My parents were together for 24 years. They started off the traditional way. The husband worked. The wife stayed at home and looked after the children. My mum got bored. She’d been a skilled clerical worker. She had no life stuck in the house cooking and cleaning. And expected to do childcare in evenings with basically no time off. He came home sat down and didn’t do childcare in the evening or during the night. She got no break.
My dad didn’t bring in enough money to do much. So my mum got a part time job. But my dad still expected (metaphorically) to have his pipe and slippers handed to him and be waited on hand and foot by a woman who was knackered.
This, combined with hormonal changes, meant my mum wasn’t really interested. She didn’t feel the way she used to. She felt like a skivvy. She just looked after him as though he was another child. Making his dinner doing his washings. The pay packet he brought in was the only difference between him and a child!
He loved her very much. But didn’t see she was no longer happy as she ‘just got on’ with things stoically. Eventually she just had enough. She wanted to look after him and stay in the family home but he wouldn’t accept that their relationship was over. She just saw him as a loved family member. But not loved in the way they’d started out. Things just changed over the years.
Perhaps that’s like your relationship?
My dad was devastated as he didn’t think they’d ever be apart and he married for life.
He had suicidal thoughts but felt he couldn’t as he was a dad and parents didn’t have that option as they had to be there for their children until they were at least married and settled. So he cried and got anti depressants. If counselling was around in those days he’d have gone for it. But it wasn’t. They divorced and went their separate ways. I got closer to my dad which was nice. I stayed with him. And it was fine. He learned to cook and gradually became himself again.
He joined a walking club, bowling club, and enjoyed his bird watching and bus tours of Scotland (not recommended during covid nowadays though) and he came out of his shell through these groups and the nice people he met helped him smile again. He met another woman in his 50s and although he chose to never marry again, they lived together for over 20 years.
I don’t know if that could be similar to you and gives you hope that, if you decide to, you can get out and about and be happy again. In due course. If you choose to.
Deal with your health and job first. And then your family situation (it seems like nothings changed there in five years so it’s nothing new).
I note you have not responded to any of us asking about your job and if you’ve been to the union or acas. So I presume that you’ve given up on that. Don’t give up until you have spoken to them. You may have been unfairly dismissed. There may be hope of getting your job back or thousands of pounds of compensation. I don’t know how much time you have to get the ball rolling. If you speak to them you can find out. I know you’re not well and it’s daunting. But it could make a significant difference to you.