Lingerie…just can’t be arsed with it

[Justcannotbearsed]

I can barely summon up the enthusiasm for sex. It’s usually ok in the end. Menopausal, stress job, stressy husband, lots of stuff going on.

He really likes me to wear lingerie. I haven’t for ages. I used to quite like it but, just can’t be arsed.

Should I just suck it up as just a harmless little thing that keeps him happy and make the effort once in a while?

Just be naked and say it’s invisible lingerie.

Also, demand he wears a crotchless leopard print thong as that REALLY turns you on.

I find the argument men don't wear lingerie a bit bizarre, who would honestly want to see their fella in lingerie In a business suit is another matter of course

@coronaway

I find the argument men don't wear lingerie a bit bizarre, who would honestly want to see their fella in lingerie In a business suit is another matter of course

100% agree. I can't think of a single man that would look good in 'sexy' underwear

I think it depends what type of lingerie. No I couldn't be arsed to truss myself up in stocking and suspenders, or a peephole bra, or crotchless knickers for example. But about a really nice, pretty and sexy, well fitting bra and knicker set? I like Ann Summers push up plunge bra with matching lacy knickers, which come in black, red, bright pink, royal blue and lots of other colours too.They look really hot but are comfortable to wear too. If you wear bra and pants anyway it's not too difficult to just change into different bra and pants x

Sexy lingerie? Wtf - I'd fart in his face.

do you think if youre knackered, stressed and menopausal and your libido has gone, then maybe its worth asking about HRT?

As for lingerie, do you mean extravagent sets with weird strappy bits, or does he mean just pretty bras and pants rather than thousand wash grey stuff? I dont see how its more effort to put on a nice looking set than a purely practical old set. Big pants can still look sexy. High waisted is all the rage.

Im not saying do things you dont want to do of course, but nothing wrong with him telling you that he would enjoy this. I expect that its more about the fact you dont want him to think youre up for sex when youre not

All anyone is getting from me in a fleecy hoodie and pyjama bottoms.

I don't know about anyone else but the phrase "sexy lingerie" creeps the hell out of me too. It's the language of an old perv, even if your bloke isn't an old perv. "I'd love to see that new underwear set you bought, I bet it looks amazing on you" is so much more likely to get me to oblige then "Phwoar I just love sexy lingerie" (heave)

I think I might shout "I'm Spades" in the manner of "I'm Spartacus".

I know how you feel OP. I spent quarter of a century with my husband and he always "preferred" I wear fancy underwear, sexy music and a candle had to be on. I must admit I enjoyed it too in the beginning but decades later, I felt like it was too much and unnecessary. If I would say something he would get upset. To me it started to feel like I have to "dress up" in order for him to want to have sex with me, as if myself was not enough to turn him on. At the same time, of course, he was always just wearing his regular boxers and I did not mind. At some point he started gifting me sexy underwear and sexy toys and such. It is true that I was not very much into sex for a long time (currently menopausal), but I felt that his behavior was a little too much. I am a grown ass women and if I wanted to buy myself a sexy underwear or a vibrator I can do it myself.

Not to say that this will happen to you OP, but I got really tired of it all (not just sex but other stuff too) and called it quits. He moved out in August and now, I go to my bed when I want to and wear what I want. Mostly my pjs, woolen socks and an oversized sweater and feel amazing.

1 thing that puzzles me is why some people mis match the colours of their underwear rather than eg all blue, all pink ect ?

@Hawkins001

1 thing that puzzles me is why some people mis match the colours of their underwear rather than eg all blue, all pink ect ?

People? Like men? My DP has lots of different colours of pants.

Some of these answers made me laugh out loud🤣🤣🤣🤣

*a question for other ladies as to why, when or if they mismatch rather than colour coordinate their underwear ? is there a preference or specific reasons ect

Just whatever comes out the drawer and still fits.

I think it depends on your definition of lingerie.. To me lingerie is what I wear... Everyday
I wear matching set, and if skirt or dresses I wear stockings as tights I think are grim and sweaty and give me thrush.
I think many on mn would think this extraordinary and dressing up for dp...
But I have always worn matching sets.. Some wisps of lace, some very overtly sexy, some retro, some big pants...
I wear "lingerie" as I like to feel put together, and it starts with my underwear.
My dp wears the underwear that he knows I like him in.. He loves that I daily make an effort with mine.. He says its more sexy that he knows I do it for me not him..

@girlmom21 and @coronaway I give you Jake Dupree.

[quote Lilolily]**@girlmom21* and @coronaway* I give you Jake Dupree.[/quote]
I think you've proven my point!

Ewwww!

Just thought.

Men do have underthings related to sexy

OP get yourself some things aimed at gay men who enjoy that sort of thing.

Even better. Say fairs fair. You want him to wear it.

A harness thingy. Some leather shorts with the bum covering cut out. Nipple jewellery? That should do it.

I think you do have to make the effort. It doesn't have to involve lingerie. But it does have to be something that shows your husband you give a shit.

@NiceGerbil

Even better. Say fairs fair. You want him to wear it.

A harness thingy. Some leather shorts with the bum covering cut out. Nipple jewellery? That should do it.

Why do people encourage pettiness in relationships?