her work friends. And when I have previously invited new people into my family, brothers girlfriends for example they instantly feel welcome, I notice when they look awkward and involve them. And certainly wouldn't leave or let them leave without saying goodbye and giving a hug, saying nice to meet you etc.
This is the only time in my life I have felt I have not existed. Which is why I'm on here trying to work out why I feel so low and crap.
Maybe all I needed to feel was like I was acknowledged as a person in her life and a simple goodbye nice to meet you would have done that. Is it the lack of good byes that I'm feeling this way? Is this a rediculous thing to feel just because people didn't say goodbye?
I don't believe her friends were rude to me on purpose, I made the effort but maybe I could have made more. I would say the odd thing aloud but they never started conversations, it was extremely difficult to get involved with their conversations as they were about things that did not concern me, normal life long friend conversations I had no idea about, talking about other people they all know etc etc. I would constantly offer people drinks in hope of a small conversion but they would get there drink and go back to the comfort of what they know. 1 guy kept forgetting my name, like 1 new person is hard to remember.
She text them the night after and apparently they like me but I don't know how they came by that conclusion because I'd had not one meaningful conversation with anyone. I was basically just in the room. I spoke to the dog mostly.
She has a really Shit past with boyfriends, I'm the first man in her life that has made her feel special. As a result she's not the best at showing emotion but I can usually read her very well.
To clarify I left the morning after not at the party. She did not realise how I had felt and once they had all left I blurted it out, like I was venting, I'd never felt this way before and needed to speak about it. She's usually affectionate when we sleep, hugs, pulling me closer, kisses on the head like she can't get enough of me but that night she was cold. I couldn't sleep I knew she was off with me. In the morning I apologized about what I said about her friends but it was all very awkward. Like it definitely bothered her but she didn't want to acknowledge it. We've not had any awkward moments so far but we awkwardly sat together for a few minutes without word and that's when I decided to leave. I definitely did not feel she wanted me there, but kinda did at the same time.
Maybe I was expecting too much. I thought before the party that 8 of her extremely close friends would be interested to find out who the new boyfriend is, what's he like. Maybe I would find out lots about what my girlfriend is like from her friends perspective. But i found 1 thing in a 2 minutes conversation before her friends walked away. But this is probably down to being outside at the time.
I didn't feel like I was purposely pushed away. Just not welcomed into the group. The thing about not being offered even though I was standing there with them confused the hell out of me. That was probably the single most defining moment that made be feel invisible.
Like how does that happen. You can't forget that a person is standing right there holding hands with your best friend, I don't know how this could be an oversight. Made worse by this being her best friend and we hadnt said a word.
Definitely nobody tried to get to know me. Not a single question or conversation starter by anyone. Only 1 did introduce herself and called on me a few times for help, she said goodbye too. We didn't speak much but she was the only one that kind of made me feel welcome. Just those simple things and I thanked her for it at the end of the night. Looking back this was probably really awkward thanking her but my emotions were just off and felt thanking her gave me a slight sense of relief that stopped me from crying.
Also before the party her 2 best friends with one of their partners come by the house to drop off some food they made. This was the very first time we had met each other. I'm sitting down making something for her dog. They walk in acknowledge me by eyesight but then continue to talk about the food for the party. I stand up walk to them, shake the guys hand and day nice to meet you. The 2 girls continue to talk about food, so I nudge one of them jokingly and say hey nice to meet you and give her a hug. The other friend still continues to talk about food so I'm thinking fuck this. I didn't nudge her I just sat down again. First time meeting her best friends and I had to make the effort to say hello. Like I'm trying to point out 'hey I'm here, hellooooo' Definitely my girlfriend should have introduced us properly but she didnt. Had this been me in her friends shoes I would have thought I will go and say hello to the new boyfriend before anything else. Is this the wrong thought process?
Sorry it's a long one. Tried to get the most info in so I can get the best opinions. Had never known what relief you can get by just telling someone. Even if it's on a forum with nobody in know