Do I bin this guy off because he follows loads of women on Insta

[Biscoff123]

Ok, so I know this is really, ridiculously early days.

I met a guy on Friday night on an evening out. Instant connection straight away, he seemed really sweet, quite shy and down to earth, really funny, bit geeky, but absoloutely hilarious and I was laughing and smiling all evening. Physical attraction was there and just had such a good feeling about him!

We have been texting a bit yesterday (initiated by him) quite flirty... he said "maybe I will see you again sometime with a fingers crossed emoji" but hasn't actually asked to go on a date or anything....

Today he sent me a message 7pm (kinda flirty, banter type message)... I replied at 7.30, it is 10pm and he is online but just hasn't replied. Which just unsettled me. I don't want to be more keen than someone else.

I was looking on his Instagram, all his photos are very normal, no photos of him with any girlfriend/ex-girlfriend, so unless he has deleted them looks like he has been single for ever!

I looked at who he follows... probably I'm looking for red flags, and literally it is just hundreds of random girls/models/ lingerie type profiles. It has just put me off of him MASSIVELY. Such a turn off. He is 31 so I'd expect that from a teenager but not a grown man, I just find it gross.

I just feel disappointed, even though I barely known him and only just met him, we had such a good time on Friday, he came across as sooo lovely, and not pervy at all, and it has just been so long since I've clicked with someone like that and so I just feel like eugh, why are all men just gross.

Am I over reacting? Even if me and him did ever date i wouldnt be happy him following all these underwear and x-rated profiles so it would just be awkward and annoying for me to bring up, and I can't be arsed with it.

Just feel shit. I think I got carried away with the thought that I'd met someone with potential

Can I ask what you mean by ‘flirty’ messages? As I’ve realised that people’s definition of that vary widely. Do you mean fun bantering, or was he being overtly sexual?

Sleazy man denies being a sleaze shocker

Seriously just ignore him completely. He will see any interaction, positive or negative that you are still a possible shag.

@Buggritbuggrit

Can I ask what you mean by ‘flirty’ messages? As I’ve realised that people’s definition of that vary widely. Do you mean fun bantering, or was he being overtly sexual?

Fun bantering but just constantly and absoloutely no proper conversation. The final straw last night was when he asked me what I was wearing in bed which I did not appreciate as felt that was crossing into the seedy part!

“ He said "you think a lot don't you..."

As opposed to the wank-fodder he sends creepy messages to and are there for his amusement and pleasure and that purpose alone (to his mind)

He may as well have INCEL tattooed on his forehead , steer the fuck away from this one. Probably has himself built up in his own mind as a really nice guy and is angry at women as a whole for the fact he’s still a virgin

Asked you what you were wearing in bed facepalm.... Good lord...
And that was after he told you he wanted to take things slow just a day ago.

He's the garden variety creep that sees you as an object. Abort mission!

Yeah, mission aborted!!! It is just annoying!! I feel like what is the point of even talking to men, they are a constant disappointment!

@Biscoff123

Yeah, mission aborted!!! It is just annoying!! I feel like what is the point of even talking to men, they are a constant disappointment!

Hang in there

Thank you @JudgementalCactus it just makes me feel worried because he seemed so lovely, and makes me question my judgement and how people can so easily fool you! Ah well, better to see these red flas now and bin him off now when I barely know him than weeks or months down the line! I just let myself get carried away and thought I'd met someone special...why do I get so ahead of myself...

@Biscoff123

Thank you *@JudgementalCactus* it just makes me feel worried because he seemed so lovely, and makes me question my judgement and how people can so easily fool you! Ah well, better to see these red flas now and bin him off now when I barely know him than weeks or months down the line! I just let myself get carried away and thought I'd met someone special...why do I get so ahead of myself...

It's so much harder to extract yourself from a bad relationship than to just not enter one in the first place!

You did the right thing. Sure you found him charming at first but then your spidey senses tingled and you asked for outside perspective. Your instincts are right and with every dating experience you'll be better prepared to notice alarm bells and trust your gut.

Thank you @judgementalcactus yes definitely!

‘He said "you think a lot don't you..."

Yep unfortunately for these sleazy guys a lot of us women are using our brains and not letting society and mysogynistic view convince us we owe sleazebags anything . And no following Tom hardy is not like following women in g strings , legs apart , oiled up or bending over , tits out and doing sexual poses that men use to as a wank bank and men absolutely know this but try and use it as some false bs comparison. Nice try , might wash with some , but not if we are using our brains

I would definitely consider asking what you were wearing in bed to be overtly sexual! Glad you binned him. Onwards and upwards.