New partners comments on my niece

[Londongirl899]

He's 47. I'm 33. My niece is 29. We grew up together and so we do interact quite abit on social media etc. She is attractive. Very petite and photogenic. Confident in her clothes,goes out and gets dressed up regularly and she's also a photographer so has some lovely photos. She's most likely the better looking one out of us to most men. Its never been an issue though She's my niece and I love her.

Anyway new relationship. Mentioned my niece to him on and off as we are family. He's not met her. She doesn't live local. He sees her on my Facebook ofcourse. She split from her partner 3 weeks ago and my new man suggested we could go see her for a weekend. Got his phone out and looked at train tickets. We never went,I just humoured him that maybe one day soon I'll arrange to see her. He then proceeded the next day to say she's a pretty girl. He said he can tell by her photos she's a photographer though and he Betted she wasn't always as made up. I told him she was not always made up and would often be makeup free and agreed she's a pretty girl.

She got a puppy and I showed him a photo and said there was a video of its first walk but I couldn't share it with him. He told me to tell her to send the video to me so I could show him. He then brought up that she was a good looking girl again. I jokingly said something like yes when I'm with her I feel the less attractive one. The subject moved onto my friend I'd caught up with and he got confused halfway through and said oh I thought you was on about your niece sorry.

I'm wide awake at 3am with it going over in my head. She wouldn't be interested in him and I know they won't likely meet anytime soon. But its abit of a shit feeling really that he's openly telling me he looks at her photos and had seen she's good looking. But he does occasionally tell me if someone's attractive. Just like he says what he doesn't find attractive. He always calls me beautiful too and tells me his friends think he is lucky to have me and some have mentioned they think I'm attractive.

Would you be upset by this?

I think its clear that he is pretty much in to your niece. I would start thinking about breaking things off op.

Get rid of him. Years ago, I had a boyfriend who told me that my (ten years younger than me) sister was beautiful. I was gutted because I was really into him but there was only one thing to do and that was dump his ass. You deserve better. His behaviour is wrong. And if you call him out on it, you’ll always be uncomfortable and paranoid when other young good looking women are around, who wants to live their life like this?

Never had a single parter tell me they thought someone else was attractive. Fine for a partner to think it, no need to actually say it.

Dump the creep or this will come up everytime you see your niece.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run.9

He blatantly fancies her and wants you to set up an intro.

Sorry but the pp who said he's perving over her photos for his wank bank is probably right.

Ditch ditch ditch.

My partner and I both do it! I'll say oh so and so he's a good looking guy but....or he's nice looking, my daughter would like him, all casual comments with no meaning behind them. My partner has actually said my neice is good looking but it was along the lines of she wears so much make up, it's a shame as she's a good looking girl without all that orange stuff all over her face! Context is everything therefore, and the context for me would be that he seems to have been taking a much deeper interest in her and clearly wants to form some sort of connection either through sending videos of the dog or visiting her. I would therefore run a mile I'm afraid

Creeeeeep.

@IslaInthesun

He blatantly fancies her and wants you to set up an intro.

Sorry but the pp who said he's perving over her photos for his wank bank is probably right.

Ditch ditch ditch.

That’s exactly what he’s trying to do, set up a meet because he’s after something he perceives as better.

because he’s after something he perceives as better.

Or he's one of those men who's always trying to have a harem of some description.

Yuck. He sounds obsessed. He' more interested in her than you. And doesn't even try to be subtle about it either. Kick him to the curb.

He's a creep.

Just bin - totally not worth putting the time in here, you've hardly invested. Dump.

Op, I wonder if he’s one of those men who are always trying to make their partners feel insecure by praising other women. This is one of their games. Also at 47 he’s too old for you and too old to be perving over your 29 year old niece. It’s creepy. Dump and run.

Yuck. Yes he thinks she's attractive (fair enough) but he's actively trying to get you to engineer a meeting in person so he can get a better look.

Breaking that down:

Noticing someone is attractive - normal. We don't go around with our eyes shut and some people are very aesthetically pleasing. I notice good looking people (both sexes though I'm straight), nice figures, nice clothes/hair, cute babies/puppies etc. I think that's fine.

Commenting on someone's attractiveness to your own partner, in a way that strongly suggests you mean sexually attractive - rude and boorish.

Angling to meet said person so you can continue your "appraisal" - icky and boorish.

Involving your partner in that quest - rude, boorish, tone deaf and plain disgusting.

He blatantly fancies her and wants you to set up an intro
This.
Sack him.

Eww eww ewwwwww.

Genuinely grim, inappropriate and weird. MEGA red flag.

@honeylulu

Yuck. Yes he thinks she's attractive (fair enough) but he's actively trying to get you to engineer a meeting in person so he can get a better look.

Breaking that down:

Noticing someone is attractive - normal. We don't go around with our eyes shut and some people are very aesthetically pleasing. I notice good looking people (both sexes though I'm straight), nice figures, nice clothes/hair, cute babies/puppies etc. I think that's fine.

Commenting on someone's attractiveness to your own partner, in a way that strongly suggests you mean sexually attractive - rude and boorish.

Angling to meet said person so you can continue your "appraisal" - icky and boorish.

Involving your partner in that quest - rude, boorish, tone deaf and plain disgusting.

F**king perfect comment tbh.

honeylulu 👏👏👏👏👏

@Palavah

Our relationship is actually really good and I know he's always been one to speak to everyone male or female

This is a plus point? That he deigns to speak to mere women?

Please understand at 33 you are a massive massive massive catch for a 47 year old man. He should be making you feel like a goddess. At best he's grooming you to keep you on your toes by making you worried he'll try it on with your niece. At worst he's also actually trying it on with your niece.

Please dump him and spend time with people who appreciate you.

So a woman of his age is 47 would be less of a catch ? Isn’t this exactly the issue with many of these men ? Thinking women should be valued according to age and looks ? How bout we stop buying into that d appreciate that women are worth as much as one another regardless of age and should be valued on far far more than how they look OP shouldn’t be putting up with this rubbish regardless of whether she is 30 or 60 . He’s sounds horrible

He sounds revolting. I wouldn’t want to have sex with him after such comments and attempts to marionette a f2f with a family member he clearly fancies.

He probably sees himself as some kind of winning lothario but actually he’s a losing vagina-dryer.

Why doesn't he just come right out and say, cor, I wouldn't mind shagging her!

@Onlinedilema

He's a lot older than you and sounds creepy.

Exactly this. Run!

Creepy vibes op.

Eww.

Throw this one right back into the pond. My now ex used to do this a LOT. He was on dating sites behind my back. If someone will behave like this to your face, then what on earth do you think they will do behind your back? Relocate your self-respect and get rid.