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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emojis

142 replies

cheeselover2021 · 18/10/2021 12:31

Just want to know if I'm over thinking this or if there is possibly something a bit odd. I was reading a post a while ago and someone said check the emojis on a partners phone.

Anyways, I have a gut feeling. DP does not often message anyone except me. Other people would usually be just odd texts, how are you, are you going to such and such etc. I have full access to his phone, he often leaves it laying around. He only has text message and whatsapp on there as far as know as messaging apps. No secrecy with our phones.

He always sends me the same emojis when we text, the little heart ones, and we text often. However a couple of months ago he accidently sent an emoji mixed in which was the 'phew' emoji. I didn't think much of it, but it seemed odd and he said he'd pressed it by accident. However unless it was in the recently used section, he'd have no way been able to scroll through and press that particular one by accident.

I know I sound like a loon right now, so bear with me.

It just sort of felt wrong. And as he doesn't text hardly anyone it had no reason to be in his recently used section. So I just thought must have been in there from a message a while ago or something and as he dosnt use emojis in any other messages as a rule, and only uses the same 2 with me mostly. So I just forgot it and thought I'm being an idiot here.

Then it happened again, with a different emoji a sad face one, accidentality sent. Definitely never has sent that to me before.

Like I said he has no issue with me on his phone. So recently I had a look at list of messages and nothing there except the normal, same with whatsapp. And none of them had any emojis in.

Still sounding like a loon I know.

So he went out the other night and messaged me, included the heart emojis and again, there was another one accidently clicked in his drunken state I expect. But my gut is just thinking, how are they in his recent list when he never sends them. And this one was not in the recent list when I was on his phone a few days before.

I then went out the next night, we texted as normal. No rogue emojis.

I get back yesterday and I just didnt feel right about this bloody emoji the other night. I think I'm losing the plot.

But I went on his phone for something and did a quick look at the emoji list in his recently used and there at the top are the 2 he usually sends, followed by 5 others in the space before the rogue one he'd sent me the night before. I did a quick test on my own phone and it puts them in that order of use. So basically it means he has sent 5 emojis between the rogue one to me the previous night and me looking at his phone. None were to me and looking at his text list and whatsapp which is always pretty sparse, none sent to anyone there either.

So am I going mad, overthinking this or does this point to him messaging someone, using those emojis inbetween our last texts but his phone shows he hasn't texted anyone.

For what its worth, the emojis were: A smily blushing face, a cry with laughter face, a waving hand, a huge grin smile face and an emoji of a person in a bed.

I mean, its just emojis. but the fact they have obviously been clicked on as they are in his most recent list and not sent to me or any other text in his messages or whatsapp is bugging me. Add to it the fact that the one he sent me accidently the night before is now way down the list, so these must have been more recently used than that one?

Any other explanations? I mean i have no issue him using emojis, but I'm thinking they must be being used and the messages either deleted or being used in another messaging platform? Or am I just losing the plot?

OP posts:
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Hopingforabagofbuttons · 18/10/2021 16:37

When you went through his phone were you honest and tell him what you had done?

girlmom21 · 18/10/2021 16:39

Honestly I'd just call it a day if you're searching through his phone and monitoring his use of emojis ffs

Crikeyalmighty · 18/10/2021 16:39

I just played around with them as I rarely use them and it’s exactly as you described OP- in order of use in downward columns on an iPhone 6s — could be he uses them on FB or instagram maybe??

Feelingparanoid · 18/10/2021 16:39

The messaging might be via a webpage - he could navigate there via a web browser without needing an app on his phone. The shit selfies might be to show who he is if using a casual hook-up site/paid-for services. I stress that these suggestions are based on my own experience; not saying that's your case necessarily. Just when you try to make excuses for yourself 'form for over thinking' ... that's exactly what I did until the truth came out.

danidandan · 18/10/2021 16:39

@Bypassed21

Honestly I think you are waaay over thinking this one. I never analyse my own emoji use let alone someone else's. What is the world coming too?

If your partner doesn't text many people and is not a massive user of emojis I guess the "recently used" ones are just a random selection - and if he's pressed one by mistake at any time - it will probably come up as recently used - simply because he doesn't use many different ones??

If you have no secrecy with your phones - and no other behaviour to worry I can't honestly understand why you're even thinking about this.

Sorry but you've even said it yourself - you're sounding like a loon.

I agree

Random emoji's come up all the time.

And OP surely you aren't the only one specific person he texts?

Maybe the seeds been planted because he's messaged someone else before that you found out I don't know.

But I couldn't imagine overthinking about emoji's.

cheeselover2021 · 18/10/2021 16:49

@girlmom21

Honestly I'd just call it a day if you're searching through his phone and monitoring his use of emojis ffs
Well I wasn't monitoring his use of emojis. Just those 3 random instances gave me this weird feeling. They would of been ones in his recently used bit as otherwise how could he have accidentality clicked them. Team that with he really doesn't use them very often, think the very very odd time to a mate. Never posts on social media, so not used there. Thats what made me check. Then with the 3rd one, I checked again to see if it was near the ones he'd send normally send, more to tell myself i'm being an idiot. But thats when I saw the others inbetween. With no apparant recipient who they would of been to. Plus what the actual emojis are of themselves.

I absolutely know how loony this sounds. It sounds like i've gone insane. But for me, when something doesn't add up, its because there is a reason it doesn't add up.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 18/10/2021 16:51

Can you ask him? Will he be annoyed you've looked through his phone?

Even if he says he deleted his messages at least you'll know you're not going mad and you can make a decision as to whether or not you trust him.

If he says they're all just random, again you can decide whether to trust him.

If he has a genuine reason for using them that doesnt involve deleted messages, he can prove it.

twrds · 18/10/2021 17:25

OP, you're right, it doesn't add up. My iPhone accurately lists my recently used emojis. Can't see any reason why his phone wouldn't work the same way.

Thewookiemustgo · 18/10/2021 17:40

My iPhone says ‘frequently used’ not recently used. Never know how these things work so just clicked on two I know I’ve never used, and it’s added them to the ‘frequently used’ list. Once is hardly frequently and yet there they are. I’d trust your gut rather than an emoji list. If something is making you think that something is not quite right, and you can’t shake the feeling, keep asking yourself why.

ExcitedtoTry · 18/10/2021 17:44

@Dandy0911

I honestly couldn't imagine initiating a grilling because I've seen a bed emoji in my DHs recently used.
Haha same. This is insanity.
Misty9 · 18/10/2021 17:48

I'm afraid I would trust your gut. Keep an eye out for the usual signs if you think confronting him wouldn't get you anywhere :(

cheeselover2021 · 18/10/2021 21:10

So, I just checked again. And 2 new ones today.
Laughing on floor emoji and an orange heart.

Accidental or random?
No messages today at all let alone showing those emojis

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 18/10/2021 21:15

Could you 'accidentally' switch phones for the day. Take his phone out 'by mistake'. See if anyone texts him.

supercali77 · 18/10/2021 21:18

OP. If you're serious about this gut reaction and he has form for deleting id use his phone next time and sign into WhatsApp web with it. If there are messages coming in that he then deletes ypu will see them. I dont particularly advocate for snooping like this but the gut is rarely ever entirely off.

annaop · 18/10/2021 21:23

@cheeselover2021

So, I just checked again. And 2 new ones today. Laughing on floor emoji and an orange heart.

Accidental or random?
No messages today at all let alone showing those emojis

He's definitely not pressing them accidentally then, unless he's suddenly developed sausage fingers? I could accept one or two being accidentally pressed over time - and then they go into frequently used section - but not the number nor the types you've mentioned. What's he up to, OP?
annaop · 18/10/2021 21:25

@Pinkbonbon

Could you 'accidentally' switch phones for the day. Take his phone out 'by mistake'. See if anyone texts him.
What if he's using some web-based method of communicating with someone? No texts would come through.
bunnybopbop · 18/10/2021 21:30

Really?? All this over emoji's!?

Please don't become obsessed with the emoji's on his phone 🤦🏽‍♀️ they change all the time and new ones pop up even if you don't use them...

Counsellor: hi what brings you here today
OP: I'm not happy with my partners use of emoji's
Councillor: I quit

bunnybopbop · 18/10/2021 21:31

Counsellor*

Fail..

annaop · 18/10/2021 21:34

Nah, in my frequently used emoji section, there are 30, all the ones I know I've used although there's one in there I've only used once. I don't get random new ones popping up.

epythymy · 18/10/2021 22:04

If it's whatsapp search by emoji in the search bar, all chats where it's used come up.

Also check his battery usage, that'll give you an indication what apps he's using more frequently

Nevercastaclout · 18/10/2021 22:27

My emoji use isn't in the order I've sent. Last one I sent was 😱 yet it's bottom left hand corner in the frequently used group. Still, they are the emojis he's used...frequently!
As PP said, go to settings and battery. It might show an app he's deleting, if not it'll show safari as most used. Or go to App Store and type in apps you suspect him of using. It'll show as him having them if he's ever downloaded Tinder or Kik etc.

liveforsummer · 18/10/2021 22:34

When you type a word the corresponding emoji pops up in the predictive bar. Tapped either deliberately or by accident it then ends up in recent until you use enough of your normal ones that it disappears again

coolcahuna · 18/10/2021 22:39

What happened the last time, is there history? Any other apps like kik or anything on his phone. A messaging app could be hidden in another folder potentially

VanGoghsDog · 18/10/2021 22:49

He could be using a messaging app, then deleting it after each use - such as Kik. Then you wouldn't see messages come up.

But equally it could be commenting on news articles, local radio web page, Mumsnet, YouTube videos, porn hub.....millions of things that have comment sections.

suburbanhousewine · 18/10/2021 23:08

Iphone suggests emojis and I always press them by accident and delete before sending. Also my DH regularly (I’ve seen him do it) press the big smiley button for emoji keyboard and select a random emoji, one was a Islamic building. This isn’t evidence of anything on its own I’m afraid.

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