Emojis

[cheeselover2021]

Just want to know if I'm over thinking this or if there is possibly something a bit odd. I was reading a post a while ago and someone said check the emojis on a partners phone.

Anyways, I have a gut feeling. DP does not often message anyone except me. Other people would usually be just odd texts, how are you, are you going to such and such etc. I have full access to his phone, he often leaves it laying around. He only has text message and whatsapp on there as far as know as messaging apps. No secrecy with our phones.

He always sends me the same emojis when we text, the little heart ones, and we text often. However a couple of months ago he accidently sent an emoji mixed in which was the 'phew' emoji. I didn't think much of it, but it seemed odd and he said he'd pressed it by accident. However unless it was in the recently used section, he'd have no way been able to scroll through and press that particular one by accident.

I know I sound like a loon right now, so bear with me.

It just sort of felt wrong. And as he doesn't text hardly anyone it had no reason to be in his recently used section. So I just thought must have been in there from a message a while ago or something and as he dosnt use emojis in any other messages as a rule, and only uses the same 2 with me mostly. So I just forgot it and thought I'm being an idiot here.

Then it happened again, with a different emoji a sad face one, accidentality sent. Definitely never has sent that to me before.

Like I said he has no issue with me on his phone. So recently I had a look at list of messages and nothing there except the normal, same with whatsapp. And none of them had any emojis in.

Still sounding like a loon I know.

So he went out the other night and messaged me, included the heart emojis and again, there was another one accidently clicked in his drunken state I expect. But my gut is just thinking, how are they in his recent list when he never sends them. And this one was not in the recent list when I was on his phone a few days before.

I then went out the next night, we texted as normal. No rogue emojis.

I get back yesterday and I just didnt feel right about this bloody emoji the other night. I think I'm losing the plot.

But I went on his phone for something and did a quick look at the emoji list in his recently used and there at the top are the 2 he usually sends, followed by 5 others in the space before the rogue one he'd sent me the night before. I did a quick test on my own phone and it puts them in that order of use. So basically it means he has sent 5 emojis between the rogue one to me the previous night and me looking at his phone. None were to me and looking at his text list and whatsapp which is always pretty sparse, none sent to anyone there either.

So am I going mad, overthinking this or does this point to him messaging someone, using those emojis inbetween our last texts but his phone shows he hasn't texted anyone.

For what its worth, the emojis were: A smily blushing face, a cry with laughter face, a waving hand, a huge grin smile face and an emoji of a person in a bed.

I mean, its just emojis. but the fact they have obviously been clicked on as they are in his most recent list and not sent to me or any other text in his messages or whatsapp is bugging me. Add to it the fact that the one he sent me accidently the night before is now way down the list, so these must have been more recently used than that one?

Any other explanations? I mean i have no issue him using emojis, but I'm thinking they must be being used and the messages either deleted or being used in another messaging platform? Or am I just losing the plot?

Also it’s not accurate that they come up in list of most recently used. If you use ones very often they remain at the top. For example, I used the dog emoji today for the first time in a while, it is now 6th. It is the last emoji I used. According to the 5th emoji, I use it a lot but last used it Friday. It’s not in specific order and if you don’t use emojis much it means the two he ALWAYS sends you would stay at the top even if they weren’t the most recent, so your WHOLE thought process is factually flawed.

He might have hidden apps in a folder labelled something like “banking” or there are apps that hide apps unless you unlock them (sadly I know many cheaters). Next time you have his phone maybe search in the main nav for telegram or tinder etc and see if they come that way. Sorry you’re going through this

If you’re worried about any other secret apps or websites, check “screentime” it shows you all websites visited (unless incognito is used)

I'm going to jump the gun and say he's cheating. I found the purple devil and and bunch of others on hubby's phone, was the first indicator. Bed emoji? Please. It's happening at work. The selfie is a giveaway too!! Don't say a word, and keep digging. There may be hotels being used, check his cash withdrawals. On WhatsApp, open a new message top right, see who is under his frequently contacted, women often go under male names. Check the WhatsApp Archive. And then think about quietly setting up linked devices on it too. I wish for you I'm wrong.

Listen to your gut not the posters trying to be 'cool wives'

It's easy to hide chat apps. Don't be fooled by the lack of them.

On @Lovestoned train of thought, if you hold a message down and “forward it” a better comprehensive list of most recently contacted comes up, and it shows you them even if you have selected the message.

I’ve read a few more updates and I now agree it’s suspect. I know a lot about iPhones. Your best bet is to look at screentime and battery. If an app is being deleted then it will show in battery as “recently deleted apps” not the icon, but if you redownload the correct app it shows up again. Screentime gives a comprehensive list of websites used

All this drama over emojis? Is he not allowed to use his phone for any purpose other than to text you? I’ve just checked my ‘recently used’ emojis out of curiosity and have discovered a saxophone, which I have never used for any reason. Sometimes, if I text quickly, I’ll accidentally switch between the qwerty keyboard and emoji keyboard, and hit a series of unusual emojis in place of the letters I wanted to select. You say your husband doesn’t text much, it’s not exactly inconceivable that he has done exactly this. You say he has no phone secrecy, leaves it lying around and you have full access to it at any time. Why would he do that if he had anything to hide on there?

Jesus fucking wept

@cheeselover2021

So, I just checked again. And 2 new ones today. Laughing on floor emoji and an orange heart.

Accidental or random?
No messages today at all let alone showing those emojis

I'm starting to side with you. The occasional rogue emoji I can get on board with but not regular hearts etc.

Thanks for everyones replies. The orange heart one made my heart sink. What would someone type in accidently for that to pop up and be selected accidently.

When you type a word the corresponding emoji pops up in the predictive bar. Tapped either deliberately or by accident it then ends up in recent
Yes, understand this and it can happpen. But according to his phone he only sent messages to me yesterday and one to a plumber (with no emojis)

What happened the last time, is there history? Any other apps like kik or anything on his phone. A messaging app could be hidden in another folder potentially
Last time he was messaging an old GF. All innocent apparantly, but felt the need to delete the messages. He said he deleted as our relationship progressed and he realised it was wrong. So i've gone with that answer because I can understand to a degree he perhaps still had some sort of emotional attachment to her, but I only have his word it was just a few messages and they never met up. I've looked in all folders and no other messaging apps showing up.

It’s not in specific order and if you don’t use emojis much it means the two he ALWAYS sends you would stay at the top even if they weren’t the most recent

They do stay at the top. The 2 he sends to me alot stay at the top, the others then are listed unddewrneath in order they are used. At least thats how my phone works and we have the same phone.

I checked his screentime in the battery section and he was on messages for 23 minutes yesterday. he sent me maybe 5 messages yesterday and the one to the plumber about 2 lines long. I checked my usage as I use my messages way more and I was only on 15 minutes. Of course this could mean nothing as hes maybe slower to type, he does type slow. But it seems alot of time on messages against what is showing as sent.

I don't know. Every other aspect of our relationship is great. If he is messaging someone he knows it'll destroy what we have, so why on earth would he do that. I just feel I can't trust him, all over some stupid emojis.

Is he not allowed to use his phone for any purpose other than to text you?
Of course he can use his phone! I Wouldn't give a crap if he was messaging 100 people a day. Its the fact he doesn't and these are showing up in recently sent with no message showing that they were used in. Could be accidental of course. But when I look at the number of 'accidentals', where they are in the list and the type of emoji I just can't help thinking he is definitely selecting them.

The orange heart wasn't in the recently used at all yesterday morning, but in the evening, there is is 4th one down (with the regular 2 at the top, followed by the roll on floor laughing one). If its accidental, surely there would be some real random ones in there. A cat, a roadsign, a guitar. Its odd to me these accidental ones happen to be fucking hearts and emotion faces.

I think your feelings are correct OP sadly— I’m an expert on such shitty things through experience. It works in amount of times it’s been used so if he uses hearts a lot to you, chances are thatcwill always be at the top, working down the left hand column , that’s the order in terms of number of times they’ve been used , quite often though it’s only the first few if you don’t use emojisa lot — on mine for instance I’ve used all the first column but after that they are random suggestions but remain static

I am on your side OP. It does sound weird and I think the fact this seems like such a reach and that you're a 'loony' is evidence that your gut knows it's something wrong which is why it is overriding the rational side.

23 minutes is a long time and I would feel suspicious too. HOWEVER, my DH leaves his phone on on something. At the very bottom of notifications it tells you how many text messages he has received. If it's more than what you sent and what you can see from the plumber etc, it's your factual evidence that he's hiding messages.

Sorry I mean the bottom of screentime

I'm pretty sure my 86 year old nan would take less than 23 minutes to send 5 texts

t the very bottom of notifications it tells you how many text messages he has received. If it's more than what you sent and what you can see from the plumber etc, it's your factual evidence that he's hiding messages.
Is this on an iphone, I've looked and can't find it, is it in settings?

I want to bring it up with him, but if he is upto something that'll just alert him and he'll hide it more or stop sending emojis. Or i'll sound crazy. If there was something like that I could see and that didn't tally either, I think thats all the proof i'd need.

@suburbanhousewine Thankyou. I will check there when I next get a chance

Having read the updates it seems more likely he is messaging someone and the reason he's not overly protective of his phone is because: 1, you don't have a history of paying attention to his phone and 2, the person he's texting has been told not to send texts at certain times or only on receipt of a text from him.

Also unfortunately there are way too many ways to hide/ lock apps or turn off notifications so the phone doesn’t ping/ light up if a message comes through.

You're checking his phone

You clearly don't trust him

This is no relationship to have.

For me though, this is an absolute waste of time and head space and can't believe how much energy you're putting in to this. Of course people on here will say he's cheating. A husband sneezes in the direction of a woman and they're just trying to get the attention for a secret shag.

I've just checked and if I choose an emoji then delete it before sending the message it still stays on my recent list. He could simply have changed his mind about using them or been scrolling looking for something different to use and taped it accidentally. I know I do at times. Or he's cheating. I'm not sure it really matters in the end, you don't trust him and this isn't any way to live.

I know emojis can be selected and then not sent. He doesn't use them though. Thats whats so odd about this sudden flurry of emoji activity and they are seemingly not been sent anywhere (thats visible). No reason for him to be even selecting them as he doesn't use them generally, if you see what I mean.

I get the whole you don't trust him so thats no way to have a realtionship thing. But blindly trusting someone when something suddenly isn't making much sense and there are things suggesting they are behaving different to normal is pretty naive.
I want to trust him without question. Unfortunately I've noticed something that is making me question.

I think the stats showing how many texts received will tell me something, if of course it is texts or whatapps.

And those saying about me going through his phone, we have no issue with each other using the others phone, its not uncommon for us. I don't care if he looks through mine, because I have nothing to hide. he has had no issue with me accessing his phone whenever I want or need to following the previous GF text thing. However we are not in each others pockets, so it is feasible he is deleting stuff.

I shall see if anymore rogue hearts or other emotion emojis are showing there later. not sure I won't be able to say anything to him though later if there are.

OP, just to be clear, only apps which have push notifications will show in screentime. If he has an app switched off notifications you will not see HOWEVER it will ALWAYS show in screentime. It is impossible to hide anything from screentime UNLESS you delete the app. However, this then can't be hidden from battery which will show as 'deleted apps'

I used to work in customer support at Apple so know everything about these methods / how to hide things. There is ALWAYS a way to find out how he is doing something. It's just the level of snooping you're willing to do.

@cheeselover2021 it’s never a good idea to trust anybody, and I mean anybody, blindly. You can’t be 100% certain what anyone would do in a given set of circumstances. You do need to trust him enough to feel secure in the relationship though, and it’s actions, not words, that build trust.
This is a tricky one as it absolutely could be as ridiculous as some posters think, but also it could be a sign of something going on ‘underground.’
You need more than the emojis to go on, I’m afraid. I’d say absolutely nothing until you have proof. You could drive it underground or really upset him if he’s innocent, it’s an awful thing to accuse anyone of. Cash withdrawals are also a giveaway for someone having an affair, or more cash than usual in their wallet. Keeps it all off the credit card bills.

Look OP - have read through the post - it honestly doesn't look great if he's typing an orange heart and selfie - I mean who the F do you just send that too, a friend, the plumber?! No.

But I would definitely dig deeper and check.

Any update OP?