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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is there a cure for mansplaining?

154 replies

PissyMum · 06/11/2021 23:47

I’ve been with boyfriend for about 18 months. We get on really well and have a really good laugh and amazing sex. I’m starting to be driven round the bend by his constant mansplaining though. I only really noticed him doing it about a month ago when he decided to explain the actual meaning of my favourite book that I’d lent him, which he’d never heard of until I lent it to him.

Now the scales have slipped from my eyes I can’t believe I didn’t see how often he does it earlier. I think I’d possibly dismissed it as he is a proper intellectual and a world expert in the field of science that he works in. I don’t have a degree as I dropped out of uni but I read loads, keep up with current affairs etc and can generally hold my own in conversations with most people. I thought that maybe he thought I was a bit dumber than I am or possibly because I’m over a decade younger than him that I dismissed it to begin with. Now he knows me properly he clearly still thinks I’m an idiot though. I can tell when he’s going to start a long winded explanation as even if I say “yes, I know that” it’s almost as if he hadn’t heard me and he just can’t stop himself from continuing in his lecture.

Do you think if I sat him down and really clearly explained how shit it makes me feel that he might actually stop doing it? Or am I flogging a dead horse? He’s late 40’s so I’m guessing it’s probably too late to change now.

OP posts:
BackBackBack · 09/11/2021 19:04

@ChargingBuck

One of them barged into a rape victim's thread a couple of days ago, and starting mansplaining sexual assault and rape and how we'd got it all wrong.

@BackBackBack that fucking arsehole.
iirc, he believed that the solution to a rape victim's problem was to pretend it was consensual & stay with her rapist while getting a coil fitted so she didn't have to worry about pregnancy via stealthing.

He failed to respond to my invitation to discuss his views in person. Funny, that.

Yes. Total dickhead but fortunately it got deleted sharpish.
supremelybaffled · 09/11/2021 19:26

@Toomanyradishes

I work with a man who will ask me how to do something and then when I explain it will send me a link to a course to learn the tjing I explained, and can do. He never does the course himself of course because he finds it easier to ask me how to do thing. Its not womansplaining specifically its just that nice put down in case I thought I knew something....
There's also the man who will ask you how to do something, and within half an hour you hear him telling someone else how to do it. And a couple of days later he'll be explaining to you the very thing you taught him in the first place.
HyggeTygge1 · 10/11/2021 05:59

God this reminds me of a guy I went on a couple of dates with. We were in his car and 'don't you want me' by The Human League came on. He started explaining what the song was about in great detail to me about how it was about this waitress who worked in a cocktail bar etc. I mean, yes I can hear the opening lyrics too thanks! 🙄🙄

supremelybaffled · 10/11/2021 11:15

@HyggeTygge1 - I can beat that one, I was once being talked at by a bloke in a nightclub when the dj started playing 'Thriller'. This man then proceeded to explain to me who Michael Jackson was.

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