Withdrawal method

[ClaireF992]

My husband and I have been using the withdrawal method since my son was born a few years ago, I had a condition during pregnancy which means I can't use hormonal contraception. I spoke to my husband about getting the copper coil but he said why when this is working for us. I know the risks but I would be happy to fall pregnant by accident. He doesn't want anymore children and for this reason he is VERY careful (pulls out with plenty of minutes to spare). We last had sex around 2 weeks ago during my fertile window, once in the afternoon and then again in the early hours. About 5 days later I got really bad cramps in the evening and I thought I was coming on my period early, but it never came. Now i'm on either tomorrow or Friday but I have somehow convinced myself the cramps were implantation pains and I'm pregnant! Realistically how likely do you think this is? We have had sex in my fertile window before and never had a problem.

My husband and I use natural family planning and don't have sex in my fertile window. Maybe try that going forward (with proper teaching and tracking)?

Be aware of an ectopic pregnancy - you can get cramping on one side similar to period pains.

I know so many friends who have become parents using the withdrawal method, I can't believe anyone actually believes it is a reliable form of contraception.

It would make me anxious every time I had sex and as others have said it is not a reliable form of contraception - more like russian roulette!

Withdrawal method? Do you live in a medieval catholic country? Surely everyone knows that it’s completely unreliable? If he’s so bothered, why isn’t he taking care of contraception?

@Bluebells34

It would make me anxious every time I had sex and as others have said it is not a reliable form of contraception - more like russian roulette!

Me too, but OP clearly doesn't mind another baby and the husband is a dumbass, so...

You and your husband are TTC.

Hormonal bc wasn’t an option for me either and neither was an iud. That still left condoms for temporary birth control or a vasectomy for permanent birth control as options. We ruled out a tubal since it was Dh’s turn to take on the responsibility.

You need a test ASAP.

He is an idiot.

Wow, some people can be so rude So glad I've got thick skin!

Thanks again to everyone else x

I was adamant after ds2 that I couldn't go through another pregnancy. DH arranged to have a vasectomy when ds2 was a year old. In that year we did everything to ensure I wouldn't get pregnant. We certainly didn't risk the withdrawal method.

If your dh was that certain he didn't want more children he would have been fine with your offer of having a coil or he could have booked himself in for the snip.

Well you’ve kind of asked two questions no one on here can help with really.

Could you be pregnant? If you’ve had sex, of course.

Withdrawal can work perfectly but relies on your partner not pre ejaculating (some men do, some don’t) and also having the required self control to pull out in good time (some do, some don’t).

Husband being devastated when he’s using a method proven not to work. Tell him to man up and wrap up if he doesn’t want a baby.

I’d say it’s pretty likely. It also seems like quite a stressful way to have sex.

A boiling kettle spits.

Lots of bad information being spread on this thread. There is proper data from the various studies showing withdrawal method is about as effective as condoms, when done correctly. This is a key point as lots of people don't do it effectively. When done properly 4 out of every 100 women will get pregnant over the course of a year (about 2 out of 100 will with condoms). In reality about 22 out of every hundred people will get pregnant in a year using this method as it's not always done properly. Same is true of condoms - about 17 people out of 100 using condoms get pregnant in reality because they are not used correctly.

It's also a myth that pre-cum contains sperm - studies have shown it doesn't, unless the guy has has sex in the previous two hours and hasn't had a pee.

Relevant links and studies below:
www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out
2014 study published by Contraception, an international journal on reproduction, which states "Withdrawal…is about as effective as condoms at preventing pregnancy".
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S001078241400208X

Pre cum myth: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12286905/#article-details

There's a reason it used to be known as Vatican Roulette, OP.

Why can't he use a condom, if you can't use hormonal contraception, and he's averse to having a vasectomy?

You are acting like a pair of teenagers.

Buy condoms in your next shop, if it’s not already too late.

My fourth child was the result of the withdrawal method! I was waiting to have a coil fitted due to not being able to have hormonal contraception due to blood clots in pregnancy this was 2 months after the birth of my 3rd child

If he's so against fathering more children then he needs to have a vasectomy, put a rubber on it or not object to you having a coil fitted (not that you need his permission to do that.)

[quote mswales]Lots of bad information being spread on this thread. There is proper data from the various studies showing withdrawal method is about as effective as condoms, when done correctly. This is a key point as lots of people don't do it effectively. When done properly 4 out of every 100 women will get pregnant over the course of a year (about 2 out of 100 will with condoms). In reality about 22 out of every hundred people will get pregnant in a year using this method as it's not always done properly. Same is true of condoms - about 17 people out of 100 using condoms get pregnant in reality because they are not used correctly.

It's also a myth that pre-cum contains sperm - studies have shown it doesn't, unless the guy has has sex in the previous two hours and hasn't had a pee.

Relevant links and studies below:
www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out
2014 study published by Contraception, an international journal on reproduction, which states "Withdrawal…is about as effective as condoms at preventing pregnancy".
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S001078241400208X

Pre cum myth: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12286905/#article-details[/quote]
Lol, I quoted that exact statistic on effectiveness on this thread an hour ago if you had bothered to read the thread.

@mswales
Lots of bad information being spread on this thread. There is proper data from the various studies showing withdrawal method is about as effective as condoms, when done correctly. This is a key point as lots of people don't do it effectively. When done properly 4 out of every 100 women will get pregnant over the course of a year (about 2 out of 100 will with condoms).

So it’s half as effective as condoms then?

[quote RestingPandaFace]@mswales
Lots of bad information being spread on this thread. There is proper data from the various studies showing withdrawal method is about as effective as condoms, when done correctly. This is a key point as lots of people don't do it effectively. When done properly 4 out of every 100 women will get pregnant over the course of a year (about 2 out of 100 will with condoms).

So it’s half as effective as condoms then?[/quote]
Aaaand with common use 1 in 5 women will end up pregnant over a year of use. How can you read that and go "yeah, as good a birth control method as any I guess"?

I’m a retired doctor. My colleagues used to joke “What do you call patients who use the withdrawal method? Parents!”
Do a test, OP. Then send DH for a vasectomy if you definitely don’t want more DC.

Withdrawal is only a ‘method’ for Russian roulette conception. If your husband really didn’t want another kid then he had no right not using any contraception. There’s a phrase for that-trying to conceive. So he has no right to be devastated about natural consequences of his active choices.

I thought it was only teens who believed this worked?

He can be devastated as much as he likes. He has willingly had u protected sex knowing the risks.

*Unprotected