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Original poster

Bf not sexually attracted to me

84 replies

Jackiebriany · 06/11/2021 20:30

He says I’ve put on weight (I haven’t really - a bit)
Which affected his sexual attraction to me
He still loves me and finds me attractive in other ways
We haven’t had sex in a long time
And he wants to try again
But I don’t feel secure
What shall I do ?
Help Sad

OP posts:
Eltonsglasses · 06/11/2021 20:31

What shall I do ?

Lose the deadweight- him.

Feetupteashot · 06/11/2021 20:31

Dump

me4real · 06/11/2021 20:36

Abusive wanker trying to make you feel insecure and bad about yourself. No way does he deserve a shag after what he said, when you haven't even particularly put on weight much anyway. Bin ASAP.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 06/11/2021 20:38

End of. If his libido is so delicate that it's killed by you putting on a small amount of weight by what you say then it'll just be more of this any time some change in circumstances comes up if you stay together.

Couchpotato3 · 06/11/2021 20:39

Ditch him! He isn't worth another minute of your time!!

Viviennemary · 06/11/2021 20:39

Ditch.

clopper · 06/11/2021 20:40

I can think of a quick way to dump 13 stone…ditch him!

MushMonster · 06/11/2021 20:45

Good bye him for good! I hope you do not live together.

Onthedunes · 06/11/2021 20:48

You don't feel safe wth him.

Dump him and find someone else.

PlanDeRaccordement · 06/11/2021 20:48

If little bit of weight has put him off sex with you, then he doesn’t love you. You deserve someone who will love you when you’re 85 with the body of an 85yr old.

Theuniverseandeverything · 06/11/2021 20:49

What are you supposed to do with that information? Apart from dump.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/11/2021 20:50

Lose a shitload of weight by dumping him🧐

NewlySingle2021 · 06/11/2021 21:03

Lose 15-18 (?) stone of nobhead in one simple step...

Wherearemymarbles · 06/11/2021 21:09

He doesn’t fancy you anymore. Thats up to him so end it. Far far to many people stop fancying their partners and instead of being honest they limp along for years and end up posting on here about their sexless marriages

Dery · 06/11/2021 21:13

Bin him. 20+ years in with DH - I’ve put on a tonne of weight. He still fancies me. A man who truly loves you will not be turned off by a bit of additional weight. This man is not for you.

FancySomeChips · 06/11/2021 21:15

Agree with the above, get rid!

Indoctro · 06/11/2021 21:15

@Wherearemymarbles

He doesn’t fancy you anymore. Thats up to him so end it. Far far to many people stop fancying their partners and instead of being honest they limp along for years and end up posting on here about their sexless marriages
Amen to this

It seems common on MN that a parter can put on lots of weight and the person can say anything about how it affects their attraction to them

At least he is being honest to you

What would you rather he lies and pretends to be enjoying himself when actually he isn't turned on by you.

If you aren't keen on losing weight and happy with the way you look then absolutely ditch him. But you can't blame him for being honest.

Hyppogriff · 06/11/2021 21:16

He’s not worth it

Indoctro · 06/11/2021 21:17

@Dery

Bin him. 20+ years in with DH - I’ve put on a tonne of weight. He still fancies me. A man who truly loves you will not be turned off by a bit of additional weight. This man is not for you.
I don't believe this. I truely love love my husband but I'm sorry if he piled on stones of weight I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore , that's not to say I wouldn't love him but marriage is about more than love

Surely you need attraction as well. They are two totally separate things.

RaginaPhalange · 06/11/2021 21:42

I don't believe this. I truely love love my husband but I'm sorry if he piled on stones of weight I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore , that's not to say I wouldn't love him but marriage is about more than love

Surely you need attraction as well. They are two totally separate things

My DH has put on a bit of weight and I still find him attractive regardless of the added few stone.

OP ditch him.

Dery · 06/11/2021 21:47

@Indoctro - my DH has put on lots of weight too. We’re not hugely obese but we’re both pretty chubby. I still fancy him hugely. My attraction to him and his to me was not just based on our vital statistics.

Skysblue · 06/11/2021 21:48

He’s told you that you’re fat and unattractive and now he wants to have sex with you? How are you supposed to get remotely aroused with him now?!

Sounds emotionally abusive to me. Walk away OP. No one who loves you would treat you like that.

RantyAunty · 06/11/2021 21:51

I always wonder about the type of person who would bluntly say that to someone they're supposed to care about?

Then they still hang around?!

Wouldn't it be better to make some excuse that isn't insulting why you want to break up and then actually fuck off?

What is one thing about him you don't like or find attractive?

IsThePopeCatholic · 06/11/2021 21:52

Bloody cheek! Tell him to go.

tocas · 06/11/2021 21:53

Wtf. LTB hun.

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