Lingerie…just can’t be arsed with it

[Justcannotbearsed]

I can barely summon up the enthusiasm for sex. It’s usually ok in the end. Menopausal, stress job, stressy husband, lots of stuff going on.

He really likes me to wear lingerie. I haven’t for ages. I used to quite like it but, just can’t be arsed.

Should I just suck it up as just a harmless little thing that keeps him happy and make the effort once in a while?

@NiceGerbil

Just thought.

Men do have underthings related to sexy

OP get yourself some things aimed at gay men who enjoy that sort of thing.

According to Reddit, the male equivalent is a kilt. Which if worn in the manner of the true Scotsman seems practical too.

A kilt isn't lingerie! It's a traditional outer garment!

There's things on Reddit about male lingerie? You learn something every day!

The equivalent to lingerie, ie, a decorative and not entirely practical garment that often gives people the horn.

I think there's probably a Reddit for absolutely everything.

Christ don't let any Scotsmen see that!

Fuxake! That's... A ridiculous take!

They're not talking about schoolgirls in uniforms with kilts are they?

Kilts are extremely practical! Crikey.

Go and give them a bollocking!

As long as he keeps his holey old pants I'm keeping my big knickers. If someone makes cotton and silk knickers (no synthetics or scratchy lace thanks) that are slightly stretchy and flattering on a woman with a bit of a tummy then I'm all ears. Otherwise, nope.

Do you mean a 'bawbagging'?

I reckon Scotsmen are very well aware of the reactions kilts provoke (and the advantages thereof.)

What on earth do you mean?

The kilt is a garment of historical and cultural importance. It is practical and it's current form is linked to it's origins. It is outerwear.

It's not sodding lingerie. In any way.

And sexualising it whether worn by men or by schoolgirls is grim.

You think the Scots regiments wear it when doing parades for queen etc. Accords with your view it is sexy lingerie. Is... Reasonable?

Just stop! Crikey.

@Notthemessiah

Sounds fine, as long as you wouldn’t complain if he stopped doing something you liked because he couldn’t be arsed.

Hen the day men are expected to dress up Have their entire bodies hairless Wear makeup Have beautiful styled hair Have clear soft skin The list goes on Then they can complain Use anti aging products cream and lotions Pluck their eyebrows into shape Wear lingerie

Where’s the long list men expected to consistently to do with their appearance for women

It is nice to wear stuff to spice things up a little, but honestly if you can't be arsed don't be .
Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and see how things go from there.

I want to know how many men wear uncomfortable, itchy, scratchy, synthetic, underwear which irritates them, rides up their arse crack and cuts their balls in half.
If they do this then they have a right to ask their partner to do the same.
Same with shoes my dh likes me in heels but fuck me I'm not leaving the house in them if I have to walk further than 10 feet all night.

@WTF475878237NC

I think you do have to make the effort. It doesn't have to involve lingerie. But it does have to be something that shows your husband you give a shit.

This thread has given me a much needed laugh in places but@WTF475878237NC has probably nailed it!

Haha was up doing a night feed and forgot I even read this thread! Best of luck to you!

This is nonsensical as all those things would make men less attractive / sexy not more so. No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable but I think it's important to make an effort for your partner.

Sorry that should have quoted @Treeinlight

I think it is important to wear nice lingerie - not just for your partner but it will make you feel attractive too - it is all part and parcel of creating the mood.

My idea of sexy lingerie is having knickers and bra that are in the same colour. Not a set. As you know you will wear the knickers from the set more and then they fade faster, and it just looks shit.

No wonder I am single really.

A little while ago I had this little, shall we say, photo flirtation, with some fella. So he asked for a pic of me in underwear. So off I go, taking a few pics, in what i thought were an ok pair. To which he replied "oh granny pants I see"......

So that was the end of that. The fella that is.... Not the knickers. They are my fave pair.

It was said that no man looks good in lingerie. Whether its your thing or not you cannot deny that Jake Dupree looks amazing in that stuff!

I am of the opinion that we should make an effort for our Partners, all of us, no matter how long it’s been and I think when we stop making even the most basic of effort, the other feels neglected and problems start. I’m not talking about sexy lingerie particularly but just making an effort.

In the end it comes down to your relationship, talk to him, communication the most important thing. X

If he buys it for me I’ll wear it but I’m done with buying stuff to please him.

@coronaway

Sorry that should have quoted *@Treeinlight*

I didn’t say men had to do those same things. I have no idea how you got that I was asking why men don’t do those actual things My questions was why are there all these physical expectations on women and why are we not seek as perfectly acceptable and just as beautiful with a wash and deodorant like men are I was pointing out that there is no equivalent list of things ken need to do to make themselves physically attractive to women Women accept men with the bare minimum. . Whereas the expectations on women are far greater . Cosmetics shaving if body hair and al the rest for women are not somehow ‘natural ‘ things . They are expectations that have been developed over centuries .

Over time expectations could certainly have been developed in men and it would have been considered attractive but they weren’t
One only has to look at different cultures to see how socialisation and society impacts the expectations on women to do these things
There are cultures where makeup is considered weird looking , as with Shaving in various cultures etc

I think your missing the point that what’s attractive is molded by by media, culture and socialisation and it’s incredibly telling that the vast majority of these expectations to change and modify their bodies fall in women

And whilst I agree that both partners should make effort to keep healthy relationships my problem with these types of situations where women.feel pressed to dress up or do whatever what efforts are men required to make ?
Other than have a shower and sit back and watch all the effort and time the women is putting in ?

And of course if anyone man or woman wants to dress up in anything that’s perfectly fine

@Treeinlight
I really don't think that most men in relationships have anything close to those kind of expectations at all and most are attracted to their partners no matter what.

I personally think most men are dickheads but that is one of their redeeming features as a group lol

Of course there are assholes who do complain and compare and expect a lot of grooming but I don't think they are the norm.

Also someone mentioned reddit, I use reddit and there are men on there all of the time asking for suggestions for what they could wear that might be the equivalent to lingerie for men because they really really appreciate their partners for putting in some extra special effort occasionally....along with saying how they think their partner always looks sexy even when they don't even try and they just don't feel like they'd love to make more of an effort to please her.....and they make note of any and all suggestions given!

Obviously there are men who wear old boxers with holes in them who don't give a shit, but some men do want to make the effort!