Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

[BelladiMamma]

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

@Languidleopard this sounds so familiar. DD and I keep talking about her contact and what she's comfortable with. She knows that I have her back and I will change any of my arrangements for her, but she's also very respectful of that.

At the moment she's focusing on trying to keep a positive relationship with him which includes regular contact.

I've told her very lightly that I'm trying dating but nothing serious. So at least she knows that I have a personal life but it's not going to upset anything in her life.

It's hard. So that's why we aren't promising the earth or looking to someone else to promise the earth to us. ❤️

Thanks @BelladiMamma for bring so supportive. It really helps to know someone gets it!

Lol @SpringlikeBunk
“Maybe it’s an age thing but I freak out at people wanting to get Instagram details straight away.
I’m not on Instagram but not sure how someone seeing pictures of me pouting and pretending to be cool is helpful! Or things I’ve eaten hmm”

Completely articulated how I feel about social media, in particular instagram. Hate to say but when I was swiping it would be immediate left if a late 30s/40s and even sometime 50s man was advertising their ‘insta’ profile. Just urgh 🤮 sorry but that is not a sign of a real man to me. Cringing!

Completely articulated how I feel about social media, in particular instagram. Hate to say but when I was swiping it would be immediate left if a late 30s/40s and even sometime 50s man was advertising their ‘insta’ profile. Just urgh 🤮 sorry but that is not a sign of a real man to me. Cringing!

Mental Note to self:, don’t say ‘insta’ profile to anyone as I’m 50’s man.

Haha I always say if people want to see photos of my cat(cats 😢) and the places I go for a walk they're more than welcome to look at my Instagram and Facebook. Facebook tends to also have silly pictures I've found online and stupid posts to friends, where as Instagram is actually where I post proper photos. No pictures of food other than the cakes I bake sometimes or the tomatoes I grow. Very rare to have photos of me on either.

Found you! It's taken me all day to catch up. So many updates on cancelled dates and new relationships and insta oldies and shitty jobs and disappointing sex and hot sex and everything in between. And buckets of support.

I've got one barely-there chat going on with Mr Gardener. We matched two weeks ago, had a glitch which he apologised for, we chatted a bit on the phone last week but he wasn't very well so date not an option. He's now well but I've got my week with the DC and I won't talk to internet randoms when I'm with them so we've only exchanged a few voice notes this week. I'm not particularly enthusiastic, and I don't think he is either, but I quite like that. No pre-meet investing. Next week I'm free again so will push for date zero.

Until then, I will continue to live vicariously through you lovely lot 😊

I’ve caught up with most of the thread and enjoyed reading all your updates! Solidarity to everyone struggling through OLD.

I have a date with Mr Single Dad tomorrow, he’s staying over. It’s starting to feel a bit relationshipy. I am a bit worried about him going off me as I’m starting to fall for him a bit. We message each other constantly, he’s great in bed. But I am a bit wary as he’s slept with a lot of women before and not had many long term relationships. He also lives in a different city.

I told Mr Cars I thought it was best if we didn’t meet again as I don’t think we’re right for each other really, he came out with some sexist stuff on our second date.

After what seems like a few weeks being ill, Mr Sci-fi now wants to try meeting up next weekend.

An old iron I thought had disappeared, Mr Vegan, has popped up again and told me his brother’s been very ill so that was why he’s not been in touch.

Lastly I’ve been messaging Mr Beard, who has a spectacular one. We have lots in common but he’s not suggested meeting in person yet.

I had resolved to stop messaging irons and keep my life simpler but that doesn’t seem to have happened!

Hey folks

I've got a lot of tough stuff going on irl at the moment so probably won't be posting much but wanted to say Hi to all and thanks Bella for the new thread, and I'm enjoying following along. Love the supportiveness here.

Dating with my iron is going well (it's been a few weeks now) - but I'm like a red-flag hound, hot on the scent - yet unsure of my own judgement (once bitten twice shy) so I'm trying not to get too invested - especially when I've got other stuff to worry about - I'd rather just keep the dating as a pleasant distraction.

Virtual hugs to those who are struggling with stuff, and hi fives to those with the happy updates. This thread is so fast-paced! Have a lovely weekend everyone!

@Stayingstrongish that all sounds hopeful ❤️ despite the challenges with feeling 'relationship-y'

@PurpleStripyScarf hope you're ok 🤗

@WeWantTheFinestWines slow chats are boring but sometimes it's the only way forward 😘

@Naimee87

I had him texting on burner phone and it was five questions about WhatsApp (no really).

then when I said “prefer not to” immediate question was whether I had Instagram or LinkedIn?

It’s poor social boundaries as well as clearly wanting to “check photos and details in advance”.

He sent a very apologetic message saying that he was finding it hard to communicate from where he was working and promised a phone call tonight (then got an apology message saying he’s just got in at 10pm asking if it was ok to call, which I missed)

So I’ll give it to the phone call and see how that goes.

In terms of date zeros I have:

1. MrHedgehog - bumble shows he’s still abroad. He’s a train journey for commuting which might be an issue.

1. Other date zero who was fine but couple of misgivings and don’t want to just “friendzone” him so think I’ll make an excuse (he’s on a three week holiday so good time to detach). It’s easier to detach earlier than spend ages thinking about stuff.

1. One for Sunday who actually looks quite promising after reading his profile - interestingly I didn’t really pay much attention as he didn’t seem 100% my type, but better on second glance. Lives walking distance.

1. Slow burner chat guy who seems nice and we’ve agreed a walk of some sort. Not sure about distance though, again he’s a train journey away.

1. A guy who looks good but not quite as interesting as others in chat. Lives walking distance

1. A guy who again looks really interesting - he offered his number in the week and I texted (though he said to call) and no reply? Might actually try and call again as he did look interesting. It’s the distance thing again though - 25 min train or so does add up.

Morning. So my date was okay but no spark. We both agreed. And I'm still really hung up on Mr Scot :( feeling crappy but don't want to lose another weekend to anxiety about the situation. I'm stepping back from it all for a bit I think.

@Misty9 Do you think the lack of spark was becsuse you're hung up on Mr Scot.

I think the intensity of your thing with Mr Scot was so much that you cant shake him, plus we all want what we cant have🙄
Its good he has been clear with you where you stand and hasn't strung you along.

I hope you can enjoy your weekend and have things to do that will stop your anxiety, you don't want another ruined weekend.

Morning. No update from me, I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend before it starts getting busy.

Mr Cricket is working this weekend, then away next week, I'm seeing a friend for lunch on Monday, another for dinner on Wednesday night. It's my birthday at the end of the month so I have dinner and drinks with one friend and brunch with a couple of others to do, a friend at work wants to go out too. I need to arrange lunch with another friend as I've not seen him in ages.

I may see if Mr Cricket is around the week after next and wants to do something for our birthdays as his is the week after mine and I feel we should celebrate in proper Scorpio style 🤣🙈😈.

@SortingItOut no, I don't think so. We were different in some key ways, music tastes, extroversion (me) etc. It definitely didn't help that I was thinking about Mr Scot, but there was definitely not a spark. And you're right, it was really intense for such a short time and it's ridiculous but lots of things are reminding me of him. But he's definitely ignoring me now, despite saying things to the contrary, and that's probably for the best as every contact just renews hope :(

I just need to try and distract myself and have a good weekend...alone

@Misty9 If he's ignoring you then this shows the kind of guy he is.
Its a shame you met him so soon after his relationship ended, in a year he might have the dating/casual sex out of his system.

I'm basically alone this weekend (like nearly every weekend), although my DS (24) is here, he is mainly in his room.
My plans this weekend include cutting the garden, weeding out the vegetable patch, baking a cake for Monday's team meeting, housework, walks with the dogs, maybe some reading and some general pottering about. Its my ideal weekend.
For me happiness comes from basic things.
I mean I do like meeting friends for coffee at weekends but I do also need weekends to myself (to reset).

I hope you can find some enjoyable stuff to do.

Sorry to hear there was no spark and Mr Scot is still on your mind @Misty9 it's a bit of a double whammy isn't it. Hope you can fill your weekend with some self care and shake the anxiety
Busy weekend ahead for me, seeing Mr D and catching up with friends. Good luck for the daters, and enjoy some time out for those that aren't!

@Misty9 sorry to hear that you can't shift your feelings. I hope you don't get too stuck. Have you got any physical exercise planned, a blast at the gym or in the pool etc can really help bust those feelings and help you move on

@Isitreallyme177 I'm a Scorpio too! Not got anything major planned really, just looking forward to seeing my son who's coming back from Uni that week

@SpringlikeBunk I almost answered your overnight post. Some nights I really struggle with insomnia, especially at the weekend. I think my brain / body thinks it should be 'aht aht' doing something romantic or fun. You have lots of positive chats going on!

My date zero with MissBrazil was nice. She's really attractive and made me laugh. We got along very well. She was dressed super sexy though and I was in my Nordic jumper and jeans with my hair pulled back ... so not sure what this means or if she'll feel snubbed. Very tactile though. To be fair, probably the best date I've had with a woman in a long time.

MrSardinia's shift patterns in the end didn't work for me this weekend. I'm going away on Wednesday and need to sort out my DD's pcr test at the time he was free. But depending on MrActor I might see if MrSardinia can do a spontaneous one.

Also jumped back on Feeld because I was concerned that my free time wouldn't work with MrActor's. That's probably why I got insomnia. I had multiple chats going on and I really should have switched my phone off at 7pm as my head was still in them as I went to bed. Then I got a voice note from MrActor doing one of those things I hate in dating - but which I'm also guilty of - the 'logistics voice note' - which basically makes it sound like you're bottom of their list and if they can fit you in they will.

He was as usual charming and adorable on the note but it was a bit 'and then I need to just fly to the moon quickly and chat to Bill Gates so I'll let you know if I can squeeze you in during my coffee ☕️ break darling'. I think the NHS guys are often guilty of that too 🤔

It's such a turn off. Grrrr 👿

@SortingItOut thanks for your support. I feel more sad than anxious this time - which I can deal with more easily. I do think he's a good man, but he's in a really messy place in his head and life. I'm going to get up, have a shower, make breakfast and then paint my living room and buy some shelves! Also going to buy a gig ticket to see one of my favourite artists tomorrow. I'm not a fan of going to gigs alone, but I don't want to miss it. Have a good weekend

[quote Misty9]@SortingItOut thanks for your support. I feel more sad than anxious this time - which I can deal with more easily. I do think he's a good man, but he's in a really messy place in his head and life. I'm going to get up, have a shower, make breakfast and then paint my living room and buy some shelves! Also going to buy a gig ticket to see one of my favourite artists tomorrow. I'm not a fan of going to gigs alone, but I don't want to miss it. Have a good weekend[/quote]
I love gigs! Whereabouts is it? If London or the SE DM me?! Xxx (sorry not sorry to gatecrash 😊🤗)

@BelladiMamma 😂 it's Norwich

@Misty9 I've done 2 music events this summer on my own, both times I got chatting to random strangers and had quite a laugh.
Enhoy your weekend😁

[quote Misty9]@BelladiMamma 😂 it's Norwich[/quote]
Oh damnation!!

Enjoy it though. I've bought pairs of tickets each time and then found someone to go with but just as ok to go alone I think 🥰

@Misty9 I think if he's ignoring you, he can't be that great. We have a way of thinking the best in others but the bottom line is if he cared enough, he would make an effort with you. I do exactly the same but it doesn't do me any good!

Good luck to all those with dates! I'm just getting over this darn cough so just chilling seeing family this weekend. Most likely seeing Mr Retro next weekend but not too fussed. Nil chats going on which is a shame. I do wonder whether people are so happy to get back to normal that they are meeting people in real life more!

Just read this thread for the first time. I'm in awe of the dedication to the task.

I've been single for years, ds is 13 and I'm toying with the idea of dating again. But I'm nowhere near this organised. It's pretty daunting.

Well he's not ignoring me any more... But I almost wish he had with what he's shared :(