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Wife no longer loves me

1 reply

Sw05 · 26/10/2021 19:44

Hi, I get this is for mums but from a male point of view I need a different perspective on this. My wife no longer wants to be with me as a couple but wants me to stay at the family home to keep some sort of family normality. It’s breaking my heart and I tried a few weeks ago to take an overdose as I can’t bear to not be with my wife who I love more than life itself and adore her. Before this situation was told to me I’d been sleeping on the sofa for the past 5 years because my wife enjoys her sleep and because she goes to bed really early I tend to stay up late as I’m not a great sleeper so I agreed to sleep on the sofa. Obviously there no sex, passion cuddles or kisses and it has for the last five years been so difficult and frustration has set in. I don’t push for affection or intermarry as my wife shuts down and say she feels pressured so I have avoided the issue to do as she wishes. Some stuff has gone on at work and I’ve been falsely accused of something which I know nothing about, now my wife says there’s no trust and she can’t carry on our relationship anymore. I’m completely devastated and have now become so depressed and so low. I wake up and within minutes I’m in tears, my wife is my best friend and my soulmate and as I said I totally love and adore her but it’s only ever been 1 way, she finds it difficult to show her love and affection towards me and it breaks my heart thinking we won’t be together anymore. I’m now on antidepressants, I never thought I could feel this low, all I’ve ever wanted was to be with my wife and live a long and happy life with the woman I love I thought I had everything but in 4 weeks I’ve gone from being happy, loving my job have a wife who I’m proud to be with to now rock bottom and alone depressed, upset,alone and worthless. I just don't know what to do anymore. I’ve given her space and she is away at the moment with my daughter. On a short break just the 2 of them (this break was booked before all this happened) Sorry this is a long message BUT I’m just reaching out for anyone who can help.
Thank you

LivMumsnet · 26/10/2021 20:18

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes from MNHQ. Flowers

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