Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

[BelladiMamma]

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

@Isitreallyme177
Hey, fellow Scorpio, my suggestion would be get drunk at someone else’s expense, !

So many up coming birthdays! My plan is to get away for mine which also isn't a million miles away. No idea where yet. But think I could use it, just me and a nice hotel for a night or two, room sevice, turn my phone off.

@Dazedandconfused10

So many up coming birthdays! My plan is to get away for mine which also isn't a million miles away. No idea where yet. But think I could use it, just me and a nice hotel for a night or two, room sevice, turn my phone off.

Now that is a great idea, which I may have to steal ☺️

@JustAnother0ldMan I was supposed to be going out with my best friend for drinks but she seems to have forgotten, I might see if my brunch date girls can move to Friday night and we just drink cocktails and I fall asleep on the last bus home. They are at least reliable and wouldn't flake out on me.

@BelladiMamma

Hi *@PatsyClinSilVousPlait and @CrumpetStrumpet* welcome!

I'd say the apps can change quite a lot depending on where in the country you are ... I've tried a few of them although I haven't tried tinder because I am also bisexual and don't really want to be inundated with blokes who might get a kick out of that. So I stick to the slightly smaller platforms. The only high volume one I've used is POF

Good luck out there to you both!

Cheers and good luck.

Trial and error with the sites I guess.

I'm in a small town but within 30 mins of a city, so a reasonable pool available.

PoF has some faces I recognise from a couple of years ago, so they must be committed to the cause at this stage, though some look fake.

Also, I'm a man looking for a woman, so may tap up the thread for some tips if that's OK.

Oh very nice.

Was just looking at MrHedgehogs profile (creepily stalking his location), and seen he's just got back, and a text has popped up suggested dinner.

Deffo too early for the C word 😬😬 On tbe birthday celebrations - I'm a firm believer in self care all the time, and no better time than one's birthday. So if the friends are flaking and there's no prospect of stuff happening, it's time for retail therapy, M&S treaty food, spa treatment sans the rest. If not also getting drunk on someone else's tab ofc. I'm Sagittarius so mine not too far away either. Loving your idea of booking the hotel @Dazedandconfused10

In a surprising twist, Tinder has cranked into gear and turned up two more matches for me today. And already have had a long call this evening with one, Mr House. Very good looking in pics and so far seems lovely... my spidey senses are on alert though as this is unusually fast moving compared to my OLD experiences to date. Too early to name the other one yet plus his chat is a little odd, not in a dodgy way just a bit hard to follow. He seems genuine and interesting though so I'm intrigued to see if and how it develops.

And meanwhile Mr Smiler is doing all the right kind of charming messaging in the run up to our get together on Friday. I think he's very well practiced in this dating game, he knows how to tick the boxes.

Nice to have a bit more activity here at Brimstone Towers at last though!

*and the rest

not 'sans'

[quote Isitreallyme177]@JustAnother0ldMan I was supposed to be going out with my best friend for drinks but she seems to have forgotten, I might see if my brunch date girls can move to Friday night and we just drink cocktails and I fall asleep on the last bus home. They are at least reliable and wouldn't flake out on me.[/quote]
Fall asleep on the last bus, what a great idea !

Agree with @FireandBrimstone on birthdays - just make it a nice day for you and practice self-care and if mates do something it's a bonus!

Also agree feels there's a (possibly early cuffing) upturn in numbers and new faces. I

As a woman of science I'd love to see the data analysis for different months of people joining apps!

@SpringlikeBunk

Agree with *@FireandBrimstone* on birthdays - just make it a nice day for you and practice self-care and if mates do something it's a bonus!

Also agree feels there's a (possibly early cuffing) upturn in numbers and new faces. I

As a woman of science I'd love to see the data analysis for different months of people joining apps!

As a woman of marketing I'd love to see the same 😁

I find it interesting that none of the apps I've been on ever do the whole marketing thing around content very well. The odd DM on the app giving some basics around dating behavioural trends and generally sharing some of their data led insights would be helpful?! I mean it's not intrusive or taking away the mystique of lurve and romance is it?

This week I've been on and off Feeld and yesterday - a Monday - was quite busy in terms of messaging. But I'm not consistently measuring it so equally I know that late Sunday mornings are busy - which means you know the person messaging you has woken up alone 😊

Talking of which I don't think MrActor was lying about his various guests, auditions and production meetings as he was messaging me at times which would suggest he didn't have anyone actually in his bed all night 😁

The thing I don't like is that despite the intense and very keen messaging he's made no attempt to put another date in the diary, it's all just 'busy busy busy darling'.

Still, I've got a few chats on the go and I'm in no way over investing in him. I just happen to fancy the pants off him more than any of the others 🤔

I hope HerrHedgehog comes up trumps for you!! I'm quietly excited about him. There's some good signs aren't there 🤗 (which I know you're noting but not going overboard on!!)

@PatsyClinSilVousPlait love a good swapping of insights. Male and female perspectives are remarkably similar they're just expressed in different ways I think 🤷🏻‍♀️

Once we've all got over the sweet shop mentality and figured out what the red flags are, we are all just looking for someone to hang out with that we fancy the pants off and like as a person? That we can have an exclusive chat with / any chat with, without feeling like we are asking for too much

@FireandBrimstone that's good activity! All respectful too. It's so hard to navigate these apps that if at least people are behaving themselves it makes it slightly less painful ...

Talking of good behaviour, I'm irrationally pissed off with people who say 'I think we'd get on' & Haven't even made an effort to get to know you

@VanGoghsDog I was reading your update on MrStone with interest. It's nice to feel wanted but that is no good if he's not listening to you this early on in terms of comms. And the amber to red flag 🚩 of the way his last relationship broke up. Obsessiveness is all very well if it's mutual but when it's one sided it's scary and shit ...

@SpringlikeBunk @Bella also in marketing 🙋‍♀️ and your comments intrigued me, so I googled. This is four years old, not sure whether figures would have changed:

https://www.bustle.com/p/when-are-the-best-months-for-online-dating-late-summer-is-the-perfect-time-to-swipe-new-data-finds-73267

I have never heard of the term cuffing until now?!

Good point about using that kind of content for marketing - do they do so well that they really don't need to try that hard?

[quote FireandBrimstone]**@SpringlikeBunk* @Bella* also in marketing 🙋‍♀️ and your comments intrigued me, so I googled. This is four years old, not sure whether figures would have changed:

https://www.bustle.com/p/when-are-the-best-months-for-online-dating-late-summer-is-the-perfect-time-to-swipe-new-data-finds-73267

I have never heard of the term cuffing until now?!

Good point about using that kind of content for marketing - do they do so well that they really don't need to try that hard?[/quote]
Interesting 🤔

I follow a couple of single / dating accounts on Instagram, they're mainly for laffs or common sense advice, and that's where I heard about cuffing season first

I follow @the girl abides for sex memes
@wittyidiot for humour
@thelovedrive for common sense

They're all American and introduce me to the crazy US trends .. which can be grim but eye opening...!

@BelladiMamma

Talking of good behaviour, I'm irrationally pissed off with people who say 'I think we'd get on' & Haven't even made an effort to get to know you

@VanGoghsDog I was reading your update on MrStone with interest. It's nice to feel wanted but that is no good if he's not listening to you this early on in terms of comms. And the amber to red flag 🚩 of the way his last relationship broke up. Obsessiveness is all very well if it's mutual but when it's one sided it's scary and shit ...

Yeah, I need to message him.

He texted me Sunday (the one to say he "was listening"), then yesterday I got a couple of emojis in the day (not really looked at what they were or tried to wonder what they meant), then late last night "I'm going to bed, I'm wondering when I can see you again" (not "if"), but it was gone ten so I didn't reply, I need to do that today.

And it needs to be "back off".

I've asked (well, told) MrWG to find a date for us before I go away early Nov for nearly four weeks (😞 don't want to go, have to house sit for my sister, he was going to come with me for some of the time but now can't due to an operation being scheduled in that time).

Yes @BelladiMamma tbh my experience on apps really is “anything can happen” - all strangers till we’re not and even the nice geeky guys (MrHedgehog ticks the tallish/nice face/good mainstream job/no kids/thirties box) can turn into wannabe Hugh Hefner’s given the general app culture of “something good is in front of me, something better might be on the next swipe” !

So Mr Retro wrote me a nice note saying he was looking for more and this felt like just sex so we should call things off. This was also how I felt but didn't quite have the balls to nip it in the bud.

@Eesha

So Mr Retro wrote me a nice note saying he was looking for more and this felt like just sex so we should call things off. This was also how I felt but didn't quite have the balls to nip it in the bud.

That's very grown up of him. But why, if you both want more, aren't you making it more?

@VanGoghsDog there definitely wasn't a connection other than with the sex but I was of the view that it was better than nothing and was fun! However i was missing all the conversations and fun non sex stuff and I never even thought about him at all. It definitely was one for right now rather than forever.

@Eesha

That sounds a nice mature resolution - I think you said when you first met him you didn’t think there was that instant visual thumbs up for you so it was never going to happen really - some people you just don’t feel that with!

So @Eesha, about this Mr Retro of yours. You're saying he's nice, mature, and the sex is good?

I think we all want one of those!

Where should we form our orderly queue?

@eesha he does sound mature!

A guy I went on a date with but found very odd and intriguing a couple of months ago has gotten in touch to ask if I'm dating again as he'd like to see me. He also said 'we can be friends if not, I'd be up for that'. I told him I'd realised I wasn't ready after we met before. This was true, but also I was also a bit perturbed by how eccentric he was AND how much I enjoyed a kiss we had at the end. It was totally electric. Which sounds great, but it was almost too much? Felt very adrenaliney...I think my instincts weren't sure it was safe but at the same time I was very turned on?

Not sure what to do. I am sort of intrigued to see him again, but he was so....odd. I'm going to call him Mr Aubergine.

Also he's 46 and has a 15 year old daughter, whereas I'm 37 and want one or two children. If I was going to see him again I'd want to ask him how he felt about kids before spending another evening with him as what's the point otherwise when I'm talking to guys that do want kids?

It is odd with the "eccentric" thing @StartingAgain33

I had a date zero on Sunday and the guy was obviously into me (asked for movie that night and politely suggested meeting more this week), good job, younger at 28, doesn't want kids like me, well-educated.

In shape, actually a lot better looking on paper than other guys, if I had an Instagram account the kind of guy who would look good on it.

But his communication style/presentation just hit the wrong note with me? (ie quite "fey"/quirky/indirect/jokey/eccentric).

I'll see him again hopefully but not sure what to do about the instant....I wouldn't call it "ick", but just a quiet "nah".

But then again I don't need my usual caveman so I'll see how things go over the next few weeks.